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How do you get started part II

Wed, 25 Mar 2026 17:32:12 GMT

Especially if the news is grim

Shortly after I wrote the ‘How you start your day’ article in late February, world events took a bit of a turn, prompting the real question about getting started even though things have gone a bit mad. (This article is going online, so I am choosing my words carefully…)

What can we, ordinary people with very little influence, operate when all of that stuff is going on?

The Connection corner of the Vitality Triangle becomes even more vital in times of duress. Connecting to ourselves, our immediate surroundings and to people who matter to us is really helpful.

I believe it is even more important to take care of local things. To influence and control what we can.

How we are. Drinking water and eating nutritious food, going for a walk.

How we interact with others. Smiling. Taking time to listen to one another. Helping one another out.

Doing our work. Most of us have chosen work which makes a difference to others. We can continue to do that.

Smelling the roses. We have small, beautiful things all around us. Taking time to notice and enjoy them is usually helpful.

These are the things that we can influence, regardless of what is happening elsewhere, out of our control or zone of influence.

So how to get started? Begin with something delightful and use that to bounce into work action.

And definitely stay away from eating any frogs.

How do you start your day?

Thu, 26 Feb 2026 08:44:13 GMT

What if ‘Eating The Frog’ is not the answer?

Do you remember how all our childhood board games came with a written set of rules? Someone had devised them, written them down and got them published so that anyone could consult them at any time and immediately understand what to do.

I am at a life stage where conversations with friends often include our recent discovery of labels for our not being so ‘normal’. We share the always having felt slightly at odds with, well, most things, like someone hid the rules of the game. Being brought up near Oxford, as school kids we occasionally found ourselves in settings where psychology researchers came and played games with us. One involved going into a room and figuring out the cultural rules – finally a use for all the hypervigilance and mirror matching experience, because that was an exercise I could do. As could many of my friends. Birds of a feather n’all…

Anyway, I digress. Over New Year during a ‘comparing our quirks and cute eccentricities’ conversation, the topic of task lists and approaches to work came up. I was asked if I use task lists. ‘Yes I do’ I said, ‘I love spending time organising them. But then I completely ignore them. But, it’s a great way to get started’.

Can you relate?

(There are usually two types of people, neither are wrong.)

I recalled that conversation whilst watching the BBC coverage of the Winter Olympics one evening. Clare Balding (the experienced sports commentator) and Chemmy Alcott (the retired downhill skier) were discussing what athletes do just before they compete. We see them visioning their way through their runs and getting into the zone immediately before their run, but what about before that, in the waiting time? Clare was surprised about the random things they get up to. Tom Daley famously knits, for instance. Chemmy said she used to juggle as it sharpened her mind and took her entire focus, leaving no capacity for thinking about her run. Apparently, dwelling on thoughts about hurtling down an icy mountainside at 90mph isn’t very helpful… who knew?

Another evening, they were showing videos of what other athletes do. The Austrians were playing table tennis as a team, walking around the table, taking it in turns to take the shot. It was very impressive. And quite mesmerising. Tennis players and Formula 1 drivers do the catching of dropping (tennis) balls thing, or tapping lights, whack-a-mole style, to sharpen their already lightening fast reflexes.

I find elite athletes fascinating. They aren’t normal, obviously, and their single minded pursuit of results is not necessarily healthy for us mere mortals (playing tournaments with broken legs, for instance), but their ideas and their tips can be insightful.

They have often spent years understanding mindset, usually because the biggest obstacle to success is their heads, rather than their competitors. Let’s borrow some stuff from them.

Getting going on a work session: you have things to do...

How do you go about it?

Q. Do you ever find chewing on a frog an encouraging opening act? I know for some that is THE tactic. Personally, I find generating that level of resistance at the outset of a busy workday quite abusive and unethical.

Yes, seriously. Why do we consider it acceptable to attack ourselves?

I find it more helpful to sidle up to the harder things, sneaking up on them and pouncing from a place of momentum, then celebrating the conquest.

What I usually find is that once done there is a sense of ‘was that it?!’

These things often seem bigger in our heads. Perhaps we aren’t so very different from elite athletes after all?

Writers often set a timer for three minutes and just write an answer to a simple question. Life drawing classes usually open with a quick draw. In both cases it is the act, rather than the results that matter. This is about loosening mental tightness, because that’s what will slow us down.

The activity of rummaging about with a task list is my way of getting going and loosening up. It’s also a way of thinking in 4D, about what matters and noticing how I am in relation to my work. One of the other online Time Management / Productivity coaches (although I don’t think either of us choose those titles) talks about a lily pad task list. The first time I heard it, it was a major ‘aha!’ moment.

Noticing how you are. That’s vital.

Obviously, there are necessary tasks that have to be done, but if you are running your own business the reality is not a nice linear task list, but a smorgasbord. An all you can eat buffet of possibilities, like a huge selection box of chocolates. You know you can’t eat all of it today, even though you know you mainly love them all, but which to choose? It depends on the mood. There is a time and a place for the strawberry cream, but not on a hard centre day. As humans comprised mainly of water, we are cyclic creatures affected by diurnal variations, cycles of the moon and seasons of the year. We are even affected by the modern synthetic cycles of the working week, financial year end and so on. Our moods shift, we get buffeted by external events, by interactions with other humans and just the daily stuff of human survival in the ‘developed’ world.

What we cannot be, is permanently productive. What can we be instead?

Sometimes we are totally up for calling others, reaching out, connecting, promoting our businesses, and at other times, we need to be quiet and more inward facing. Or we might be on fire with the strategic thinking, and yet the next day we can’t even anticipate what we might have for lunch, let alone make a decision about it. Perhaps we will be really receptive to new information, in a great state for reading and research. It makes sense then to be able to identify our tasks by qualities that suit how we might be on any given day. These are the lily pads. We can pick the lily pad that matches how we are and then work through those. Over a period of time it all mounts up into a glorious spectrum of completed projects and errands and becomes our personal (famously not built in a day) city of Rome.

You may have read or heard me talking about ‘The Art of The Possible’.

It is the basis for ethical and fair trade, the alternative to beating our wonderful creative, cyclic natures into submission and gaslighting ourselves whilst comparing ourselves to all the performative online presentations of perfect productivity, tech bro style. You know what happens to the worker bees? Yep, they drop mid flight, trouser pockets full of pollen. If people could work continuously in this way, then weekends, high days and holidays would not have been invented. Neither would the Sabbath have been mandated in the ancient written social records that are the religious scriptures. Let’s not forget, the broligarchy is founded on profits before people. This is not an attitude we can afford to adopt - our businesses are nothing without its people, primarily You.

How are you? What does ‘possible’ look like for you right now? What do you need? What gentle tasks can you use to limber up for whatever is next for you? Whatever it is, choose it with great intention and commit to it with the right energy. Once completed, celebrate and add it to a Tadaaaaa! list. And yes, jazz hands are totally appropriate – embodying positive steps, however tiny they might be is a critical step, especially if you too are in the process of sneaking up on a slippery, less pleasant task. Let the frogs live on in peace.

_____

If you’re running your own business and are tired of forcing yourself into someone else’s productivity rules, you might be interested in the way we work in “DO to BE”.

Focused sessions. Clear start points. Real breaks. No frog-eating required.

Ten percent mindset

Thu, 16 Oct 2025 18:07:36 GMT

Could this be a useful thing?

I was sitting in a breakout room during a 2 hour training class with the inimitable Tad Hargrave, the Marketing for Hippies guy. We had been asked to reflect on an individual exercise we had just done, focusing on one sub-aspect of one facet of our businesses. We were in fleas on fleas territory… Someone else was speaking, sharing about all the things they needed to do to improve the state of that one sub-aspect of their business. It was an overwhelming listen.

Let’s not forget, a business run by just one person is a complex little beastie – lots of moving parts and things to juggle in addition to looking after the clients. Generally, there are rarely enough hours in the day for doing all the things, and many people go at it with the same ‘work ethic’ attitudes they were conditioned into at that proper job in corporateland where they got burnt out and picked up mental health injuries. The risk of burning out (again) is often high, unless we learn to do things differently, in rhythm with ourselves, tending to our needs as we go.

The ever expanding task list

Anyway, here this person was, expanding their neverending task list to infinity and beyond. They were not Buzz Lightyear… but they were questing for perfection in a similarly un-grounded Space Cadet sort of a way of that cute little Toy Story character. It was unconvincing. They themselves were unconvinced. And kudos to them for all the great ideas, but they were setting themselves up for eating an elephant in just one sitting … a fall.

They had forgotten a critical qualification in one of the questions that Tad had posed during our exercise:

‘what changes would you need to make to improve the situation by 10%?’

Ten percent! Not ‘make it perfect’ , ten percent. Now that’s a very different perspective...

Into the sauna

The next morning I was enjoying the sauna discussion at my local leisure centre and there was an earnest young man, pushing himself to stay in the sauna, pushing through all sorts of pain barriers.

He was being a proper brave boy. (That's not a compliment, by the way.)

We got talking, and it turns out he is fighting demons on a daily basis. He spoke about the great support he is getting from his circle, the need to learn to love himself and of levels of happiness. He said being happy is one thing, but layer it up with another action to be happier and another one to be happiest.

It was a daily push for him. All or nothing. Black & white.

The amassed wisdom of the older sauna crowd got on to discussing the space for gentleness and kindness in the process. Yes, he conceded, recognising when he is happy-er is enough, and he doesn’t always have to quest for being happy-ist, because that brings a sense of failure, misery and sadness to the happy or happy-er levels. You could see the lightbulb moment! Visibly happier, he said he doesn’t have to be in the -ist, he can be in the -er.

Grim pursuits?

Two situations about 12 hours apart were bringing something about ‘enough’ and ‘The Art of the Possible’ . There are pockets that open sometimes in the more mundane levels of achievement, like secret portals to a space of boundless joy. But to have the chance to visit these spaces, first we have to appreciate what we have done, rather than perpetually looking through the lens of failure at how far off the land of perfection still lies and rushing into the next not-yet-done thing.

This isn’t about not stretching into the slightly ouchy places, something that is very good for us, but rather it's about not exhausting ourselves in the grim pursuit of endless growth and development.

Reframe

Where are you more stagnant than you would like? What could you do that would improve things by ten percent? Where could you be in the -er level, without questing for the -ist level?

And how can you rest and appreciate the already-done things in life? What have you got, or what do you do that your eight year old self would be in awe of?

I’ll go first: I can drive a car all by myself.

October favourites

Tue, 07 Oct 2025 13:17:08 GMT

What am I looking forward to this month

It is one of my favourite times of the year! I love the invitation to dig out woolly jumpers, light the woodburner, hunker down during storms as much enjoying the more elemental weather.

Over on Substack, I have re-begun again with my Sunday Journal Prompts, and of course towards the end of each month I encourage people to consider what they are looking forward to in the next month. And it occurred to me that perhaps I should share what I am looking forward to too.

Weather! I love weather which makes its presence known

Quiet weather: I also love those days where it feels like the world is holding its breath between the seasons and the storms. It’s warm. There’s no wind. There’s blue sky.

Turning leaves and the re-emergence of naked trees: years ago I used to almost fear the leaf loss and dread the plunge into deep winter, but then someone pointed out that it is only in winter that we get to see the true structure of our majestic friends. I particularly enjoy viewing them with a sunset or dawn behind. And of course, kicking through the leaves.

Later dawns: gives me a chance to see the display without needing to get up at an unholy hour

A client’s annual conference: It’s for all the volunteers that run gliding clubs in the UK and I organise it every year. I don’t love the intense, diligent admin that goes with it, but I do love the mix of sessions and the variety of people who attend. I love the way they share ideas between them, and I love how noisy the chatter at lunch is. Very fulfilling.

The first fire up of my woodburner: yes, it will smell a bit, but oh how I love it. I have yet to do it, but I know it is coming soon.

Fetching the wood: involves a drive to a great wood merchant’s yard, perched high on the Cotswold edge, where the wood has been properly seasoned. I stack it up in the boot of my trusty old Volvo, take it home and stack it in my wood store. There is something deeply fulfilling about looking at well stacked firewood.

Stews: I throw everything in raw and put it in a slow oven. For a variation, if it’s a day for the woodburner, I stand the pot on top of the it to bubble away for the day.

Improv: I have recently begun to take classes and I am loving it. I love the supportive people and I love the playtime with them.

These are just a few of the things I am looking forward to in October…

Rhythm

Sun, 21 Sep 2025 09:18:49 GMT

and what sorting my task list taught me

At some point during the glorious long hot summer of ’25, I realised I was beating myself up for ‘not being very effective’ . It was of course mainly garbage.

It’s been an odd year – great leaps forward in many ways but an impossibility of movement in others, not helped by catching two types of pesky Covid in the space of four months. I was tired, weary, feeling like I was on a treadmill. I was not walking my talk which, now I came to face it, had turned nasty, wounding and undermining myself with its whispered venom. I didn’t feel like I was living authentically because I wasn’t doing all the things I usually encourage others to do. What. A. Fraud.

Way to go, kicking a girl when she’s down, Alison. Classy. WTF?!

Finding Peace

After a few days of being even harder on myself, I had a realisation: I was recovering from illness, so how did I think I could be in rhythm? How could I be naturally flexing between the numerous work activities that any soloworking, home based self employed person has? It’s simply not possible. So I relaxed, and queried what was possible, rather than constantly nagging myself about what I wasn’t doing, what I ought to do, and generally ‘shoulding’ all over myself (never a good look).

I found some peace with being out of rhythm, somehow convincing myself that it wouldn’t be this way forever, and it would return.

I had been too fatigued to actually go on holiday, despite knowing that a week camping, walking and catching up with old friends in Cornwall would be just the remedy I needed. But I didn’t have the energy to pack the car, so a staycation was what I had instead. I did manage to get to a weekend teaching and meditation retreat in Wales. There I caught up with a different group of friends. We were learning from a highly respected Tibetan Buddhist, and usually the message from them is ‘don’t take yourself so seriously!’ . This teaching in particular majored on the whole ‘life is an illusion, just a mental construct’ aspect. It pointed to more rest and more connection. So that’s what I did.

Finding Rhythm

It took a couple of months, but in the last week of August as I felt the seasons beginning to shift into Autumn, despite the heat, I slipped into my rhythm again. I was inspired to engage in some autumn cleaning. I could feel the pull of the new term, the new school year. For years in my late teens and early twenties, I had packed my life up into boxes every September and moved. It’s not something I’ve done for decades, yet the migrational rhythm remains and it has become the first of the ‘new year’ shifts. There is a seasonal stationery urge too, but I have managed to stay away from splurging on a new felt tip pens, a clean rubber and a geometry set in a tin.

Next, I got round to tackling my task list in Notion. I pruned many ‘great ideas’ (shifted into a ‘someday’ category and hidden from view, because they truly are great ideas and their time may well come) and replaced them with the necessary. I am back into planning my weeks. And it feels good.

What I achieved didn’t ‘just’ happen, it was a process. I was doing it during the “DO to BE” coworking session. There I encourage people to be accurate about how they will be spending each cycle of work session. I was not being very accurate at all, finding that each initial task involved a useful detour via untangling something else! I rediscovered very useful notes and remembered what I will be calling my ‘newsletter’ having realised some time ago that the term ‘newsletter’ sounds so boooooriiiiing it’s never an encouragement to write to the trusty people on my email list. (My subscribers can never complain that I spam them.)

Finding Joy

I rediscovered a pad of weekly planning sheets from the awesome Sara Price, currently on sabbatical from her wonderful ‘Actually’ work. The first line asks what the intention is for the week – the vibe and energy we want to enjoy as we work. I wrote ‘weaving joy into the necessary’ . As I wrote it, I remembered that I have been wanting to get to the local Thursday evening Improv classes, and that as I won’t be assisting on the Embodiment Unlimited Coach Certification course this autumn, I can now attend. So I looked it up and booked myself in, using my Profit First pot to do it.

'Profit First' , in case you're wondering, is a system where a small percentage of each piece of income is put to one side, before paying any bills. This is money for spending on treats, fun and beauty, playtime and merriment. Next, money is set aside for the tax bill, and then for the operating expenses of the business. Finally you pay yourself. Look it up, it’s a book by Mike Michaelowicz and it has revolutionised my business.

Anyway, the point is that I took action on something I have been promising myself for ages. And it is an embodiment practise. And it fuels the oft neglected air element.

Later in the day, I travelled to a nearby town because I had a problem and couldn’t raise the business I wanted on the phone. I had been trying for a few weeks. Their shop was shut. I went a couple of doors down the street to another business to ask if they knew anything. They did not. But they were selling beautiful things, including an unmarked glass bowl, turquoise with stunning clean lines. French she said. I took note of the stacking up of improbable events and bought it. Later, when examining it lovingly, in amongst the scratches on its base, acquired over the last half century, I found a hand written scratch of a name. A Norwegian glass maker of some repute. Not unmarked then, and not French… a bargain also paid for from my Profit First pot. I still haven’t managed to get hold of that business, but somehow I care rather less about it now…

Finding Meaning

Overall there were several lessons from this episode, which I share for you to pick, mix or leave:

Stale task lists help nobody: worse, they can paralyse. Grabbing it by the short and curlies and interrogating the tasks to make sure their presence really does serve us is so liberating. Almost like we get to be in charge of our own task list… not having the tail wag the dog. This is a super CEO move and will instantly end the tyranny of the task list.

Bullying is a hiding to nothing: guilt and shame have no place, there is always a reason for not being able to function well. It is highly unlikely to be our fault.

‘Letting’ rather than ‘pushing’ was the way out of the stagnancy: I rested, replenished and gradually the natural rhythms emerged. Greeting these old friends has been such a joy.

Money systems liberate: by paying for improv classes from my Profit First pot, that expenditure was not an expense that required justification, it was a joyful and nourishing, positive act.

Cycles and rhythms are a good answer: tapping into lunar, seasonal and energetic cycles, I gained and built a dynamic of the sort that nurtures me and my business. It has reignited my sense of joy and reconnected me to my sense of purpose, helping to build my capacity. I have a sense of vitality again and with that comes a deep sense of fulfilment.

And as you reach the end of my thoughts here, what are yours? How are you? What do you need right now? What’s possible? What is your next act of nourishment?

Procrastination is a Symptom

Tue, 24 Jun 2025 11:36:03 GMT

Not a verb

Procrastination is not a real thing.

There, I said it.

How are you currently responding to that?

The most frequent reaction I get is one of heretic-style horror. No wonder, given that the concept of 'Procrastination' has its roots firmly in the protestant work ethic.

Firstly, to be fair, especially if procrastination is a lived reality for you, it is real. But only in the sense that people really do feel like it is THEM not doing something.

But that bit is also a big fat lie.

Oh, the shame of it

I believe the concept of ‘Procrastination’ is yet another thing, alongside being not young enough, too fat, too thin, too much, too little, too young etc used to make the ordinary person feel guilt and shame…

In preparing to write this article, I did the right thing – I went in search of academic research for wider context for procrastination. It’s a toxic read. So many labels for the dysfunction, general ‘poor behaviour’ and personal faults associated with it. I won’t bore you with the details – it’s probably nothing you haven’t heard before, it’s just been dressed up in American style psych speke. It’s all just a prompt away on the web, but as this isn’t a Uni essay, I can’t be bothered to waste time building in that side of the argument to this article. Take it as read, it exists.

Suffice to say, it is the lazy labelling rather than the ‘why’ of the behaviour that gets me irate about ‘procrastination’ as an undermining slight.

The reality is that procrastination is a symptom. Take a person, anyone you know… anyone at all… first person you think of… someone you know well...

Would that person genuinely not do something just for the sake of it? Sit there at work not doing something, just because? I am going to take a wild guess here, that they would not. Unless they have a reason to not do a thing.

Now, under what circumstances does this person you know well, ever not do things?

When they can’t, right?

So why, when at work, do they not do something that needs doing?

Because they can’t.

Why can’t they?

Probably because they are missing something; information, a resource, peace, encouragement, adequate rest, adequate nutrition, adequate hydration, the right skills, the right equipment, the right timing. It could be anything.

Looking a bit wider, this missing thing, why would it be missing? Is it being withheld or made scarce?

Who is withholding it?

I am going to take an even wilder guess now… the very same person or organisation which is also shaming them with the big P adjective.

Look at the efforts made by some businesses to get their workers back into the office, on the basis that they don’t trust them to be productive at home. These are probably the same companies installing keystroke tracking software. I bet the procrastination levels in such companies are high. Why would that be? What’s the missing element? I bet it isn’t the extra 3 hours of travel to and from the office each day on crowded roads or trains, or the ability to buy lunch in a local hostelry. It isn’t the water cooler chat. It isn’t the interminable in-person meetings. How about trust and agency? Perhaps layered up with a lack of recognition, possibly even some stealing of the limelight. I could go on, but I am guessing that if you read my stuff on a regular basis, you have probably left working in offices behind you, possibly after that terrible bought of ill health because you got burnt out… If you need a reminder, just go and watch a few episodes of ‘The Office’, if you dare! (I daren’t – I still find it too triggering 30 years and two kids later…)

The roots of our productivity and profit obsessed culture can be found in the ‘Protestant work ethic’ – the urgency of working hard in service to others, and putting our needs way down the list of priorities. The German socialist Max Weber coined the phrase in his 1904/5 essays that later became the book, ‘The Protestant Ethic and the Spirit of Capitalism’ . He traced the roots through Protestantism and back to The (Magisterial) Reformation back in the 1500s.

Puritanism places work as a spiritual calling, idleness as a sin and greatly values asceticism. These were the people who banned revelry and when their ideals were too extreme, they climbed aboard a ship and sailed off over the seas to distant lands and founded a brave new nation. Benjamin Franklin, a son of that nation, is often held up as a great example in modern day productivity philosophy. (I still have my Franklin planner from my ‘proper job’ upstairs in a cupboard somewhere). Benny boy was always keen to emphasise frugality, hard work and self-discipline and their importance for civic success. Immanuel Kant (another German) set out his ideas of acting as a moral duty, and more importantly, failing to act, for instance delaying, indulging, or avoiding, is a moral failing. All idealise a strong moral backbone and stiff upper lip that overrides personal discomfort or desire in the pursuit of service to others and the greater good, especially in the generation of wealth.

‘Procrastination’ as a word (literally meaning ‘pushing forward to tomorrow’) emerged in the 1500s. Yes, this is the cold, hard, much less fun version of the Spanish ‘mañana’, or the Cornish ‘dreckly’. So, now do you see how and why this word is often being thrown around like colourless confetti in productivity circles and workplaces?

I don’t like it, not one bit.

The symptom perspective

If we instead view procrastination as a symptom, what is really going on? Let’s use my ‘The Vitality Triangle’ concept as a lens to have a squint at it.

Instead of treating procrastination as a behaviour to “fix”, ‘procrastination as symptom’ is viewed as a canary in the mine, an intelligent signal that one or more of the following are missing from the task ahead of us:

Purpose: does it provide a clear enough ‘why’?

Without meaning, there can be no motivation, so if the task feels disconnected from what matters, resistance is a wise response.

Capacity: is everything required for the activity in place?

This includes energy, clarity, safety, somebody else completing their bit of the work, time or anything necessary to generate a ‘Whoop! Let’s go!’ response.

Connection: the human aspect

We are a tribal, community species and we need co-regulation, context, witness, or shared intention. We are also individuals, so we need connection to self. We might get that from our faith (whatever flavour our philosophical running rails are), gawping at nature, or even just a fist pump of celebration when we have done a thing, even a little thing, like sitting down at our desk.

Obviously, we can man up and push on through in less than perfect circumstances (we’ve all had more than enough training and social conditioning to be truly adept in the manning up and pushing through department…), but our systems know when something isn’t right and will do what they can to keep us safe.

This creates an additional level of friction. Not only are we attempting activities that we don’t have all the resources for, but now we are overriding our internal safety systems. As we persist, we may go on to deprive our bodies of more resources like movement, hydration and food in order to get that thing done.

And to top it all, somebody (possibly accompanied by an inner critic) will lurch into view, brandishing a greyscale confetti bomb and accusing us of procrastination. These are the perfect conditions for brewing up a bout of ill health and burnout…

This is no way to go on. The three aspects above are required for sustainable working, for vitality and vibrancy, for us to sparkle in our brilliance even if we are only doing work we can tolerate, like the accounts, because it is part of the bigger whole.

‘Procrastination’, or rather not doing the thing, is a symptom that there is missing resource. It is not a verb. Nobody chooses it.

So the next time you find the P word swimming to the front of your mind, pushed as a label by your inner critic, look again, look harder and look wider to see what is missing.

There is always a why, and it isn’t about the person (you?) wilfully not doing the thing

Now do you see why I believe that procrastination is not a verb, it is a symptom?

Does that change the way you approach your desk, the housework or your next piece of life admin?

What if 'Flow State' is a Lie?

Tue, 29 Apr 2025 15:10:07 GMT

What if Bruce Lee was right?

Yesterday I had an awesomely fabulously productive day, with lots of clarity and strategic thinking (sound decisions were made) rounded off by running an evening training session for a client. Mondays don’t get any better… I was buzzing so much that I didn’t get to sleep for hours. This morning was an effort. I had been excited for today, I knew the weather was going to be amazing and I was going to go to the gym before the “DO to BE” session, but having gone to bed late I needed the sleep instead. And then when I got to my desk, like the magic beans in James and the Giant Peach, yesterday’s energy had wriggled away, and I couldn’t grab hold of it. Now I was tired, grumpy and getting quite resentful.

It was not helpful.

I was experiencing an energy hangover... still excited about work, but also frustrated because energetically everything was hard.

Worse, I was actively mourning yesterday’s flow state

I sat and pondered what I wanted from today… and I wondered what I could do as all the magic energy beans had wriggled away and I was needing to get stuff done anyway. I leant into what might be possible. Shoving myself and battling against the day looked like it was going to make for a miserable time, and I was already grumpy enough, so what were the alternatives?

I looked at what I hadn’t quite finished yesterday (sorting my task list), and I opened the “DO to BE” co working session, welcoming the members and inviting them into the space ready to crack on with three rounds of deep work. It was so good to connect.

And as I made these tiny movements, I noticed something significant:

I was in motion and I had done it by gentleness, not brute force

I was in flow, but it wasn’t the mythologised ‘F.L.O.W.’ I had experienced yesterday, it was something else…

Last week I was on a camping and walking holiday in the Peak District. I had noticed a tiny spring on the side of a deep narrow valley. Unlike the springs round here in the Cotswolds, this one was not gushing. In fact there was no visible movement, yet it was happening. In a field above there was a small oval well, again, with no obvious sign of movement of water, yet the valley it had cut was deep and steep.

My pattern making brain clunked into gear, joining up my grumpiness and this slow, but powerful water.

I realised that I have been conditioned to think of ‘Flow State’ as being that mode of perfection, and the assumption is with that whole productivity 'Flow State' nirvana, that the flow is always deep and fast.

What if ‘Flow State’ is yet another of the many productivity instruments of torture?

You know the sort of thing… the ones that leave us feeling like failures because we couldn’t achieve the whole get up 3 hours before you go to bed, bro hustly stuff where you do a whole day’s work before anyone else wakes up...

Psychologist Mihály Csíkszentmihályi originally coined the term "flow state" to describe that immersive sweet spot where skill and challenge meet. It’s a powerful concept. But somewhere along the way, it got commandeered and distorted into this glossy and ideal productivity mode, a high speed, high output, deep immersion.

Yet the reality is that flow can also be gentle, slow, steady, like a gentle stream in an upland meadow, rather than the vast and mighty Ganges disgorging into the Bay of Bengal, visible from space.

Naturally, the next brain stop in the patterning adventure was Bruce Lee, who said:

“Be like water making its way through cracks. Do not be assertive, but adjust to the object, and you shall find a way around or through it. If nothing within you stays rigid, outward things will disclose themselves.

Empty your mind, be formless. Shapeless, like water. If you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup. You put water into a bottle and it becomes the bottle. You put it in a teapot, it becomes the teapot. Now, water can flow or it can crash. Be water, my friend.”

What I was experiencing this morning (and noticing) was a different flavour of flow; one that honours tiredness, adapts to the real conditions, and still moves forward without forcing. And I like it.

As we closed out our “DO to BE” virtual coworking session today, one of the community members said:

“Thank you for today, I got stuff done I wasn’t expecting to be able to do.”

It is those sorts of results that make me genuinely glad, and I know their clients will benefit from their work today too. It’s what we do every Tuesday, going with the flow, and working with the art of the possible, just as we are.

How is your flow today? How and where have you been in motion, particularly the smallest and littlest of ways?

Shall we pledge to drop the judgement, and instead lean into the art of the possible, given the prevailing conditions out on the water each day?

If you’re curious about the quiet magic that happens every Tuesday morning in my "DO to BE" virtual coworking space, you can explore it here.

It’s a space where this kind of flow is gently cultivated and it's for people who care about their work, but don’t want to bully and shove themselves to get it done.

Shadow Languages

Mon, 24 Mar 2025 13:21:30 GMT

Powering up self sabotage...

You know your love language? (maybe you don't): it's a concept about the way people feel most loved and connected. What if I told you that your love language is also the most effective way you sabotage yourself?

Yep. It turns out we are absolute geniuses at getting in our own way (but you’re old enough to know that already!).

What if I said that self-sabotage is so much more effective if you use your primary love language to do it?

What do I mean by that? Here are a few examples:

Words of Affirmation? You’re probably a pro at tearing yourself down with a ruthless inner monologue

Acts of Service? Oh, you’ll do anything for others… just not yourself. Burnout, anyone?

Receiving Gifts? You’d never dream of depriving someone else, but when it comes to you? Nah

Quality Time? Always time for work, people, or doom scrolling. But time for yourself? Avoid at all costs

Physical Touch? A hug? Rest? Comfort? No, no, you’re fine - just grit your teeth and crack on

Ooof!

What stunned me is that as far as I can tell, nobody else is talking about this.

I’m calling this phenomenon Shadow Languages: The Reverse Love Languages

I’ve been discussing it with clients in a low key sort of a way for ages, but in the last week or so I have begun mentioning it to others in a different way (there's a story) and when I do that, I see light bulbs of realisation going off.

So, I’m making this real

I don’t know yet if it’s going to be a quiz, a guide, a workshop, or a full-blown revolution - but it’s happening. Today I needed to say it out loud! It’s very exciting. It explains so much. And I have so many ideas (ADHD anyone?!) and there is so much scope to have a lot of fun with this.

_______

About that story: last week I had a meeting with my coaching teacher and mentor, Mark Walsh (yes, he of Embodiment Unlimited). I have been grappling for a while with what to call myself in terms of the ‘just what sort of a coach are you?’ question. I had got as far as ‘mindset coach’ which is a bit vanilla and we were discussing the way I help people who self-sabotage. I added ‘which is just so much more effective if you use your love language to do it’ in a casual conversational way, because it’s just so obvious to me that I thought everyone already knew (want a side of autism with that ADHD, madam?).

Judging by Mark’s blank expression response, everyone does not already know. ‘What do you mean?’ he said.

I gave an example, ‘for instance mine is quality time, yet often I am so busy and/or time blind that I am often late, too late to do the fun things with myself that make work days more joyful, like having an unhurried cup of coffee in a nice café on my way to a meeting.’ Regular readers of my stuff may have noticed that I regularly champion mooching as a great booster. Yet... I withhold what I need most. That’s positively depraved.

Anyway, it was like I had prodded Mark with an electric cattle prod! He lit up with the concept of ‘Hate Languages’. And with others I have spoken to since (including Chat GPT with the question about who else is talking about this) and the reactions have been remarkable, including ChatGPT’s and let’s not forget, he is a language model; machine not human.

So I have been developing it. And this article is me drawing a line in the sand to say that I have this concept that apparently not everyone else already knows, and I am working on it. There are lots of potential names for this and I may use all sorts of names in the future. But for now, it’s ‘shadow languages: the reverse love languages’.

Algorithm Life

Fri, 14 Mar 2025 08:54:55 GMT

Is it like living with a narcissist?

How is everyone doing? Life is interesting times - the traditional Chinese curse!

I've had quite a disrupted couple of months on a personal level, causing me to get very choosy with which work activities I spend my limited time and energy on, so that I preserve my limited capacity.

Whilst I've been not doing much outward work, I couldn't help but notice a few changes to Instagram. I have enjoyed Instagram for years, from back when it was a place for sharing photos. I still have my original account (@daisysnapper) but it's also become a place for work. Except now they've changed the format of the homepage grid/thing.

Creating in squares is a discipline. It requires thinking in a different way, something I always enjoy.

I'm not appreciating being disrupted

But that isn’t what's causing me to hesitate. I didn't have the capacity to even recycle content and schedule to Instagram and Facebook, so I didn't.

And then the whole oligarchy situation revealed itself in the US. Now I'm not so sure that using Meta as a business tool is aligned with my core values of inclusion, equality, generosity, fairness and so on. To be frank the sort of values that a marketer would say, "Yes, and..?! those are just about being human! You need something more individual".

Well. Apparently, these values, along with that little concept called ‘empathy’ are not important to all anymore. As I said, ‘interesting times’…

So now I am wondering what to do. Confusion generally prevents action.

I don't have clarity right now

Well I do, but the alternatives require effort. I need to research. I need to create. I'm still low on capacity, but the sense of purpose is increasing. It has been useful to have this gap in my habitual behaviour, because the space has enabled me to ponder what I want, what I need, what my community needs.

What about you? What are your thoughts a Meta? Is it something you feel comfortable using?

And then there’s the algorithm...

This insight emerged during a conversation with a friend who also has lived experience of living with a narcissist.

If you're wondering what that might be like, look at the 'Zelenskyy in the White House' episode of Drumpf series 2, and what he is having to do in the ‘bending over backwards to appease the unpredictably shouty people’ department. Notice that whatever he was doing, it was never going to be good enough for the people who had already decided that they were going to use him to make themselves look good. ... ... ...

Anyway, you get the picture: it's like being Alice down the rabbit hole, or being trapped in a Dali painting; everything shifts and nothing is as it seems.

During our conversation, we realised that feeding the algorithm is like living with a narcissist. For instance:

The need to go and give it attention before & after posting, otherwise your post won’t get seen by anyone

The everchanging goal posts... that they don't tell you about

The punishments for not jumping according to the latest whim that they haven't told you about...

The sense that if you just master that new behaviour (like miming and dancing on videos of precise duration), then next week everything will be sunny and wonderful again, and the people who connected with you on the social media platform will be "allowed" to see your content

And don't get me started on that whole thing about being kept out of contact and not being able to see other people without them getting upset, like when you post a link to your website, for instance.

Don't they realise that the Covid years are over and there is no need for social distancing anymore?!

I'm just not convinced I need that energy in my life

I am conscious that my LinkedIn game is still a work in progress. But it doesn't seem like that much fun, and it definitely isn’t Facebook (hurrah!) even though nowadays there are lots of people using it that way.

I need creating to be fun and fulfilling. So I'm thinking about working up my Substack . I have lots of tips to put out on notes and I love writing articles. There's always my website too (thank you for coming!).

Will you come and connect? [Links in the footer] I'd like that. I really appreciate getting to know people.

As I'm writing this, I am heading to a meeting in real life, to meet up with real people in real life and I’m really looking forward to that. Can’t beat being social in real life! Let’s all do more of that!

_____

Back to my opening question – how are you doing?

We shouldn't underestimate the draining effects of the reports of *waves arms around at everything* ‘ludicrous behaviour’ being shoved at us from all directions.

Realistically, retreat from the world isn’t practical. In fact, in some circumstances, it might even be called ‘running away’. That's an entirely understandable emergency strategy to preserve life, but we cannot live in a state of emergency. Instead we must find ways to look after ourselves and those near and dear to us.

The best and most human response is counterintuitive (and you know how much I love a counterintuitive thing!)

Instead of retreat and running away, turn towards and connect

Taking time to connect with ourselves and others is vitally important during interesting times

Want to connect with me so we're not reliant on social media for staying in touch? (I don't spam)

Two years of "DO to BE"

Wed, 05 Feb 2025 18:50:30 GMT

...and why it brings me fulfilment

I know I should be writing about you, but I have something to celebrate - my online community is two!

On the sense of fulfilment scale, it’s one of the best things I’ve ever done.

Why? Because I can see and feel the difference it makes for the people who come to the sessions. The way they carry themselves in their work, shifts; the kind of output they create, evolves.

Most of all, I see confidence and happiness.

Every Tuesday morning, our community gathers to work together, utilising The Vitality Triangle framework I devised as principles for working in a sustainable, impactful way . Why Tuesdays? Because that’s the day I can do. Facilitating these weekly sessions over the last two years has made a significant difference to my business practise, because I too have my backside on my chair in a distraction-free space, spending time working ON my business, in the company of others who are doing purposeful work.

I say ‘business practise’ with an ‘s’, because like most people who choose to work for themselves, my business is a form of creative expression of myself, and like a martial art or meditation practise, it needs to be practised via the ‘doing’ of it to build the skills and build confidence. That’s why I settled on the name “DO to BE”, because this attitude of working on our businesses as a regular practise is a way of getting better at it, getting better results and helping more people. Practise builds mastery and capacity.

What DO to BE Actually Is

At its core, it’s simple:

A 3-hour virtual coworking session every Tuesday morning, followed by an optional chat to reconnect after all that deep focus.
A monthly codeclutter session, because we need space to be creative and clearing clutter often precedes unexpected and magical progress.
Soon, there will be monthly member showcase and networking evenings, because this community is a group of brilliant people doing meaningful work.
I also run coworking retreats, where we gather for several days of intensive work, balanced with nourishing play and relaxation in a beautiful place.

And eventually? My big vision: a vibrant community with an annual in-person gathering, where the members are the speakers, where ideas spark new work and fresh collaborations, and where together we cheer one another as we make an impact.

Right now, though, it’s still a small community, and the regular rhythm is weekly co working and monthly co decluttering. I love it.

Why It Works (Especially for ADHD & Neurospicy Brains)

Something magical happens in these sessions. In a recent session people described it as ‘heart lifting’. Imagine choosing ‘heart lifting’ after three hours of deep work! That certainly lifted my heart, I can tell you…

What is going on? People who struggle to start finally get started. People who struggle to finish actually finish things. People who’ve spent years feeling like their workdays disappear into a black hole suddenly feel in control of their time again.

Why? Because this space removes all the obstacles.

No decision fatigue. You don’t have to work out when to work - I’ve already done that. You just show up.
No time blindness. I manage the session structure, so you don’t lose hours in an internet rabbit hole.
No overthinking. You commit to a task, do the work, and move on. Simple.
No guilt. Whether you tackle something huge or just send that one email you’ve been avoiding, it all counts, and we all celebrate what has been achieved.

The thing about ADHD brains that is usually grossly misunderstood: we don’t lack willpower! Have you seen us in real life? We move mountains when the conditions are right! It’s just that there’s no forecasting the right conditions for creating gloriously, and they’re frustratingly elusive if we try too hard to artificially create them. So that’s where “DO to BE” comes in, providing a structure, body doubling, and gentle external focus that makes momentum feel effortless. “DO to BE” isn’t about ‘fixing’ productivity; it’s about creating the kind of environment where focus, creativity, and momentum happen naturally.

Structure without pressure

Accountability without guilt

Support without judgment

It’s about making work easier, so we can get out of our own way and do what we do best. Well.

'Working well' is a fundamental principle too because lots of us used to have 'proper jobs' and many of us have experienced some level of burnout. Those who have know all too well that that fear of it happening again lurks constantly. I promote working with vitality because vitality and burnout are mutually exclusive . Even if we haven't trodden the path of broken dreams that is burnout, we're purpose inspired and have work to do, so we must do what we're doing in a sustainable manner.

The Hidden Challenges of Solo Work (That No One Talks About)

Many of the women in my community have something in common; they’ve spent years, often decades, adapting, masking, and pushing through without realising their brains were wired differently.

For those of us who have worked out that we are ADHD later in life, suddenly everything makes sense. The struggle to stay on top of admin, the tendency to hyperfocus on creative work but freeze when faced with an expectation of doing the diligent work, the dull-but-necessary tasks, the exhausting battle between big ideas and actually finishing things.

Working solo only amplifies these challenges. There’s no one to nudge us out of a spiral when decision fatigue kicks in. And the worst part? Traditional productivity advice is useless. Let’s face it, it’s worse than useless with its shame loaded descriptions of procrastination and bright advice alongside perfect photos of people living their lives perfectly... If we’re being honest about it, dismissing peoples lived experience and telling them they ‘just’ need to double down on a system that makes everything worse, then telling them that it is their fault they are procrastinating, that’s tripping into gas lighting territory. We don’t need more “just make a list” tips. We ‘just’ need systems that work with us, not against us.

I know! That! [...aaand breathe...]

What People Use This Space For

When I first created this space, I imagined people using it for big creative projects: writing books, launching courses, designing new programs. And yes, that happens. But what’s surprised me most is how often it’s used for the small-but-crucial tasks that otherwise get stuck in limbo.

Setting up that piece of software you know will help but have been avoiding.
Drafting and sending the tricky email that’s been sitting in your brain for days.
Flushing all the ideas out of your head, onto paper so you can stop feeling foggy & plan your next steps.
Finishing the admin work that’s not fun but needs to happen.
Getting clarity, resetting, and actually making decisions.

And, of course, sometimes people do use it for the big, creative, delicious deep work projects.

That’s the beauty of “DO to BE”, it works for whatever needs doing.

Why This Isn’t About “Accountability”

A lot of coworking spaces focus on accountability. I don’t.

Most of us left school a long time ago, and honestly? That vibe was never great. No one needs another system designed to make them feel like they’re failing.

Instead, I encourage my members to make really accurate, honourable promises to themselves. Promises that aren’t based on magical thinking but on realistic expectations. Because when you keep a promise to yourself, even a small one, you build self trust. And that’s where confidence comes from; not from external pressure, but from knowing that when you say you’ll do something, you really will.

And whatever gets done in a single session? It’s celebrated.

What People Say About The “DO to BE” Community

You’ve heard why I love it. Here’s what real people say (sometimes people don't like to share their full names and that's OK):

"After the session, I felt so accomplished. I always get stuff done – top banana." Sarah Platt, Sarah Platt Social Media Consultancy

"It’s structured without being rigid. I don’t feel pressured, but somehow I just… work." Rachel Harmsworth, The Write Now Collective

"I finally got that task done that I’d been avoiding for weeks. And it felt easy. That never happens." Michelle Thomas, The Happy Business Club

“Loved it - thank you for hosting such a warm and purposeful space. The structure/activities were so well-considered and appreciated.” Lucy

“Loved the set focus/break times and movements and also just writing in comments as opposed to chatting to maintain focus.” Jo.

“After the session, I felt very pleased with myself, satisfied and impressed with my productivity. I liked how simply and lightly they were held. There was a spirit of fun and collaboration in Alison's approach which was very appealing to me. And the sessions were boundaried which worked so well.” Nicola.

The Magic of Magnificent Women Doing Magnificent Things

“DO to BE” is not a women only space, but most people here happen to be women.

But let me tell you about the women who join my community. They are magnificent. Purpose-driven, deeply creative, full of ideas and ambition and fire. They don’t need more discipline. They don’t need more ‘try harder’ advice. They need a space that works with them, not against them, so their brilliance can unfold without friction.

And that’s exactly what “DO to BE” is.

Seeing people bring their visions and dreams to life and contributing with confidence, that’s what brings me such a deep sense of fulfilment. It is a privilege and a joy to be able to support their work in this way.

So, if you’re tired of white knuckling your way through solo workdays and want a better way, one that feels supportive, effective, warm, welcoming and slightly playful, come and join us.

No pressure. No stress. Just a Tuesday morning coworking session with a bunch of like-minded, slightly higgledy-piggeldy but deeply capable, humans.

Want some? Come and join us as a member or via the PAYG option, we'd love to cheer you along

or...

Survive or thrive in '25?

Mon, 27 Jan 2025 14:53:42 GMT

... which are you choosing?

Let’s talk about vitality and capacity – that’s what’s underneath this whole ‘survive in ‘25’ scarcity rhetoric.

This month is turning out to be quite the gift in the stressful, unsettling department isn’t it? You might think I’m talking about the news from across the pond (political and fire related), or perhaps the high profile murder cases, or perhaps Sir Stuart Rose’s ridiculous statements about productivity and working from home, or any of the many things, but no. Well, yes. But not specifically, although I’ll be coming back to the potentially hefty reality of the effects on our capacity and vitality.

No, I’m talking about Microsoft’s new neurodivergence test, sitting in the margin of every word document. Yesterday I couldn’t get it to go away.

It shut me down

I could not compose any thought of any sort

Today I’m coworking down at Stroud Brewery and it turns out I am not alone! The copilot squiggle will neatly divide between lovers and total executive function losers. [To get rid of it, go File --> Options --> copilot and untick ‘enable copilot’]. And it isn’t in the news, possibly because the American Techerati have deemed it a great idea. It probably is – I enjoy and appreciate a rummage in the ChatGPT collective brain as much as the next creative, but the lack of choice and consent of copilot is brutal. Is it wrong to hope the NHS will cotton onto it as the neurodivergence triage method to shorten the interminable process to get onto the waiting lists?

How is your capacity at the moment?

Aside from all the news and the Twitter style reactions to the news on all the social media platforms, there may be difficult things going on in your life. For instance, one of my cats has gone into a terminal decline. It wasn’t on my rough plans for 2025, but it’s the flip side of having these characters in our lives isn’t it?

For the last week I have been coming to terms with it and making sure that his last days are good for him. But it also involves waking up in the night to check up on him and looking at him every morning wondering if today is the day when I need to call the vet. We have been doing intensive wood burner and sofa therapy, last night with added BBC Winterwatch. He really enjoyed the footage of the kestrels, short eared owls, voles and wood mice.

His palliative care has thrown a focus on the high value of the smallest aspects of my days. What would we be without noticing and appreciating a patch of sunlight on the sofa, then choosing to sit in it for a few minutes, for instance? Or stepping into the garden and watching the old boy check up on the local cat news via pee mail, and noticing the birds, feeling the quality of the air and breathing with intention for a few minutes.

The other thing I am noticing is how this stress is shrinking my capacity, and the effects of it are differing by level of: me; project; and business (i.e. individual, project & organisation). I often talk about these three vitality triangles stacked up and how there might be different weaker corners of purpose, capacity & connection at the differing levels, but when one corner is weak on all three levels, everything becomes more challenging.

I guess my major concern in January '25 is just how many of us are having our capacity quietly and concurrently whittled away on all three levels.

'The Vitality Triangle' , devised by Alison Randle MSc works on 3 levels: individual, project & organisation

Over coffee, my coworking buddies and I have been talking about the prevailing messaging about 2025 being a year to survive, and how hard it is financially for so many people at the moment. And then we have this onslaught of ‘End of the World’ rhetoric from highly excitable journalists deployed to the west (fire) and east (ice) coasts of America - the dawn of a new American Presidency so alarming that a (female) Bishop felt moved to put a Christian word in for the meekest in American Society. Plus the other hot spots of death, loss and destruction around the world, some being reported and others not so much. It’s a lot. And it’s there in the posts on LinkedIn, people clearly being affected, and it is affecting their work. And then someone will reprieve the scarcity story, and on the negativity goes, dripping on us persistently.

And yet, is it true? Have you checked out the price of a stadium music ticket recently? They rapidly sell out. And apparently in Stroud last Saturday lunchtime, finding a table for food was nigh impossible. I know it’s becoming a destination place, but it’s January 2025, both the month after Christmas and according to the media, a time in our lives when nobody has any money and belts must be tightened to make the pips squeak. Philosophically and mathematically things are not quite adding up…

So I ask the question, in 2025 are you choosing to survive or thrive?

It’s all about the art of the possible. It’s always about the art of the possible.

Q: When there are external things shrinking your capacity and affecting your vitality, what can you do?

A: Look to the other two corners of the triangle: purpose and connection.

Why do you do what you do? Who do you help? Lean in to this a little with me now… Picture the shiny happy face of someone you helped, remember what they were doing and saying and what that sense of fulfilment felt like. What are the qualities and characteristics of those feels? Where are the feels in your body? What are you doing in your body, especially with your chest, shoulders, hands and breathing? What else do you notice? Spend a little time there to help you connect with your purpose and re-establish meaning in what you do.

If you want to up the connections, find some nature to gawp at, either through a window or look at the usually invisible pot plant. Even better, go for a walk. Consider your philosophical approach to life – what bigger faith and beliefs do you connect to? You could also call a friend or have a coffee with someone. What connections can you make easily right now and over the next week?

Today despite being fairly sure that today is the last day for my cat, I went to a place where I have friends, we chatted and got a better sense of perspective, and even though I am feeling pretty shabby about many things, I have written a thousand words which I hope will make a difference in the confidence of the people who inspire me to do what I do.

What's the truth? And who's truth is it?

As a second order activity, it is worth checking out what is true. Our natural negativity bias will be encouraging catastrophising, and sometimes a little of that can be quite cathartic. However, as one of my meditation teachers often points out, ‘all thoughts are junk’. So what is true at each of the levels of vitality? What is going on? What is good? What needs attention? What is possible? The shift from catastrophising to pragmatism is often helpful.

What and who can bring you a slice of joy? I got Wordle in two a couple of days ago. And I sat in the sun on my sofa with my cat. It’s the smallest things. We get to choose. What are you choosing?

Clive the Cat in November 2020, enjoying a patch of sun on a comfortable chair. He was a very whiskery cat.

Note: I drafted this article a few days before being able to finish and publish it. Like so many of you, working ON my business gets juggled down the priorities when capacity gets scrunched, client work was prioritised, followed by business admin, as creating new content becoming im-possible in terms of available time and mental bandwidth.

My cat lived a few days more. He was given a very gentle send off at home on Saturday morning. Coming back to the article on Monday morning, the purpose of the article remains, so I haven’t re-written it. Today, whenever it is as you read this, some of the news points in time have drifted, replaced by others and but the sentiments remain.

We can be genuinely affected by so many things - how we respond to external events & chatter is in our gift

Want to do a quick check on your vitality?

Vitality in real working life

Tue, 07 Jan 2025 11:34:32 GMT

... and what Gavin & Stacey can teach us about it

Is something off the telly real? Well no. And yes. I’m not talking about the story so much, although in a kind of pleasing meta (second level) way, it is there too. I’m talking about the work of creating Gavin & Stacey.

Did you watch the ‘Fond Farewell’ programme on New Year's Day? So much joy, laughter, pathos and love! If you didn’t, it’s on BBC iPlayer for January and I really recommend it – call it follow up research if you want, because there is so much to learn from it.

I recorded it and only saw it yesterday. I wasn't expecting what I saw - it has truly inspired me. About halfway through (I think when they were in bed together) it hit me, this is what working with vitality looks like in real life!

To recap on The Vitality Triangle, my working theory is that there is an art to working well; that if you want to be working sustainably, without fear of burnout, you need to be working with vitality. I believe this can be achieved if you, your work project and your business have Purpose, Capacity, and Connection (the three corners of the triangle). If you have all of those in place, then you will experience enjoyment and fulfilment as you work, and your confidence will grow.

I highlight this glorious piece of British TV as a great practical example to share with you. Why? Because vitality was sparkling through everywhere. An hour of people talking about and doing what they love. What can we see as we observe the cast and crew as they shoot the final scenes of a highly successful, seventeen year, life changing creative project?

Firstly there is clearly great connection. This group of people are a joy to watch as they interact. Now why is that? We spend a good part of the programme seeing them celebrating together, which is always an effective way to connect and re-connect, but there is more to it than that. How has this great connection developed over the years? They clearly adore the work, and they clearly adore one another. I don’t know them in real life, (and they are actors) but it looks like they are able to be authentically themselves in one another’s company. And they can clearly trust one another in the physicality of their work. But what else?

There is of course, purpose. The purpose of the show evolved from the initial inspiration and early ideas. It is not as Ruth Jones and James Corden (the then little known writers) originally envisaged at all. Someone they showed the script for a one hour one-off about a wedding rejected it, but instead asked for six 30 minute scripts based on the back story of the guests. That shift created important subject matter of the sort that became compelling for those who worked on it. The calibre of the cast and director was well above what might be expected for a little sitcom on BBC Three. There are wry smiles about the low level of pay on offer. When the purpose is right, money becomes secondary to fulfilment. When there is fulfilment, people’s capacity for doing the work multiplies in an almost infinite manner, and there is great appetite for it. Imagine feeling hungry to do your work…

Later on, James Corden is describing how the Christmas special five years ago nearly didn’t happen. The turning point was connecting it back into its purpose. When James and Ruth are writing, they will search for the right words according to the characters and read the lines in the voices of the characters. It works.

There is purpose too in the leadership, you can see it in the shared appreciation in the words shared in Barry, on set and during those last evening drinks. That phone call where Ruth is being Gavin is priceless! I could go on…

We see Ruth and James writing together in a couple of settings, including a nice hotel. They create good conditions for writing, including (and vitally important) resting between sessions. And later we see them in their transport going to the last day of shooting. Despite the flowing good cheer the previous evening, they are up early, devoted and dedicated to doing their jobs well.

There’s a final nugget to be gleaned from this ‘fond farewell’; the art of leaving well. The clue is there in the greeting ‘farewell’, an ancient instruction wishing people well as they go on their way. It’s something that actors do regularly because their projects are often short, but it is important to leave well, with both appreciation and closure, a special kind of graceful exit. We see ‘leaving well’ both with the people who work on the project, but also with the Smithy and Nessa, the work of the project. We leave them at a specific point in their lives, a point at which is appropriate. We leave them well … and we will never, ever find out what happens next. And that is perfect.

Your assignment, if you choose to take it, is to (re)watch ‘Gavin & Stacey – A Fond Farewell’ and see what you notice about their vitality in action. Consider too what you can do in your working life to boost your appetite for your work.

What about your connections, situations and settings? What do you need more or less of? For many of us living in the post-COVID age, we’re still weak in our connection area. If you want a guide and some ideas, I’ve got a free workbook to help you get more intentional with who you are (and aren’t) connecting with in 2025.

_______________

Useful links:

The Free 'Purposeful Community' Workbook

The full article on The Vitality Triangle and here's the one on Avoiding Burnout

Want to get a handle on your vitality? Check it now with my quick Vitality Quiz

Resting into 2025

Wed, 18 Dec 2024 08:50:48 GMT

And getting the new year off to a calm start

It’s the end of the year already! Have you forgotten about the half month reality of December? Are some of your grand plans still dreams? Can you find any peace with that? How are you? How are you really? However you are, that’s a real fact worth noticing. Using the information to inform your next actions will help you set up the next few weeks and months.

December is a great lens to be making choices through. We’re often at our most bedraggled, especially if at that life stage which involves sudden emergency costume making and cake baking for school. That aside, many of us will be feeling the habitual end of term, end of year rush requirement to get everything done by Christmas close of play. I don’t think it needs to be this way. I believe we can all work well whatever the prevailing conditions.

But we’re in midwinter, nearly at the longest night. As cyclic creatures, we are not designed to be rushing about in midwinter. This is the time of year for energy conservation, topping up with rich food and preparing for the coming cold months before the warmth and fresh energy of spring. It’s also the time to be gathering with favourite people, connecting and telling stories around the fire. We are designed to come inwards in mid winter. As I wrote in my ‘Summering’ article , seasons and cycles run through everything. The year, obviously, but also work projects and periods of intense progress have their beginning, middle and end, followed by rest. There’s a spaciousness just beyond the end of something, a gap and a pause before the next thing comes rushing in with its optimistic fresh spring green beginnings.

There are subtleties to the period before an ending too. Things are less intense. There is less passion to drive action. A late great friend of mine used to say that one of the greatest skills we must learn is ‘to leave well’. A well paced project or period of work has a natural U-curve, where the closing period is gentle. Let’s consider the autumn ‘term’. It began with the back to school feeling in late August and early September, and gradually picked up pace as the nights drew in and the remaining weeks and months of the year evaporated. Late October and November were fast. And now it is nearly Christmas! Even those of us with badly paced work projects (yes, me too) are currently experiencing the final, shallower parts of the U-curve – it is just not possible to be going at the sort of pace we were experiencing just a few weeks ago. Spoiler alert… some things need to be let go of.

So how are you now, and how do you want to be this time next year?

Now is the time to really notice how you are. Find time to be with yourself so you can do some good quality noticing. As well as noticing how you are, what do you want? Notice any difference between the two. And what can you do to change the picture? That last question may take a while to ponder. I often find that a question like this brings some quick answers, but over time more fundamental responses will come, bubbling up from my subconscious bringing a sudden realisation that is so simple and obvious it’s remarkable that I hadn’t previously clocked it. Sometimes they bring memories of the previous time I had the realisation but hadn’t integrated it into life before it faded and fell back into the subconscious.

The best way to make change is to increase awareness so that you can make different choices

Now is a great time to begin to plan next year, but don’t start with the big business or income goals! You can layer those in later – doing them first is a form of soufflé planning, the stuff of fluffy dreams that can never come true.

Let’s begin with the pattern or rhythm to your year. Where are your U-curves of activity and rest?

Where will you be socialising, playing and holidaying? And what about your business activities, do they match your annual rhythm? If not, now is the time to get serious about your life. Can your relationships and your health continue to support you being out of step with your natural rhythm? I have a cautionary tale about taking five months to recover from pneumonia. Pneumonia, an illness of old people right? I was in my forties and super busy ignoring my body. Don’t be like me. Seriously.

In business there are times for planning and times for doing

If you are going to be truly sustainable in your work, there is no choice but to work with your natural cycles, rhythms as well as your natural strengths and talents. Doing in midwinter is not a good way of working because it is inherently unnatural. Instead, rest in the pause. Gently sort things out, clear down the scatterings that fell out of the previous busy work periods. Connect with people who matter. This is the time to be building your capacity by resting and connecting.

We naturally begin to turn towards more activity as Twixtmas rolls by, that time where days and dates are interchangeable and confusing. Instead of ‘hitting the ground running’ on the 2 ^nd of January, keep going with the gentle activity.

Lean back into the questions of how you want things to be by the week before Christmas next year.

What is different? And what needs to become different now in order to make things sustainably different next December?

What steps must happen during the year? When?

What about client commitments? Ours are triple aspect businesses: client work, work on the business and the work of the business. How will all of that happen?

Now, what is possible in the timeframe? What needs to take longer? What will you delegate or outsource? What needs to be let go of?

And how will you be taking care of your most valuable business asset (you) in amongst all of this?

Planning is iterative

In my many years of working with not-for-profit organisations, I saw many a smart strategic plan, sitting on a shelf, neatly bound and looking all glossy and pretty after a consultant-facilitated Board Away Day. Such plans are never touched.

The very best plans are dog eared, coffee stained, and ever evolving

The vision is strong, but the steps between here and there might change as more detail is understood. It is only once the details become clearer that tools like spreadsheets, Gantt charts and Trello can be effectively utilised. Used too early and it’s just another form of soufflé planning and fluffy dreaming. Spending time tinkering with these tools is not a real step towards attaining the goals. It’s just exhausting yourself at your desk. You would be better having an actual break, going for a walk, doing a sudoku or watching a bit of trashy telly with a nice cup of tea. Yes, trashy TV is definitely better for you than doing pointless pseudoadmin at your desk. Don’t you have enough business admin to do without inventing pretend admin?

Talking of trashy TV and other gentle activities, Twelfth Night is a great time to begin to intentionally pick up the pace again. Revisit the embryonic plans and get even more detailed about what business activities will be happening, when and what resources will be required, then get increasingly sharp about January and part of February, and even sharper about next week.

And that’s the way to roll through the rest of the year, checking in with your purpose, vision and the general plan. What to do next is then simply obvious.

All is left is for you to DO it; one 45 minute work session at a time

This, my friend, is how wild dreams are manifested and woven into reality. The actual magic is in the doing, one step at a time.

You can use this methodology at any point in the year: holidays, summer breaks, long weekend, on a walk. The scale and context might differ, but the principles will apply. As a purpose-inspired, changemaking person, you decide!

Wishing you well in 2025

_______

Would you like some support with any of your planning or doing in 2025?

Click the links below to explore and drop me a line at hello@smartprospects.co.uk if you want to talk about how I can help you.

Planning

I have workshops each quarter, beginning with:

9th January 9am - 1pm online

10th Januray 9am - 1pm at Stroud Brewery

Doing

Virtual coworking every Tuesday 9am - 12noon ( membership and PAYG options)

4 day Coworking retreats

Coaching

Work one-to-one with me

Free Resources

Links are in the menu

A quick vitality assessment - take the quiz to get your score

Finding purpose

Wed, 06 Nov 2024 12:32:25 GMT

...on challenging days like today

Oh my days. What a morning. It is grey here in the Cotswolds and has been for days. Yesterday it was foggy all day. Today the fog isn’t as thick, but it is sort of almost drizzling. And to top it all off, a long way to the west, across The Pond, an old tangerine coloured light has been re-lit.

Where were you when you found out?

It was 8am this morning and I was online, in a co-writing space, looking to get a jump on a very busy Wednesday. Collectively we were all sagging under the news. There were many emotions. None of them helpful. It was good to connect, but we were beginning to drag one another down. And we had work to get on with. Eurgh. It was an effort.

And that is what has inspired me to write this.

As purpose-inspired solopreneurs, we have work to get on with. We are running our businesses to help people. A change in President ‘over there’ merely becomes a fact that we have to deal with; just another aspect of ‘the art of the possible’ that we all have to work with.

Most of my regularly engaged audience are British and female. I’m reasonably sure that all of them, regardless of gender or country of origin, are feminists. There are plenty of reasons today to be glum about the potential shifts that are likely to affect us all. But none of us can influence that.

Using precious energy to change something we have no influence over isn’t very smart

Rather than eroding our capacity, what can we do instead?

We can connect with our purpose and use that to get clarity on our next set of actions. What do the people we help, need us to do? Probably they need us to look after our businesses, do our admin and deliver our services, just as we were doing up until we heard the news today. They also need us to look after ourselves, so we can do what we do, really well.

Also: it is in our gift to be the best version of ourselves as we go about our business.

In the face of our friends in America electing someone who has a differing motivations and life perspectives to us, what can we do?

By running our own businesses, there is much we can do and our best form of protest is to keep showing up and doing our brilliant thing to make a difference.

Whispers

Fri, 18 Oct 2024 08:50:17 GMT

What are they trying to tell you?

Have you heard about ‘whispers’, when you keep hearing the same name or topic crop up in a short period of time?

Recently for me ‘Preston’ has been cropping up every which way I turn, including when I’ll be one of the speakers at Michelle Thomas’ ‘Dream Builders and World Changers’ epic event on 1 ^st November. I don’t know what the Preston whispers are about, but I shall be interested to see if anything comes of them.

Then there are the little coincidences. The shut road that takes you on a diversion, so you stop to grab a sandwich and have a random conversation and find that you both know your mother (true story). Or you have a random conversation out on a walk, they suggest a book, and whilst attempting to buy the book, you have another random conversation with someone who knows someone that somebody else told you the month before that you need to meet, so they introduce you (another true story). Or perhaps you tried to organise a holiday in one place and it was like pushing water uphill, so you gave up and then another opportunity cropped up and it was easy so you did it, and then you discovered a new area that has become your go to place.

How about some timeline weirdness? There was that time that I ended up in the same pub as the Bath Uni biochemistry final year students as they celebrated the end of their exams. I hadn’t got the 'A' level results I needed to be with them on their course, so had gone to Hatfield Poly instead, yet there I was, in the same pub that I would have been. Disappointingly, nothing of any significance occurred, but it was a strange little port hole. Although, having written it down, and reflected on the many wonderful and significant things that occurred at Hatfield and the lifelong friends that I made, perhaps it was just a little confirmation everything was exactly as it should be.

What about whispers in relation to health? The ones hinting that ‘less is more’ would be a smart option right now? My embodiment coaching teacher and mentor, Mark Walsh talks about orange and yellow flags. We all know about the concept of red flags, but the softer colours are gentle hints that drinking some water and maybe a week of early nights might be in order. I get a bit clumsy (yellow) and stub my toes (orange). I also start losing things (train of thought, car keys, whatever I was just holding in my hand…). When the flags are getting redder, I start getting headaches more, and eventually infections. And I usually find that I get upset more easily, and less tolerant of other people. It’s not difficult to string together the cause and effect of it…

Listening to the whispers early is often helpful

I have had a couple of times in my life when I’ve been pressing on regardless, working really hard and persisting through numerous infections. A GP tried to sign me off work ‘you can try, but I’m self employed’ I proclaimed. She (Dr Dawn off the telly) quite rightly pointed out that this was the third course of antibiotics in as many months and asked what was really going on. I eased off a bit then but was soon back to my heroic ways and not letting people down. It was an attitude I drastically needed to readjust. But I didn't...

In late 2018 a cough I had been pretending wasn’t a thing developed firstly into a nasty chest infection and then swiftly segued into pneumonia. Pneumonia, I soon learned, is so much more than an infection – it is a whole system collapse where the single question becomes whether there is sufficient energy available for breathing. It’s a surprisingly peaceful experience (despite the pain). In conversation with a friend a few weeks later, she wryly commented, in that beautifully wise and softly insightful way that the Irish have, that my body had given up screaming at me to slow down and simply pulled the plug out of the power socket, leaving me with no choice but to stop. After a five month recovery, I hope I have finally learned that lesson.

Nowadays, I share that learning; it’s one of the key principles I weave into the vitality triangle and working well without burning out . It’s the whole ethos of ‘contributing with confidence’.

Whispers are generally best heeded while they are still quiet;

especially when they lead to fresh opportunities sooner, and richer living

Thinking back to times in your life when you have made big decisions, were there whispers? Or shouts? Were there coincidences? Have you got any current whispers?

Meditation practise is a great way to get quieter so the whispers can be heard more easily. For me, meditation is a great way of noticing. I’ve been practising for years, gradually building skills and learning a range of techniques, some more complex than others in terms of creating the right internal conditions. However, my favourite is waking naturally in the morning and listening to how the internal and external world is today. I’m fortunate to live in a quiet place, where there are trees and birds to see from my bedroom window. Other favourite meditation techniques include walking without music or podcasts and doing the washing up.

What are your favourite ways of getting quiet? And what are the whispers currently trying to tell you?

Real Costs

Sun, 06 Oct 2024 09:28:59 GMT

Are probably counterintuitive

If you’ve been following me or reading my stuff for any length of time, you have probably heard me say how much I love a counterintuitive thing. It’s faintly amusing, just how often we bark up the wrong metaphorical tree or are deeply averse to the person or solution which is just what we need.

Recently I have been having conversations about the real costs of things. I have also been noticing quite a few long form pieces of content online from both sides of the working on vs resting response to illness debate. And then... I was 30 minutes late for a meeting, thanks to HS2 and their random road closures and the way that the country lanes of Buckinghamshire have been physically broken thanks to the heavy traffic (as in huge lorries, as well as the volume) that has been forced to use them. I didn’t break the suspension on my car, nor did I wrack up dentistry bills from teeth gnashing and whilst we all know that this is a deeply flawed project, I will now need to travel on HS2 from London to Birmingham three times for me to get that time back.

The question I pondered as I tried to navigate my way with the map app enjoying ignorant bliss about the road closures all around, was:

What else has the disruption of building HS2 been costing business?

So, let’s get it out and have a proper look at it.

Do you ever do a cost benefit analysis on any of your decisions? I’m not talking about the obviously strategic business decisions, I’m talking about the many ordinary decisions made every day.

Obviously, it’s good that action is being taken, but what if some of those decisions are creating additional costs and unanticipated consequences?

What follows is my version of a cost benefit analysis. I haven’t done an MBA, but I have worked with people and development projects, funding & budgets for over a quarter of a century.

The first consideration is the obvious cost and benefit questions that arise from the choice before you: how much money do you have to pay; and what will you get out it? The combination of those two questions gives you a feel for how worthwhile actioning that decision will be.

But there is more insight to be gained by looking beyond the primary costs and benefits. Let’s say you have decided to attend an in-person event in London. The primary costs are likely to be entry to the event & travel. But there are more costs to consider: food & drink while you are out of the house; your time not working on income generating work tasks; energy, especially if you will lose sleep because you have to get up earlier than usual or you will have a late night.

In terms of benefits: there is the information or work progress that will come from attending the event. Secondary benefits might include: a day away from your desk giving you the creative thinking space to advance a great idea; the networking opportunities; the possibility of having a kismet moment of inspired conversation that leads to a collaboration; immersing yourself in the culture of the community in the event could bring you insight about a fresh way of working; you could set up a sales conversation. Or you could just have fun in good company, or use the opportunity to have dinner with a friend and come home smiling. What a great day!

Or the benefits could be more marginal, especially if the meeting involves spending time with people who drain you or the transport system brings clouds of anxiety. Perhaps it’s a low level priority which deprives you of time working on a higher priority project. In which case, are those benefits still benefits, or do they become costs.

What’s the reality? Where is the balance?

Is taking a day out of your normal activities going to be a cost or an investment?

We often see decisions being taking on the £ cost of doing something, for instance utilising a training budget. Hear the plumbers’ whistle from the senior decision maker as the cost of a training course is considered. But what would be the cost of not doing it? What does doing it really cost in terms of time and energy? Is paying for and doing the training a cost or an investment?

Or how about something leisurely? I had a great conversation in the sauna recently with someone enjoying their now generally sober lifestyle, having given up smoking a few years ago and now limiting alcohol to intentionally drinking something tasty on a nice occasion. It was a very positive conversation. Then they said that they were going to go into town with their partner and have a cup of coffee, with lashings of shame. Well that wasn’t what they actually said, but they did use words like ‘vice’, and ‘shouldn’t’ and the body language had gone from relaxed and expansive to apologetically shrivelled. I asked how often they drank coffee. Not often. And yes, it was seriously good quality and they were going to enjoy it. Coffee in moderation is a healthy and beneficial plant to drink. Moreover, sitting and enjoying a good quality cup in good quality conversation with your partner, is that really a vice and something to feel guilty about? I would suggest not. The person agreed that they hadn’t considered it from that point of view.

Sometimes, despite our initial assessment of something (or listening to the half baked opinions of others), activities are not a cost at all, but an investment. This person’s coffee drinking is clearly an investment in positive mental health and their bonding as part of a healthy significant relationship.

If you want to add an additional layer of consciousness to your decision making, key questions involve inquiring about the reality and truth of it. Pondering things from the other end of the telescope, from other people’s perspectives, or from a different point in time - will this really feel so heavy when you look back at it next year.

Do you know what this methodology is? It is a systems thinking approach to decision making: considering the broad factors, influences and consequences, within the environment of a situation. The 'situation' might be the business, or a period of time, or a project.

So, dear friend, having read this far, how much consideration do you give to your decisions? How much might that be costing you?! Or is this an already familiar way of being in life? Where could you give a little more? How might that benefit you? Is there greater mastery to master?

Enjoy playing about with it and do comment or drop me a message to share your thoughts, as this article is very much written from my point of view, and your perspective is interesting, and likely to help me build mine further because learning is a constant process, and just one of the reasons why I love life, because there is so much more to learn and experience.

Are You Afraid of Burnout?

Tue, 24 Sep 2024 10:34:53 GMT

We need to talk about it

For someone who is all about getting sh*t done, I can’t help noticing that there is an emerging theme over on the blog area of my website: rest and stopping more.

There is a reason for that and it’s the quickest topic for getting heads nodding in a room: B U R N O U T.

Or rather fear of burnout, that murky place beyond stress.

Once visited, it’s a place that nobody wants to return to, which ironically, adds a spiky layer of stress into already stressful periods of life.

There is a lot to unpack. I’ll be doing a follow up article looking at research into burnout, including 'The Burnout Report' , published in January 2024 by Mental Health UK.

The World Health Organisation defines ‘burnout’ as being work place based, but it is more than that.

There are three aspects to burnout:

Exhaustion
Increased mental distance & numbing in relation to work, often with increased negativity & cynicism
Reduced work speed & efficiency

To these, I’d add another. The inevitable way it will show up in the overwhelmed and exhausted body – increased acute infections, gradually getting more severe, with the emergence of chronic conditions. This is one of the reasons why I advocate stopping every hour, and not saving up the aaaaall the stopping for major illness and the inevitable months of recovery, like I had to do in 2018, that time I got pneumonia.

I first heard about burnout years ago. It was from a high flying city type who had cooked themselves being a yuppie working as a City trader. They had written an article about how they had had to go home to their parents and were unable to work or do anything meaningful for nine months. Living and working in the Oxford scientific research community, I was aware of similar experiences from Oxford students, fatigued from the stress of essay crises during their short eight week terms. This was clearly something for ‘those’ privileged, high flyer types. It seemed to particularly affect hard working women, the strivers and perfectionists striking out in a man’s world, underappreciated for their efforts.

Except it isn’t about gender, or privilege. It’s about lack of agency and lack of appreciation. In the less privileged, it shows up as people working themselves into an early grave, doing long hours in harsh working conditions for little pay. It’s not reported in the same way as this group are less likely to have friends who edit broadsheets.

Trauma plays a role too, especially if it is fresh, because it destroys resilience.

I came across a vivid metaphor the other day (a meme on Instagram, probably). Rather than pouring from an empty cup, try boiling an empty kettle. The stakes are so much higher! A wrecked kettle, cooker and a burnt down house. Pressing on regardless when experiencing unwelcome and unanticipated life events could burn you out. I know this from experience.

I got a sharp reminder recently when I was asked to help out with the immediate aftermath of my next door neighbour’s sudden death. It’s the flipside of being part of a community – the unquestionable stepping up to help those around us in their time of need. But there is a price to pay. Within a few seconds, my ability to sit down and work, or to sit and focus, became impossible. I had no choice but to stop. My training, personal practises and community of fellow embodiment coaches were all invaluable. But even with all of that, my capacity was non-existent, then minimal for several weeks.

Reflecting on this, and looking at The Vitality Triangle it is so obvious. With the ‘capacity’ corner of the triangle rubbed out, regardless of how purpose inspired any of us might be, or how well connected and supported we are, vitality is impossible.

How can we insure against burnout? Especially when the possibility of it is there, lurking in the background, because last time we worked hard like this, 'it' with all the associated pain and anguish, feelings of shame, guilt & failure etc happened…

Well, we could buy insurance (and yes, as a self-employed person, you should definitely have a chat with a suitably qualified personal finance person for income replacement cover).

That aside, we could get real. What is the truth of it?

What was going on last time for you?
What was your environment like (discussed in my article published on 8 ^th September 2024 )?
Were you working for someone?
What was the culture like?
Was it toxic capitalism of ‘go go go / sleep is for losers’ etc?
Did you take proper breaks?
Did you receive appreciation for our efforts? How often?
How were the people around you – supportive or back biting?

And are you still in that sort of environment? Run back through the list of questions to see how your current situation compares and to establish your current truth.

Let’s look back at the vitality triangle and consider this from the other end of the telescope:

With vitality and vibrancy, what you have instead is resilient productivity , and burn out becomes impossible.

Vitality and burnout are mutually exclusive

Given your lived experience, it is entirely reasonable and understandable if you are fearful that if you enthusiastically immerse yourself in this awesome, purpose-inspired project that is your business, burnout might happen again.

But you are not where you were back then. You have left that slow death ‘lifestyle’ behind.

Take heart that if you foster your vitality, you will not be on the path to burnout;

instead you will be on the lighter and brighter path to resilient productivity.

Favourite Film

Sat, 14 Sep 2024 11:46:35 GMT

...and the tale about how I got to watch one of mine one Friday evening in July

I hadn’t seen it for years, possibly over 20. Moulin Rouge. Baz Luhrmann’s from 2001.

Spectacular... on many levels.

In the last couple of years I have been yearning to see it again, even though I have the DVD and my laptop is such a 2012 classic (with majorly upgraded innards) that it has DVD capability. As you will know, if you have ever seen it, Moulin Rouge is not a small screen film (even though my laptop is big enough to have a numbers AND letters keyboard side by side, so the screen is pretty generous). But, no, watching it on my laptop was never an option.

I regularly search Netflix in vain (and slowly because of the ridiculous letter selection function) for both Moulin Rouge and The Grand Budapest Hotel. All year round cheesy Christmas films with identical plots, yes. Favourite films, not so much.

But something happened one Thursday night in July, which meant that one Friday I got to see it.

Thursday 4 ^th July 2024. It was just before 10pm. I was deliberating which news channel to use to watch the general election results. I tend to avoid the news nowadays – too often it is just political commentators speculating and rarely any actual interviews with people doing the newsworthy things. Plus it’s all so fearful and anxiety inducing, and quite frankly, life is too short.

I have been described as an activist in the past, probably because I was one. I used to take an avid interest in politics. I used to watch Question Time every week. I took time to study the Cabinet. I have gone to Westminster to lobby my MP, in person, on more than one occasion. But in recent times, frankly our politicians weren’t listening. For the first time ever, I did not make time to meet my last local MP. I did write emails a couple of times but all I got was crickets… so I quietly detached myself, understanding that no amount of me being agitated would translate into effective action. And as we should all instinctively understand, like a normal person entering a Strongest Man competition and attempting to pick up a car, not being able to change a situation, but persistently trying anyway, is the proven path to a mental health injury.

So I found myself dejectedly trying to choose which channel to watch. I didn’t bother with the BBC – one of their political crew is just known as ‘Smugsberg’ in our house. I had got as far as ITV, only to discover that they had a politician who is currently under investigation (with police, arrests & other drama) and another one who was responsible for very straightened times in this single parent household. The other one was someone who I had had nil respect for when in office but does seem like quite a nice guy, now he’s out of frontline politics.

I didn’t continue searching because the results of The Exit Poll were being announced. That was pretty disheartening, firstly because it said that Reform would get 13 seats, and secondly because the political commentator journalists were very, very excited about that. I had got as far as beginning to consider whether to continue, given that the other major feature of the Exit Poll was a Labour landslide, or just go to bed instead? But I do enjoy election night, dozing on the sofa and people watching. So I was in two minds because there were the political commentators…

Suddenly, there was no decision to make. My freedom of choice was taken away from me

Clearly my elderly Freesat box couldn’t stomach watching it either. It quietly expired. I went to bed.

Friday 5 ^th July. What a day! What news to wake up to! Landslides, wipeouts and 4 Green MPs!

Although, there were other emotions too. Now the prospect of continued descent into illegal forms of government and law making were lifted, I was experiencing something of a hangover. I hadn’t appreciated the burden of fear I had been carrying around since Johnson, Rees Mogg et al had taken over, or rather whoever it was that was running the project / heist. There was anger too. I had to take myself off and do quite a lot of embodiment practise, to understand what I was experiencing. A LOT of anger and fury, with quite a generous side helping of grief. I think it will take a bit of time to work it out of my system. It is not like flicking a switch.

I was also trying to work out if I could live without TV. We were then currently mid-Tour de France. One of the greatest joys in July and working from home is to be able to invite the countryside of France into my house. Yes, in July, I am generally working from the Alps, or fields of sunflowers, pretty villages or sometimes (although not this year), the streets of Paris. And no, watching on the desktop screen isn’t for me either.

And that, after a short trip across Stroud to Argos, is how I found myself plugging in a brand new Freesat box.

My familiar but geriatric, recently deceased, box had had its functions gradually reduced in recent years, leaving me with TV and access to Netflix and iPlayer. It had never had a particularly busy screen of thumbnails (which suits me nicely anyway – busy home screens are incredibly difficult for me to interact with). The enfant Freesat Box is very busy in the home screen department.

But the first and biggest thumbnail image on iPlayer was, joy of joys, Moulin Rouge.

And what a delicious and perfect way to spend Friday evening, working off a weird political/life existence hangover, than to step into the colourful and full sensory experience world of Baz Luhrmann.

I had forgotten just how delicious it was. The superb use of music. The colours. The transformation of Percy the Park Keeper (back in 2001 his videos were a favourite option in our house). I had also forgotten about Percy the Park Keeper (he's not on Netflix either, I don’t think?!).

I had forgotten about Kylie, the naughty little green absinthe fairy.

I had forgotten just how sad the ending was, how futile those few weeks were.

I had forgotten how Luhrmann portrays these trapped women – and how he celebrates them, their beauty, strength and resilience.

I hadn’t forgotten that ‘Roxanne’ was my favourite part of the film, but I had forgotten just how powerful it was.

I had forgotten the quote:

“The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.”

And now on Sunday morning, I have woken up and (this is the measure of great art for me) there are echoes of it still in my mind, remembering snippets of it, in a delicious haunting. So much so, that I got up and began writing this before breakfast. And outside, because this weekend it is both Wimbledon and Silverstone (and a couple of gliding competitions to boot), the rain is coming down like stair rods - oh to be in England now that summer is there. I may light the fire and watch Moulin Rouge again…

But mostly, I am left with this sentiment, from the ramshackle bunch of bohemian dreamers, the children of the revolution:

“Truth. Beauty. Freedom. But most of all… Love.”

What else is there?

Environment Matters

Sun, 08 Sep 2024 06:14:49 GMT

Well obviously, but more specifically, YOUR environment matters

I’m a noticer. I notice all sorts of oddities and patterns. The information gathered isn’t always useful, but sometimes it is.

Recently I have been noticing the apparent spike in ADHD diagnoses in women.

Sometimes I am totally scathing about new patterns, especially if there is a whiff of bandwagon or media hysteria. So that’s what I was doing with this ADHD ‘guff’ – it felt like yet another way of labelling older women with something now that it’s less easy to just say ‘menopause’ without taking any helpful action. (And yes, as with many things that I am initially resistant to, because resistance is where the gold is, I am now in the process of obtaining an assessment) … anyway…

I was talking to my daughter about it. Many of the 'quirks' of an ADHD person are highly valuable. It’s not about it being a problem, it’s about how exhausting it is squashing into all the categorised and ordered boxes, the emails, the communications systems etc. The expected ways of behaving and communicating…

the environment is wrong

ADHD – the power of noticing things, and understanding patterns of systems (e.g. weather, early signs of disease) would have been extremely helpful in ensuring the crops and animals thrived when humans converted to farming, for instance. Ditto – hunting and gathering. Also scientific research.

And then I began noticing other things, in conversations with clients about their work. One in particular, had been having a nightmare with a new work situation. There were the classic early signs of dis-ease, and it was clear that they would ‘fail to thrive’ in such an environment. No amount of embodiment work was going to polish that one out! Remaining would have been harmful and was likely to result in a significant mental health injury.

Noticing is what helped me to distil The Vitality Triangle (TVT) as the key to sustainability at individual, project and organisation level. To be truly sustainable, a sparkle of vitality is required. TVT is a triangle finely balanced on the point of purpose, with the top two corners being capacity and connection. If we want to enjoy living and working well, we need to have three strong corners on our TVTs.

I was gently pondering these converging conversations, whispers and evidence when suddenly it hit me. There’s a fundamental missing element in my TVT – the environment.

That was quite the face palm moment! As someone who has formally studied systems thinking, how could I have overlooked it?! Doh. When pondering a system, to begin to make sense of it, usually because it is multilayered, messy and complex, the first step is to draw a line or boundary around the situation of interest. We can get different information and perspectives by drawing lines around different layers. I’ll show you what I mean. Grab a pen & paper (or a spare finger) and draw a circle.

Where does your attention go? (This exercise will work better if you say ‘inside’…).

But in drawing that circle you have also defined the area outside the circle – the environment that the circle sits within.

As adult humans, we often mentally use our skin to define where we stop and the rest of the world begins. But we can draw the line around different layers; the mind in our head, for instance (although is that too small if we don’t include our gut?). Or we can draw bigger lines (boundaries) to include us within our family, or home, or country. Each gives us a different situation of interest and perspective on how we act and interact. And outside each line is the environment that the situation of interest sits in.

We must pay attention to our environment

There are few aspects of formal project management that I still use, but I do find a SWOT analysis helpful. Or more accurately, the SWOT/C analysis. It’s a quick way to assess the lie of the land. Strengths & weaknesses are about you, the project or organisation, whereas opportunities & threats are about the environment. Constraints are the things that are just a fact of life that we need to work with. Usually they are about access to resources. Sometimes a constraint will shift to an opportunity or threat, but usually, constraints are in ‘The Art of The Possible’ territory, a condition to work with, or despite.

When it comes to our environment, we can engineer situations to improve, or work differently. We can get better at tending to our personal environment by understanding what our felt senses of ‘Yes’ and ‘No’ are. Sometimes we simply need to remove ourselves – without apology or explanation. By paying attention to our environment, we can build our awareness to help us make higher quality decisions, and to better understand our boundaries.

Environment matters

Timing for retreats

Wed, 14 Aug 2024 07:57:50 GMT

and why it matters

My first meditation retreat weekend began the Friday after the 2010 general election. It was a glorious weekend in May, that time of year when all the new leaves on the trees are oozing chlorophyll. That evening our meditation teacher explained the retreat principles of not discussing politics or what we do for a living. Eeek! We were mainly British and suddenly floundering with only the weather as a conversation opener. At that point in time, after dinner on a warm evening in May, we were also on a political cliff hanger. With no outright winner of the election and we had no idea who the Prime Minister was. This was important and yet I was being asked to drop it. It felt like a big deal. There have been a few points since then when I’ve been on retreat and not known who the Prime Minister is in the outside world, but that’s a whole other set of stories…

What is a ‘retreat’?

For me, it is a trip to do a specific and focused set of activities involving a stay away from home and a break from my usual, habitual, activities.

I’ve been on many others over the years: gliding, business, embodiment, Buddhist teachings, writing. They’re not always called ‘retreats’, sometimes they are ‘intensives’, or ‘courses’.

Going on a retreat doesn’t just happen, the conditions need to be right

Before the retreat I have to book my place. For that to happen, I have to know:

this is something I want to do;
it will be led well and the leader knows what they are doing;
it will be worth my time and money; and (crucially)
that it will be useful to me afterwards.

Having the right conditions for glorious experiences

There is another thing that seems to happen with retreats. Sometimes I want to go, but ‘something’ occurs to foil my plans. At other times, everything lines up last minute and I find myself setting off on just the right thing with only a few days’ notice. Or perhaps I had a set of coincidental conversations and meetings, one of those times when the true nature of ‘random’ becomes highly questionable. As you may know, I don’t have a strong belief in predetermination, or the idea that our marionette strings are being pulled by some higher life force, but there are times when the random and haphazard bring glorious experiences. I do love random and haphazard.

Of course, we can do the groundwork for ‘magical manifestation’, making things less random and haphazard by having an actual plan, taking action and applying ourselves to the actual work.

And so it is with retreats

After seeing an opportunity to go on a retreat and realising it will serve us well, we must create the conditions for a glorious experience. We have to make all the practical arrangements so that we can attend and fully participate. When we get home, we need to implement the realisations and learnings. It is never ‘going back to normal life’ it is about having a new, more skilful way of being and acting when engaging in our normal, habitual, activities.

But at the very beginning, the original initiative for a retreat, that would be the organiser letting us know the opportunity to attend exists so we know what is being offered and can work out whether it is something that will be useful, helpful, enjoyable, potentially glorious.

And this is where I have let you down…

Pondering this yesterday, I realised that I have been rubbish at promoting my coworking retreats (and I certainly haven’t been pestering people in the DM inbox). Well, I already knew I had been rubbish at promoting, but the impact for others is what I realised.

I need to apologise because this has made it difficult for you to work out whether it might be for you

What are my coworking retreats all about?

The purpose is for you to make faster progress with a specific aspect of your business. It’s probably a project that you haven’t been getting to because of the client work, and all the admin etc. It might be writing a new training program, developing a new product, working on a book, writing copy – anything where you can quietly work on your laptop in the company of others.

4 days (3 nights) fully catered at a 4* spa hotel; focused deep work time; R&R time.

How would you use that time?

To help you make the best use of those precious few days, there will be a coaching session before & after the retreat, and a planning session to make sure you are accurate with your intention setting.

We will be utilising the principles of The Vitality Triangle framework . The idea is that on my retreats you will get lots of work done, whilst also recharging your batteries, hence the 4* spa hotel in the Lake District. I’ve planned the programme to balance the focused work time with free time for whatever rest & re-creation you need.

People who commit to one of my coworking retreats have made a significant investment of both time and money – that drives my commitment to my retreatants.

My role is to help you achieve your intentions and keep your honourable promises to yourself.

I will be facilitating the coworking sessions to minimise distraction

This includes being able to set work intentions and share progress silently. I’ll be on hand to help you field any self sabotaging and other self imposed distraction activities that your protective, more anxious self (Fear) might bring along. In ‘Big Magic’, Elizabeth Gilbert talks about Fear being the conjoined twin of Creativity, and how Fear will always be invited along for the ride on the creative road trips. But not anywhere near the maps, radio or steering wheel.

Fear often has some interesting perspectives, but there's a time and a place. Part of my role as retreat leader is to help you keep Fear proportionate in your creative process.

To give yourself the clear headspace necessary to retreat, my retreats run Tuesday – Friday so that you can attend to work, scheduling posts, delegating tasks etc on the Monday.

The people I work with are passionate about their work, they’re inquisitive, they take an interest in others, and they love learning. They’re capable, busy, interesting people. They’re often good at talking about all sorts of things beyond work or the weather.

On my retreats, I hope that you will enjoy meeting new people. But this is not a house party. There is no obligation to socialise – my priority for you is that you take what you and your business need most.

I need to ‘fess up a little more…

Whilst there are some bookings I have to make a decision by the end of the month about the venue. If you are considering booking, please message me ASAP and before Friday 23 ^rd August. ASAP is best (especially if you might appreciate a 20% discount code).

The Earlybird rate of £1900 is available until 20 ^th August, as are payments in two instalments.

On 28 ^th August I will have to make my venue decision based on the numbers of bookings. So if you are considering it, or have questions, please do make contact. As you can guess from my promotion style, I am not going to be hounding you for coercive sales conversations – this is about establishing whether my retreat is what you and your business need.

If it is, I will be delighted to support you to be even more awesome with what you do.

Fulfilment for me is seeing others thrive.

Need more info?

All the details are over on the 'Coworking Retreat' page. Please do share with anyone else you know who might be interested.

Or you can message me or book a call to discuss your work to help you work out if it really is for you

Summering

Tue, 06 Aug 2024 11:34:27 GMT

a bit like 'wintering', but equally neglected

I’ve just had to pull stumps on a weekly activity.

As part of my ongoing embodiment coaching supervision, I’m part of Mark Walsh’s ‘Embodiment Apprenticeship’ mentoring programme. We are learning lots across the dual aspects of our practices: the embodiment coaching practise; and our coaching practice as a business. We are also encouraged to contribute to the group. My contribution is to facilitate coworking space on Tuesday evenings, so that we have space to implement what we’re learning. I love it. But it does take energy. Plus it’s an additional weekly commitment.

Yesterday evening I realised that I needed to 'summer' it for a few weeks.

With the long summer evenings, and as the long school holidays loom, a key part of the British cyclic year, you might be noticing this calling too. This is natural. We’re not machines and like all things in nature (even rocks), we ebb and flow.

There’s even a song about it ( ‘Turn, Turn, Turn’ by the Byrds):

To everything turn, turn, turn

There is a season turn, turn, turn

And a time to every purpose under heaven

What does this mean in relation to us, and our work? Every project and activity has a beginning, middle, and end. And then a pause.

The pause is necessary for reflection and integration.

We do this all the time, without thinking about it. Every living moment of our lives we are breathing, in and out. Would it surprise you if I told you breathing is a four-phase activity? There is a pause after each in and out breath. Winter is generally the pause after the autumnal out breath, spring is the in breath, and summer is the pause when the lungs are full. Bringing attention to the breath is often an anchor for the mind in meditation. Making each of these four phases equal (for a count of 4 or 5) is a classic meditation exercise, with different experiential responses with each of the phases, thanks to the differing levels familiarity, ease and comfort for each part of the cycle.

The same applies to any seasonal activity, including the seasons – we all have our favourites and aspects of each we welcome or find challenging. I saw a question in a Facebook group this week, someone raised in a hot country asking for tips about how to deal with the rain, specifically questions about the use of wellies. July 2024 has mainly been spectacularly wet.

Summering then is a bit like ‘wintering’, but more active. You might have felt the hedgehoggy, internal, indoorsy snuggle of January, which is about resting and replenishing in order to have greater levels of energy as the days lengthen.

In summer, as well as resting, it is about taking time to enjoy ourselves and the abundance around us, before the busy days of harvest and autumn kick in. Even though we don’t have to harvest, preserve and store our food nowadays, we do still have a sense of work urgency ahead of the midwinter break in normal working habits. Winter is still something we need to prepare for in order to get through it; a key part of working well is to understand when we need to pause for some R&R [rest and recreation].

And here we find the kernel of it.

Recreation is re-creation.

Enjoy your summer!

The Irritating Email Poll

Tue, 11 Jun 2024 08:55:13 GMT

...and the insight it inspired

I was browsing LinkedIn last week and noticed that many posts were polls (I must have missed the memo about the latest trending thing) and there was one in particular that irritated me.

I do like an irritation because it’s usually a great sign that there’s something interesting going on, something that will benefit from a little curious investigation. In this instance, I found a fundamental whopper of a realisation! And the realisation is also slightly counterintuitive (and as you may know, I love a counterintuitive thing much more than finding an irritation).

The poll was asking about the state of our email inbox and our attitudes towards it. The implication was that to have an unsorted inbox was a bad thing.

I have an unsorted inbox. I run rules to sort the emails that matter into folders. But I don’t seem to ever find the time to go through the remaining emails. Maybe I could delete them, but since I was forced to go to Outlook last year thanks to the way that The Big Two were making emails from my Google verified domain undeliverable, I have found that very often emails that matter to me don’t get sorted the way I have instructed (the rather more expensive) Outlook to sort them. Pffft. More irritation…

Actually if I dwell on this for too long, I may become Incandescent. Irate. Incensed. Oooo, that’s quite a satisfying bit of alliteration.

I digress.

The point is, there wasn’t an option in this poll that said something like ‘I have better things to do in my life than tidy my inbox’ .

Brendon Burchard maintains that your email inbox contains everyone else’s priorities - more, it is an organisation system for other people’s priorities.

I concur and add my observation that often the email inbox is a receptacle of things that have been bounced off someone else’s desk, or out of their inbox so they can achieve clean desk / inbox zero. Despite their urgent appearances, the senders would prefer us not to reply instantly. Often these new emails are not useful or valuable. Their function? Feeding the inbox monster.

Brendon suggests only going to it when you need to acquire information for your work, or you need to request something from others, in order to make progress with your work.

Most of us have yet to build such ideal working conditions. We work with people who also have work to progress, so we can’t expect it to all go our own way, but can we collectively raise the bar?

How could the quality of our lives improve if we all adopted a lax approach to our inboxes?

What if instead of being a slave to them, we use them only as a tool to advance our work, and to support the higher quality work of others?

And for setting up Zoom coffee meet ups with people we like, obviously.

Breakdown

Wed, 08 May 2024 13:11:06 GMT

... is it always bad?

I have a bad habit. Well, many, actually. This one in particular is scrolling more than I ‘should’…

Whilst scrolling, I see many quotes and memes. Using social media as a form of moving wallpaper means that despite things passing in front of my eyes, I don’t always see much. However, last week something landed, captured some thoughts and it’s been niggling away gently:

"breakdown is breakthrough"

I don’t know if that is exactly what was written, but it is what is remembered. And I have no idea who posted it, nor where they got it from. I have chucked it into a search engine and there is no such quote, so I don’t think I am missing an attribution - let’s get stuck in.

Firstly, how am I interpreting ‘breakdown’ ? An enforced, unplanned, sudden stop in normal daily activities.

I don’t know about you, but I’ve had a few over the years. I’ve recently experienced a mini version, having picked up a Spring lurgy which wouldn’t go away until I stopped. Properly.

The reason why that meme has burrowed under my skin a little is because it coincided with the mini breakdown, and it has prompted thought. There is a pattern.

Each time there have been hints about the need to slow down. If I don’t heed them, the inconvenience gets greater, like that time I eventually got floored by pneumonia, which required five months of recovery time. It’s got me wondering, is breakdown another version of whispers (the coincidental hints that crop up from overheard snippets of conversations, the car radio, random signs etc), where the whispers have had to resort to yelling?

But there’s an upside to these enforced stops. They create a negative space for something else.

All great art, architecture, storytelling and theatre requires negative space. I believe that the great art that is our lives, is no different. Take the day I began writing this article, noting ‘Hooray, I am better! And my creativity is like a fresh horse, very excited to be out – there is so much to do and see, and much bucking.’

It was a bit of a handful to be honest.. That day I began three articles, sketched notes on another five ideas, with a bit of brainstorming to get some of the other ideas out of my head and down on paper as bullet points. Ideas were pouring out of me faster than I could catch them.

Now it’s settled for a couple of weeks I can also see that my understanding of my business has gone up another gear too, I’ve gone up a level and the opportunities that are coming to me have shifted a little too – invitations to speak, and so on.

Every time I have had a major mini breakdown, something new has happened. Twenty years ago, I stubbed my little toe and broke it. A few months later there was a car crash (whiplash injuries). Both resulted in trips to hospital, x-rays and time unable to function normally. It was in the run up to a major life change. Perhaps you experienced something of this phenomenon in March 2020? For me, lockdown forced me to engage with the concept of online and digital businesses. In both instances, what happened after the enforced stop was a natural progression. If I’m being honest, what happened next should have happened before, I was just being very good at taking the path of perceived least resistance, maintaining the status quo, for the illusion of a quiet life.

Who was I kidding?!

In both cases, (all three if we include the pneumonia episode), the status quo was taking huge amounts of energy to maintain. I was much better off once I explored the new way that was foisted on me.

Which gets me to wondering, if stopping eventually becomes inevitable, perhaps the thing that we secretly wish for does too? Will it inevitably find a way of us doing it? If yes, that leaves us with two choices:

do it ASAP; or
get forced to stop, causing great inconvenience and potentially blowing up important parts of our lives, and then do it.

I don’t know, I’m just philosophising out loud here… maybe you’re philosophising now too, and coming up with different ideas?

And I am reminded once more of one of my favourite quotes:

“One does not discover new lands without consenting to lose sight of the shore for a very long time.”

André Gide

That’s the thing with being forced to stop, and then scrolling until something jumps out at me, and being a bit ADHD / systems thinkery, I do enjoy adding two to two. And then I add some more, and link them to other ones, like the role of purpose and capacity in our considerations of how and when we choose what we do.

If we only have limited time and energy, how do we deploy them to the best effect? What if we explore the secret dreams and wishes? What might happen then?

What do you think?

About time

Tue, 09 Apr 2024 06:55:45 GMT

Time. How do you get on with it?

Does it work for you?

Or is it the other way round with you usually on catch up, out of synch with lingering feelings that you might have missed something. Do you do that thing where you think you can squeeze in another task… or perhaps to be on the safe side, you stop and wait so that you don’t end up being late.

It turns out that ‘time blindness’ is a real thing and refers to a difficulty in accurately perceiving the passage of time and estimating how long tasks will take to complete. Individuals who experience time blindness may struggle with planning, time management, and meeting deadlines. This phenomenon is often associated with conditions such as attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) and other neurodevelopmental disorders.

Importantly, despite that fact that it can affect anyone to some degree, few people talk about it.

It sounds more than a little judgy, ‘time blindness’ , as if people are beyond help and there appear to be a lot of labels associated with it. How about time myopathy? Could we use that as a concept instead?

The reality is that we are all time travellers, surfing time as best we can. Some countries and cultures pay more attention to time than others. I’ve always been curious about the border between France and Germany, with their contrasting cultural attitudes to the importance of punctuality. Time is relative anyway, and there are even places on the planet, like the top of Mount Everest, where time is measurably slower. It is only recently that we have had the means of measuring time to such granular, atomic detail.

There are generally two ways that we, the time myopic, fall foul of time:

getting so engrossed we lose track of time

inaccurately assessing the length of time required to complete individual tasks

The former is also known as ‘flow’ and for some on the quest for fulfilment, ‘finding your flow’ is a bit of a grail. Yet it can also lead to unhealthy habits and a pain in the neck from spending too long in front of your screen without adequate breaks. Do that too often and you are on the road to burnout… this can be avoided by setting a timer and as Brendon Burchard says ‘regardless of what zone of genius you are in when the alarm goes off’ , stop, move, breathe and take a 10 minute no screen, no desk break.

The latter... I have no answers. I can only gaze in awe at the people who say they can predict how long it will take to work through their to do list.

So I have a different tack – building awareness so I can make better choices .

Before I set the timer for a work session, I decide how I will spend that time. When the alarm goes off, I look at what I achieved and use the information about what I didn’t get done to set a more accurate intention for the next work session. Over time (accidental pun, sorry, not sorry) it is working, and I am generally getting more accurate with my intention setting.

Unfortunately, this system fails when I am not so honest with myself about: what I need to do; what is involved; or that the next task needs to be researched, before I embark on it.

Like most adults, I am still very much a work in progress.

Here is what I do know about promises

When you set an intention for a work session, you are making an honourable promise to yourself.

If you break that promise (repeatedly), then you are teaching yourself that you can’t rely on yourself. Feelings of guilt, shame and despondency could easily follow. Confidence will wither.

However, start keeping those honourable promises to yourself, then increasing feelings of self-reliance and self-confidence will follow. Yes, that’s right, you can do that for yourself!

Now that you know, is it acceptable to continue to deny that for yourself?

Ouch!

As with all challenging self-development questions, try pretending that you are in conversation with your best friend to see if it is a reasonable question to ask. If it passes the ‘best friend test’, you can take the logical (and tiny) next step and ask yourself that question.

And go easy – this self-love malarkey is quite challenging, especially if you usually do what you can to make sure you’re last in the queue for your love and attention.

Purposeful decision making

Tue, 23 Jan 2024 11:51:27 GMT

How could that help you?

If you want to take better quality action, there’s one question you should be asking...

Purpose. What would it mean to use it to inform your decision making? How often do you do that already? Do you notice? So many questions… including… is ‘purpose’ sometimes a mis-used term, a way of creating a sense of lack or eroding self-trust and self-confidence so that people feel compelled to buy a course, a book or some coaching? Are you weary of hearing coaches talk about a Life Purpose? Does the concept of a ‘One Life Purpose’ de-motivate you? I know it has done for me in the past. It just seems like such a big deal, weighty and significant. Huge. Can’t function properly unless you know what it is. Sigh.

Well, I’m not talking about *that* today. If you’re a slightly frazzled, home-based, often solo working entrepreneur or freelancer, you have enough on your plate already. How do you feel about having a greater sense of confidence, and greater clarity for your decision making instead?

What does purpose mean?

Let’s begin rather nearer the beginning and define ‘purpose’ . According to the Cambridge English Dictionary, it’s a noun meaning ‘why you do something or why something exists’ . I love this definition. I think it provides a great working definition. I also read the pronunciation instruction (purr puss) which tickled me because it made it sound like stage direction for a cat.

But there’s more! Other meanings include: ‘a need’ ; ‘a use’ (gloriously straightforward).

Then there are these two, highly relevant to those of us who do what we do to help others: ‘if you do something on purpose, you do it intentionally, not by accident’ ; and ‘determination or a feeling of having a reason for what you do’ .

Yes indeed, the purpose of talking about ‘purpose’ in relation to decision making in this article is to help you to bring greater intention to your actions, so that you feel good about what you do… which brings me to the final definition I want to share with you. It is from Victor Frankl in his 1959 book ‘Man's Search for Meaning’. Have you read it? It is only slim and it is brilliant. He doesn’t dwell on the traumatic reality of 1940s camp life, which was the concern that held me back from reading it. Frankl defines purpose as:

“…the pursuit of meaning and fulfilment in one's actions, contributing to a sense of satisfaction and accomplishment."

Boom. If we’re going to work well, this aspect really matters.

‘Purpose’ then answers the question ‘why are you doing that?!’ . Working from this start point, answering that question brings direction and intent and it boosts motivation.

Working Well

My work, and the way I support people like you, involves developing this and considering a couple of frameworks and concepts where purpose is central to working well.

Purpose, together with capacity and connection is one of the corners of The Vitality Triangle, because sustainability requires vitality.

When we make decisions, it is really important that we also consider our capacity to do that thing well too. I wrote a whole article on vitality for sustainability and using The Vitality Triangle framework, which you might find helpful.

Secondly, if we think about the manner of getting a big thing done, a project or a major goal, we need a plan and a direction of travel across the many stepping stones from here and now to there and then, when it will be complete. Building on the ‘why are you doing that?!’ question, will doing that thing help you towards achieving what you need to do to?

Notice too how we are now considering ‘need’ rather than ‘should’ because if there is any shoulding going on, it is rarely about your needs.

Coming back to you and your work, why do you do what you do?

How often do you consider that wider purpose when planning an individual work session? Do you think forward to how it will be when the goal is achieved or a project is complete and how you will feel, seeing it in action? Tapping into that felt sense of completion boost the aspiration and can really help with intentional decision making, keeping your chosen tasks and actions closely aligned to ‘why you are doing that?’.

What would it mean to you and your work to use purpose more often to inform your decision making?

If you would like to delve a little deeper into this topic, to get even more clarity about your purpose I created a free purpose checklist to help you work with greater strength of purpose and elevate your entrepreneurial or freelance journey with practical tools designed for success. Sign up now - it is available for immediate download.

Reflections on a year of "DO to BE"

Sat, 09 Dec 2023 21:10:20 GMT

Time, space & camaraderie for purpose inspired, home-based business owners to get stuff done, well

I love unanticipated change! And I have not been able to anticipate what “DO to BE” would be like.

That’s a joy. But it’s also part of the problem and something that new members comment on.

"DO to BE" isn’t like they thought it would be, which is perhaps also why I haven’t been very good at talking about it… Mostly it is about having the time and space to get on with the real work, giving people accountability and a sense of discipline.

It annihilates procrastination. We turn up, we get stuff done. Simples.

Except, it is rather more than that... light hearted, for instance.

“DO to BE” is a community of purpose inspired individuals who are working on projects that will make a tangible, sustainable difference for the people, places or species they care deeply about. It is about taking considered, purposeful action so together we can make a difference with greater confidence.

The whole point about “DO to BE” is that it is only by taking the action and DOing the key things, that we can BE the person who gets the results and achieve our aspirations and audacious ambitions. “DO to BE” is dedicated time and space to DO the necessary foundational work for the BE to come to fruition.

There is something about the setup which makes working hard invigorating. Productivity is boosted by using effective breaks and working in a supportive community – a group of people who are genuinely interested in how each person is doing and what they are up to.

Someone who recently joined said after their first session ‘I was so productive, yet I don’t feel drained. I got more done than I would have done on my own, and I feel ready to get on with the rest of my day. I wasn’t expecting the breaks to be so effective. I got loads done in the breaks too – I even did my washing up!’ At which point, one of the other members said, ‘and I bet you’ve never washed up so quickly in your life!’ . We all admitted that doing these sessions makes the household stuff easier and less effort too.

You see, the life of a home based business person often involves doing it all and having it all. Or rather not quite doing it all and often not having it all… it’s a bit like being a working mother with young kids, but without the obvious, visible reasons for being a bit on the frazzled side. It is also without the local community of other parents.

Running your own business can be an isolating experience. I don’t think we have to be this way.

I believe we can more fully enjoy our work - we can work sustainably and generate vitality as we go.

That’s why I started DO to BE: to work well, in good company.

Here are a few of the experiences of DO to BE over the last year:

One person used the time to follow up with sales communications, sending emails and messages to people who had expressed an interest in their next course. By the end of the morning’s session they had already generated several thousand pounds of bookings.

Often members making time to create and schedule content. It turns out that it’s a task that none of us really enjoy, even those with a formal training in marketing. But it needs to be done. So we regularly take advantage of the distraction free time and space to just do it.

A new member was working and feeling a bit chilly. They looked up, looked at the other people beavering away at their desks. She saw one of them wearing a fluffy dressing gown… so she got hers too and worked away happily ever Zooming after.

Admin. I fondly imagined people coming and writing books and other creative projects. Proper rosy coloured, romanticism. No. It’s more like to be admin. Invoicing. Accounts. Emails. Sales communications. Sometimes it is even sorting out insurance policies. Yep – anything is welcome, if it involves getting stuff done, and getting the niggly junk out of your head to create space for the creative activities. In “DO to BE” you set your own work tasks, like an actual business owner boss who knows what they need to do to get their sh*t done.

One member regularly uses the sessions for editing their monthly magazine.

I often do client work. And I use sessions for writing. And content creation…

And yes. We do usually talk about ‘getting sh*t done’. Sometimes it is dropped in the chat as an accomplishment: ‘I got sh*t done!’. ‘Yay!’, we all cheer, and high five or raise our half drunk cups of cold coffee in mutual celebration. It’s a brilliantly supportive group.

Generally, the third session goes much faster than the first – even though they are exactly the same duration! Why? I don’t permit chit chat during sessions. We silently drop our intentions and accomplishments into the chat, and we work in our own headspaces. We drop into the work period, and we drop deeper with each successive one. We are all deeply in flow. And as you probably know from experience, time evaporates when you’re in the flow. Parties; time with your favourite ones; co working: all of them proper time warpers!

So, how are things for you right now, in December 2023?

End of year pressure

I don’t subscribe to this. But here I am again, feeling the pressure of the looming Christmas break and all the things I ‘SHOULD’ have got done by now. That’s almost a whole string of bunting of red flags right there…

The appearance of ‘should’ is never a good sign, and something I encourage people to refrain from using. It’s a self-pressured BS sort of a thing. Will you do that thing? Or will you say ‘No’, or ‘Not Now’? Shoulding is a nothing, limbo situation and is not healthy – it is the very opposite of working well (in all senses).

Anyway, here we are in December, with the fate of all the great intentions of last January already cast, but we are on one final sprint to get things done before we turn our computers off for the break. (You will be keeping that promise to yourself, won’t you?)

We’re not designed to work in midwinter.

Wintering. It is a vital part of our cyclic natures. Look outside, much of nature is on tick over (or is underground in deep slumber) now.

Why is winter necessary? ... To make spring possible.

We are programmed to rest in winter too, which is why I don’t subscribe to the whole ‘end the year strong, hit the ground running in January’ hoo-ha. This is the time of year when we need to listen to our needs the most. That might be being highly sociable, or it might be enjoying some solitude – we’re all different, but I encourage you to take what you need over the next few weeks, so that your February and March are enjoyable too. Anyway, that’s the theory, but here we are in the reality of early December, with things to get done (yes, me too).

I have something which might help you with that!

Some free virtual coworking sessions. 9am-12noon on Zoom. Free sessions to help you get that stuff cleared down so you can properly rest.

And incidentally, it will help me to complete one of my aims for the year (and something I haven’t been very good at doing): showing people what the virtual coworking sessions are like. I reckon I have 3 remaining opportunities to do that in 2023.

· Tuesday 12 ^th

· Thursday 14 ^th

· Tuesday 19 ^th

What you get in these sessions:

· Distraction-free space to do your work.

· Encouragement.

· Accountability from the body doubling – with cameras on, you can see everyone else’s backside on their chairs as they apply themselves to working.

· A sense of connection because you aren’t working on your own.

· An embodied sense of achievement.

As one DO to BE member recently said, ‘I am so glad you lot were here, because otherwise I would have been lying on my sofa watching Homes under the Hammer, but instead I have written and sent that email I’ve been avoiding since last Friday’.

Do you want in?

Here’s the link. You will get an automated email with Zoom details (if it doesn’t appear, please email me – I am less automated, but I will get back to you…)

And if you turn up and try it and like it, there will be an early bird offer for signing up to join “DO to BE”.

If working this way doesn’t suit you (and it doesn’t suit everyone) then there is no obligation.

You can also turn up to all the free sessions with no further commitment – I just want you to get the things done so you can properly relax and enjoy the other part of December and early January, so that you can start 2024 well.

Don't take my word for it... try for yourself (and if you need to hear from somebody else first, check out the difference "DO to BE" has made for two of the regulars:

“DO to BE”? What is that?!

Thu, 26 Oct 2023 10:24:56 GMT

It’s an ideal antidote to procrastination,

poor accountability and low confidence…

It’s a space for good people to get good things done, well, and in good company.

“DO to BE” is an answer to the three main reasons why good people with good things to do, don’t: procrastination; poor accountability; and low confidence.

For the majority of my adult life, I have been supporting purpose inspired, changemaking people to spin their gossamer, glimmery ideas into being. Often these are ideas that cause others to state their negative opinions about how ‘it can’t be done’… Except with a purpose inspired person with a strong vision about the way their ideas will be changing the world, anything is possible.

I love working with the art of the possible, and it is the art of the possible which inspired my vision for how “DO to BE” can change the world.

The reality of life for many purpose-inspired business people is that they are good people with great ideas which will make a difference in the world. Yet they aren’t doing it, despite knowing logically, they can and will make that difference if they apply their backside to the chair and ‘just’ do the work. They are usually solo working in some way and often home based, so aren’t necessarily working in a community setting. Love or hate an office, it usually comes with a community.

Despite being generally optimistic, having a flexible outlook on life and enjoying learning, these good people are caught up in the dullness of low confidence and procrastination. They are tripping themselves up. Sometimes they are working hard on activities which don’t make much of a difference, so their progress is slower than they would like. And often they are tired.

I help these amazing people to get into motion.

To do that they need clarity about which action to take next, and why. They need time to take that action and they will do their best work with connection and a community of peers who are enthusiastic about their progress.

As a facilitator and coach, I am well placed to create a space for other people to get stuck into their work. I also wanted somewhere that gathers interested, inquisitive people who love learning and are quite happy to listen to alternative points of view. People who want to make a difference in the world are generally hopeful and I like having people like that in my life. So I began. I started hosting virtual co working sessions, and then my ideas suddenly came into focus and I created the membership community.

I called this community of positive and interesting people “DO to BE” because it is only by DO-ing that we are BE-ing the changemaker.

And incidentally, it is only DO-ing that we learn, so that’s a nice bonus and I like working in the bonus zone… (‘The Bonus Zone’ and ‘The Art of The Possible’, are two major drivers for me).

So how does “Do to BE” work?

“DO to BE” is mainly comprised of a weekly facilitated virtual coworking session. In this space people get stuff done and they come out of it with a sense of accomplishment and momentum. The way we work is powerful, getting people into flow quickly. Time flies in these sessions, but we get loads done.

It’s a bit more besides, but this is the main reason why people join. Every Tuesday morning, we gather at 9am on Zoom for three hours of distraction-free workspace. We consider our bigger pictures and then select the specific tasks, declare our intentions and then get on with it, cameras on and mics off to create the ‘body double’ accountability effect. As someone said the other week ‘it’s a good job my camera was on, or else I would have gone for a nice lie down instead’ . And we cheered them for staying put in the face of the pull of the sofa.

Sustainability is vital. In “DO to BE”, working well is a non-negotiable. There are work breaks every hour. At the end of each work session, after celebrating our achievements, we get up, move and bring attention to our breathing before having 10 minutes of no screens and no desks. Some people can walk quite a long way from their house in 4 minutes. Others clean. Others sit outside. Whatever they do, the aim is to replenish as we work.

We do all this without speaking much. This allows people to sink into their well of inspiration, without being distracted by whatever might be bothering other people that day. After 3 hours, and in reward for not chattering out loud earlier, we use the time between noon and 1pm to share news, ask questions and, if required, a have a bit of hot seat coaching from me.

Most importantly, we do all this without guilt or shame. There is no obligation to attend. This is working as adults in charge of our own lives – it is not about doing your homework before you go out to play or any other hangovers you might have from when you were a child.

This is a positive choice; a necessary and compelling disciplined practise, inspired by the long term benefits for other people.

This is working with joyful effort. We do this with laughter and encouragement.

Together we build our confidence and self-reliance and together we make faster progress. It is powerful.

What else do we do?

There are a few monthly activities. This is a space for networking with other members and finding out what they do and why they do it. I hope that collaborations between members will become a feature. We have a library of recordings of members chatting to me about what they do and why they do it. I am happy for people to buy from one another, but scraping contact details and actively selling to fellow members will get a rapid termination of membership. This is designed to be an eaze-y space to be part of.

At the end of each month we have a 3 hour co declutter session for clearing the decks and understairs cupboards, making space for the next month. Doing dull stuff in good company is a feature of the membership!

Each month I put together a training module of the skills that help people to work well and purposefully. I have two frameworks that I have devised, and these form the basis for everything in “DO to BE”: ‘The Vitality Triangle’ , and ‘From Here to There’. Both were devised from my development management experience in the not-for-profit sector, and both have their place in the purpose inspired business.

I use Circle as our platform for hosting the community and associated resources. Our space on Circle is ours – with no algorithm, no scraping of data and no adverts.

Annually there will be an in-person gathering of members, with members sharing their skills and wisdom to create an engaging and useful program of speakers.

I will be hosting three co working retreats each year. Four days of a mix of work, rest and play in a gorgeous setting and in good company. Running a business is hard work, and we need both the headspace for getting on with projects and replenishment and reward for working so hard and that's what the retreats are designed to provide.

Why Tuesdays?

Many people have Monday obligations: emails and meetings and bitty bits of work, attending to other people’s needs so that they can progress their work. Tuesday is nearly at the beginning of the week, so “DO to BE” members get some momentum for the rest of the week, whilst also being more likely to be able to get away with having a distraction-free morning than they could on a Monday.

In time, I may expand to other parts of the week, but the aim of the game is working sustainably for me too, so for now virtual coworking will only happen on a Tuesday morning.

I have been running this space for a year now

I have no idea how that year went so quickly! In this last year I have noticed that people generally use this space in two ways: doing the necessary work ON their business; and progressing projects.

This week for instance, one person used the time to write client proposals and write some emails for existing clients. Another person usually uses this time to create and schedule their social media posts each week, but this week they were planning 2024. They said that they have never, ever planned a year before, and it felt really good to have the bones sketched out before the end of October half-term. They also said that what they really appreciate about “DO to BE” is that it forces them to make a decision about WHAT they will do next, and then they have no option but to take action on that decision. The benefit for them is this is the complete reverse of how they would be working if left to their own devices. Well, they wouldn’t be working as such, more prodding about with a few things, not actually DO-ing what they need to do to make progress.

As another member says, "this is the cobbler’s shoes solution" (classically, children with a cobbler for a parent had dreadful shoes because the cobbler would be too busy doing client work to make time to sort their kids’ shoes out).

I could write for ages about why I love “DO to BE” so much. What brings me the greatest sense of fulfilment is seeing other people doing their thing, well. I love seeing others succeed.

Fancy joining us?

With no quibble cancellation and the first month free, this is a no risk investment in your productivity. If you have a difference to make in the world and want to get on with it, we would love you to join us.

Check out the details on the "DO to BE" membership page .

Books that surprise and delight

Thu, 12 Oct 2023 07:10:18 GMT

In their own time...

Do you enjoy reading? What have you been reading recently? What sorts of books do you like and why? Real ones, with paper smells and feels, or digital ones? Or perhaps audio books are your bag? I had a partially sighted great aunt and have happy memories of spending time together, sitting either side of the fire in her sitting room, listening to her talking books.

I confess to having a bit of a book habit. There are books in every room of my house, apart from the bathrooms, and none within sight of Zoom. Sometimes in Zoom meetings my mind wanders, wondering whether the people with the perfectly curated shelves behind them ever use their books. And then there is the colour and size curation. Each to their own, I guess.

Every so often, a long-owned book suddenly stands out from the others on my shelves, usually when I need to read them. A case in point, I have finally found and begun reading my old copy of Dale Carnegie’s ‘How to win friends and influence people’ . It has been sitting invisible on my shelf for a couple of decades. It was written almost a century ago, having been developed during the preceding decades and in much the same way that we currently reference decisions and behaviours in the Second World War, there are references to the American Civil War. And the ancient philosophers. It is fascinating how humans don’t change that much... Now I run an online business, it is interesting to see the influence and inspiration (and direct wording, in some cases) for so many marketing coaches with a ‘unique thought leadership’ message.

Would it hurt to refer to sources? I don’t know about you, but I rather admire people who do.

The very best book I ever bought for my Dad literally answered my call. I was standing by myself in the very wonderful Stroud Bookshop and had just let out an exasperated thought about not having a clue about what to get Dad for Christmas. There was a thump on the floor behind me, and there it was. It had thrown itself off the shelf. I have no idea how that happened. Gravity is one of the weakest forces in the universe, so perhaps it was just a very slow tumble from an inept placement some minutes before I arrived... who knows? But it was perfectly serendipitous.

Having recently enjoyed a leisurely wander around bits of Scotland with my tent in between client work, I have enjoyed reading a few books. One of my very favourite camping activities is to make a pot of tea and return to bed to read on a rainy morning. There is something about being snugged up under a duvet, reading to the sound of rain on canvas.

But sadly, it didn’t rain, so I had to make do with sunny days instead. Such is life. And on one morning I did allow myself to be diverted into watching dolphins as I drank my morning tea in my tent side chair. Anyway, that passed, as all things do… that week, I finished ‘The Old Ways’ by Robert MacFarlane, a book which I had somehow missed reading years ago. It was the perfect set up for a bit of a walkabout in the landscape where five of my great grandparents originated. Since coming home, I have been reading ‘The Living Mountain’ by Nan Shepherd. I find that the timing has to be right for books. Sometimes I can’t read more than a page or so before falling asleep, but when the timing is right, they become page turners. ‘The Living Mountain’ is one of those, and whilst being deliciously slow reading now, it is one for re-reading in the future.

The book that has affected me most deeply in recent weeks is ‘This is Dyslexia’ by Kate Griggs. I have been suspecting for some time that I have dyslexic coping strategies for reading (please don’t ever send emails in Courier New or Arial Narrow – it affects the word shape and will deeply affect the dyslexic, provoking seemingly irrational emotional responses).

The subtitle for Kate’s book is ‘The definitive guide to the untapped power of dyslexic thinking and its vital role in our future’ . Dyslexic thinking. That’s a thing! What a revelation!

Firstly, it is great to have an explanation about why I am a systems thinker; why I often come up with odd suggestions; and why I am so good at finding clarity in patterns. I also didn’t realise that my spatial awareness (and why I love driving vehicles, steering canal boats, flying gliders etc) was a dyslexic thing.

Secondly it is wonderful to have dyslexia re-framed as a positive. Most people know about Einstein and Jackie Stewart, but they’re pinnacle people, and there isn’t much space up there for us more normal, valley dwelling people. Dyslexic thinking is rich, diverse and multidimensional and something that quite a lot of us have access to. There are so many flavours of it, and with it there are so many possibilities. Best of all, it turns out that people who are a bit dyslexic are often avid readers.

The Art of Planting Trees

Thu, 21 Sep 2023 08:46:16 GMT

Making the most of the second best time

Autumn has arrived. I am fortunate to live next to a small wood, and there is a beech tree on the edge of it which is always keen to get on with her stunning autumn colour. This year she began back in the first heatwave of the year. She also dropped a limb, without warning, in the heat of one afternoon in June. (I saw it; it made a noise…) It turns out that her stunning expression of autumn colour is perhaps not so much a dazzling, but more a hint at underlying stress. There is probably an analogy there somewhere, which you may choose to ponder, but it’s not the reason I came here to write today.

As the memories of the heat of the second heatwave fade, it’s been over a week since the nightly temperatures dropped sufficiently for restful sleep. We are also a couple of weeks past that infectious ‘back to school’ clarion call, and the accompanying fretful busyness which affects so many, even if they don’t have school age children. I don’t know about you, but this week, the week ‘after’, comes with a better equilibrium. What stretches in front of us are a few ‘normal’ weeks, before the end of year fervour kicks in. (No C words here!)

Review for clarity

I love autumn and the sense of peaceful action as we prepare for winter. We need winter to make spring possible. At 7.53 on the morning of 23rd September, the autumn equinox occurs. Some people like to do a review to coincide with the equinox. I prefer to do a review to get some clarity to help me choose how I want to spend my time over those next few, ‘normal’, weeks.

Let’s begin with New year intentions... What did you intend to be doing in 2023?

It has been nearly nine months since New Year. How are those intentions shaping up. Let’s ignore the fact that some people will have grown a whole new human being in that time, and instead look without guilt, shame or judgy opinion at what you have achieved so far, before considering what you want to achieve before 2024. Let’s not forget that one of the glorious advantages of working for ourselves is that we get to choose what we want to do and how to spend our time.

There are numerous reasons why there is a difference between what you envisaged and what has happened so far. Mainly, you aren’t a clairvoyant soothsayer. Well maybe you are… but possibly you aren’t. Even if you did anticipate some of the events of 2023 such as a major deadline or a holiday, there is probably a degree or two of variation between how you pictured it and the reality of what happened.

The first step then, is to calmly assess that variance to find the basis for the difference between what you intended and what you have done so far. Perhaps there were unanticipated opportunities. Maybe you have done more than you thought possible. Perhaps someone surprised you with a trip away. Perhaps a work project got cancelled. Perhaps you were felled by a nasty viral infection in February and then you needed to take time to heal. Stuff happens – apparently part of the joy of life! (Maybe you have been growing a human in 2023?)

Whatever it is, this is a ‘no judgement’ analysis of whatever happened. Take time too to counter the human natural negativity bias by having a decent gawp at what you have achieved since New Year – I guarantee that the list is longer than you think!

The next step is to work out where the stronger and weaker corners are on the Vitality Triangle, remembering that this works at individual, project and organisation levels.

Over the next few weeks, what needs additional attention? Do you need to remind yourself daily of the ‘feel’ and energy of your purpose? Do you need to spend time connecting with people? Or nature? Perhaps you need to build your capacity by fiercely guarding your sleep hygiene. Or maybe you need to say a strong ‘Yes’ or ‘No’ to something or someone. Only you know what’s right for you, and what you need. There are no ‘shoulds’ here – ‘shoulding’ is judgy and comes with yellow, orange and red flags.

In reviewing this, what have you actually been doing, from a development management (where you get to manage the progress) point of view? Yep. This is ‘monitoring and evaluating’. And it is a necessary part of a project cycle.

Beyond gathering accurate information, the critically important part of monitoring and evaluation is to apply the information and knowledge to your choices about how you will be spending the next few weeks.

What can you achieve in that time?
How will you work?
What do you WANT to do?
How will you play and replenish?
Who will you be spending time with?
Which boundaries need a little attention?

This could be a nip and tuck, or you may have a realisation about an aspect of your life that needs changing.

Or you could be realising that you simply forgot to plant a tree in January, and as the ancient proverbial saying goes, ‘now is the second best time to plant a tree’ and y ou are relishing getting that spade in the ground to dig the necessary hole, dropping in the manure and getting that tree set up for life. More analogies to explore on another day, but let’s just leave it that healthy plants love muck, or as a group of us devised on one meditation retreat when someone hilariously misheard ‘no mud, no lotus’ (the ancient proverbial saying):

'no muck, no lettuce’ …

How is my year looking you might ask?

On a professional level I have got my embodiment coaching qualification (yay!) but I haven’t been recruiting new members to my ‘DO to BE’ virtual coworking community in the way that I had anticipated.

However, I have created that community and the small group of us that are in it are really enjoying getting stuff done in great company, as we work ON our projects and businesses together each week. As stepping stones go on my path of encouraging others to do their thing well, DO to BE is probably the greatest one I have created in a long time and it feels good.

The rest of 2023 is about doing more of the same and I am definitely on the look out for more purpose inspired changemakers to join me.

While you are here, have you followed me on my social media? I'm currently focusing on expanding my connections and I would really appreciate your assistance with that.

My Embodiment Coaching Journey

Fri, 28 Jul 2023 14:49:33 GMT

My work has always been about working with people

My appetite for learning doesn’t look like it is going to be slowing up anytime soon...

...and that’s the way I like it!

Sometimes I still pinch myself – I can’t believe I get to work with such amazing and interesting people every day. At school and university careers sessions, I didn’t know that development management was a thing. I didn’t know what it was. But through volunteering and getting involved with organising events, I have found my way to where I am now, an experienced development management specialist with formal qualifications and a business that’s in its 23 ^rd year. In the last few years, I have been developing an online side to the business, working with the people who run the organisations. In doing that, I have come to realise that it has always been about working with the people.

I’ve been on an ‘interesting’ personal journey too. An unhealthy marriage left behind and two kids to raise, created a vital necessity for keeping myself well. This took me to Tibetan Buddhism, via meditation. As a work in progress and not always managing to keep my vitality vital, I also got to experience pneumonia. I do not recommend… but it did teach me a lot.

So here I am now, supported by knowledge in systems thinking from both my scientific and social science training, a strong philosophy about exploring and encouraging what’s possible, and a solid embodied meditation practise. Life is rich!

I first came across the work of Mark Walsh and Embodiment Unlimited during 2020. It was a recommendation from my long term meditation teacher, the man who had first introduced me to the deeper somatic meditation techniques as something more nourishing and sustainable than the candyfloss of mindfulness. I know! That’s quite a statement. Mindfulness is a great way to help people initially and gives relief to people exhausted by the hamster wheel of life, but it is only the beginning. To be truly sustainable, we need to think less and feel and ‘be’ more of the time. As a practise mindfulness is quite thought-full.

I have long wanted to add a formal coaching qualification to my toolkit, but I knew it had to be ethical, trauma informed and one that worked with the body. I also needed to have enough time and energy to study. Sometimes it takes time to become the right time for these things… and now I have just completed an embodiment coaching certification, having completed the Foundation level (where we developed our personal range and capacity) at the end of March.

We have spent the last four months beginning to work with other people and I am loving it! Using the information in our bodies to help make decisions is awesome. It’s gut instinct, then some. It is amazing to see relief and enlightenment spread across the face of the people we are practising on – sometimes our peers, and sometimes volunteers. The benefit is for us, and our learning, any benefits for the volunteer is incidental, so we don’t charge as a matter of principle.

I cannot wait to continue to integrate what I am learning and the best way of doing that is to practise some more. Do you fancy it? Next, I am aiming to practise working with people across six sessions of up to 50 minutes each. It isn’t a talking version of coaching. Usually, you just need to do enough for you to get clarity, or to play about with the information and choices emerging. Interestingly, everybody I have worked with so far has experienced some level of ‘Aha!’… I will be charging, but only enough to make it something that you value enough to commit to turning up for 6 (probably fortnightly) sessions. But we can talk about all of that before mutually agreeing about how we both want to proceed.

Fancy acquiring some mega tools to help you do what you do, but with less stress and more enjoyment? Message me and let’s talk about it.

Indispensable advice for success

Tue, 11 Jul 2023 10:50:20 GMT

What do you think of when asked for advice?

Recently I was asked what advice I would share - something that made a difference to my success. It isn't advice as such, it is more of a cultural approach. I don't know where or how I acquired these nuggets, but there are two quotes that resonate when I think about what it takes to succeed:

‘No man is an island’

(John Donne, 1624)

‘The art of writing is the art of applying the seat of the pants to the seat of the chair.’

(Mary Heaton Vorse, 1911)

I do a lot of writing. It is a solitary activity, but I find it is better done in good company. One of the gifts of the Covid years has been the discovery of co working. Previously I veered away from it because there were aspects of working in an office that I generally found quite trying. Co working in a local brewery and virtually online has been a game changer for me. Community matters! Working in good company has enabled me to more joyfully keep the seat of my pants on my chair.

As humans, we are social animals.

The other gift of the Covid years, via the controlled conditions of deprivation of human contact, was a deeper understanding of what it truly is to be in relationship with others. Usually, it is deeply unethical to study humans in this way due to the inevitable mental health injuries... many of us are still picking up the pieces.

Have you noticed how the landscape for socialising has shifted? For instance, people don’t just call anymore, they email or message to arrange a time to have a call. What is that all about? How can we get back to being more naturally social?

Which brings me back to the ‘no man is an island’ quote. Utilising the unwelcome insights into what happens to us when we don’t have a healthy range of social connections and activities, I created a 'Purposeful Community Workbook'. It is designed to help you to curate your community of personal connections in a way that is nourishing and suits your current needs.

The book will help you to analyse what it is that you need & want (and what you don’t) to confirm what will best serve you. As this is vitality work, you are encouraged to work congruently with your values (purpose) and to be honest with yourself about how much time and energy you have to make and enjoy these connections (capacity).

If you can do only one thing to make a significant difference to your vitality, what would that be?

Get your copy of ‘The Purposeful Community Workbook’ .

By the way... that ‘No man is an island’ quote comes from a poem, called ‘Meditation XVII’ which was published in collection of essays and meditations, ' Devotions upon Emergent Occasions' . It’s a short, but influential poem (hashtag writing goals...) and I share it with you to ponder on, because community matters.

No man is an island,

Entire of itself.

Each is a piece of the continent,

A part of the main.

If a clod be washed away by the sea,

Europe is the less.

As well as if a promontory were.

As well as if a manor of thine own

Or of thine friend's were.

Each man's death diminishes me,

For I am involved in mankind.

Therefore, send not to know

For whom the bell tolls,

It tolls for thee.

Your working life in 45 minute sections

Wed, 10 May 2023 12:25:49 GMT

...a joyful and confident way of working

Did you hear about the time that the CEO of Zoom got Zoomed out and had to take time off to heal his fried brain? No, not the beginning of a bad joke, but a true story. It happened during lockdown and is a stark illustration of why taking breaks matters.

What is your most valuable business asset, the one you can’t afford to break or damage?

As a purpose inspired leader of your own business, the person that inspires all the activities and benefits that flow from your actions, yes, your most valuable business asset, that would be You.

Numerous studies have shown that working no more than 45-50 minutes before having a break is a solid and sustainable way to work. The results stand from whichever end of the telescope you look: whether tracking the habits of successful people; or looking at the human biology with data from brain scans and monitored heart rates.

When I first heard about it, I began working 50 minutes on and 10 minutes off, and found it really boosted my writing. But it didn't last. More than just the fading of the first flush of evangelical passion, after a couple of weeks I was tired, tired to the depths of my bones and my productivity dropped. 50:10 per hour, even with time off for lunch, was just too intense.

Now I have adjusted it to 45:15 per hour, creating 45 minute sections of work time, and I am in the Goldilocks zone of just right. I am getting important work done, well, and enjoying it.

As I work, I am generating a joyful sense of satisfaction.

More importantly, I am doing that without overstretching myself, so I now have more energy available for living after work. I am trying new things and meeting new people, in addition to creating (and delivering) my ways of making my difference through my work. Your ‘just right’ could be 5 minutes on either side, it doesn’t matter, the main thing is that you respect your most valuable business asset enough to find and do what works for you. This way you will be investing in this asset to keep it going, as if You are the goose that lays golden eggs.

There is a shift in thinking that needs to go with working in this way, because it really messes with the perception of a working day. I invite you to cast your mind back to a school setting, and the school timetable. Every day, school secondary pupils to get up and walk about between sessions, because classes are in different places. Classes do not go on for hours on end.

The next thing to think about is doing the work in 45 minute sections, because it is a novel approach to work.

It could be that you are writing, and getting up and moving about in silence aids the quality of your writing. You don’t lose the train of thought. While you are away from your desk, your brain makes sense of the task, making you even more effective when you return. The required shift here is being mentally prepared for the ‘interruption’ of the timer and embracing the negative space of the break to boost your creativity.

Or it could be that you are doing a series of 45 minute tasks, so the 15 minute breaks help you to transition between tasks, something which your brain needs. The shift here is sharpening the skill of accurately judging what you can achieve in 45 minutes, so that you are honouring your promises to yourself.

I believe in carrots, rather than sticks. So, one significant skill to sharpen is rewarding yourself. Making a physical movement of ‘Yes!’ or ‘Ha!’ or ‘winning!’ will embody your progress. Raising a mug of hot coffee to yourself in acknowledgement, or spending some of your 15 minute breaks outdoors and breathing in fresh air, these are all beautiful ways of micro rewarding yourself during the day. And so much more rewarding than having to wait for months for the grandiose gesture of a holiday.

Making conscious thoughts and actions in this way is making a conscious shift to recognising that you deserve these micro treats, so that the real link between goal - effort - attainment - reward makes a mental and physiological impression in your body. Overtime you will instinctively be trusting yourself and your judgement much more and inevitably, your confidence will build.

How do you want to be after a great day's work? Thinking about your personal Goldilocks zone of just rightness, how could ‘Your Working Life in 45 minute chunks’ work for you?

Vitality, the key to Sustainability

Tue, 14 Mar 2023 11:33:26 GMT

Introducing The Vitality Triangle

Over the (many) years of working in development I have often reflected on what makes a project sustainable.

One of the things I noticed when on grant funding panels is how the self-written applications from small organisations had a certain sparkly, vital energy that was largely absent in the bids from larger organisations and those written by professional bid writers.

Then, on a day when I particularly frustrated with the poor communications going on around a flat-lining project, that it hit me – the successful projects have ‘connection’! And when connection is added to the more obvious elements of ‘purpose’ and ‘capacity’, then there is that quality of ‘vitality’ and tadaaaa! I had a unique framework.

You can’t begin to imagine the excitement when after a bit of playing about I realised that this framework also works for the organisation and personal levels…

The triangle is balanced on the sharp edge, because for greatest sustainability, careful balance is required.

Whilst looking after yourself and prioritising your needs is seriously important, it is very important not to take yourself too seriously.

Weaving in a bit of playful energy is a great way to increase vitality.

What does the vitality triangle reveal on the personal level?

The three corners are quite fun to play about with. Everyone is different, and our individual circumstances change throughout each day, week, month, season, role, project, situation and so on.

Only we know the right answers about what vitality means to us in any moment. It is well worth taking time to really tune in to our quiet, deeper selves and learn to deeply trust that we really do know what is best for us. This is the key to acting with vitality and delivering sustainable projects that feel purposeful to you.

Purpose

Purpose is all about the need and benefits of an activity, whether they are for you, or for someone or something else. It underpins everything.

The main question here is ‘why are you doing that?’.

What are the permits for action? In an organisation there is probably a written statement somewhere or a governing document. For us as individuals, we have beliefs and values; available time and energy; wants and desires.

We also need to have an awareness about how much is enough. ‘Enough ’ is a Danish concept that runs alongside, and is more important than, ‘hygge’ . It is less well known, possibly because we’ll stop buying candles, blankets and chunky knit jumpers once we decide we have sufficient equipment to achieve hygge. However, as William Blake said, ‘You never know what is enough unless you know what is more than enough’ so go easy with yourself if you are still learning about what ‘more than enough’ means for you.

Other interesting ideas to play about with: ‘I want to’ is a need; whereas ‘I should’ is probably not about any of your needs.

Are you feeling anxiety about the concept of your Life’s ‘one true purpose’?

I certainly have done in the past.

Some people know they have a lifetime calling.

As a child, I remember learning and reading about inspirational women like Florence Nightingale and Marie Curie, recognising their lifelong devotion to their calling, and being told that one day, I too would get mine. Nowadays, listening to coaches, I am being told quite often that I have a ‘Life Purpose’ and that if I were to create a movie or show reel of my life, the theme will be there, running through it like letters through a stick of rock…

Whilst waiting, I have got pretty persistent with more transient interests. I have come to realise that it is perfectly valid to have a series of purposeful activities that bring fulfilment. Sometimes these can run concurrently, especially if raising small humans is one of them.

It is such a fascinating topic and right now, I am fighting against the urge to share a fistful of inspiring books about the magic of ideas, and developing your sense of purpose… I will save that for another day!

The relative grandeur is not as relevant as understanding the purpose of an important interest, and the direction and intent behind pursuing and progressing that interest.

Purpose is a great motivator and an excellent beginning for getting that thing done.

What is your primary motivational purpose right now? What thoughts are occurring to you? Write that down, together with anything else that just came up. This is gold.

Understanding the purpose is good, but to truly get a thing confidently done with vitality, in a sustainable, graceful and fulfilling way, it is important to also understand capacity and connection.

Capacity

This is where you will find your boundaries, the permits for activities and your fields of a ction where you get your stuff done, well.

Is ‘yes’ the right answer? If it is, how will you take the actions? Can you? By that I mean, do you have the resources, time, and energy available?

When does ‘not yet’ become a ‘yes’? How do you build your capacity? Should you? In all of this ‘no’ is a perfectly valid answer if what is being proposed does not fit with your beliefs and values; available time; or wants and desires.

Connection

Fundamentally, this is about experiences, celebration, and inclusion.

Naturally this includes your network of friends and family, work colleagues and making sure that the people you choose to spend time with leave you feeling good about life, but it is also about receiving.

How do you reward your achievements? And how easily do you receive rewards, treats and compliments fr om others? How honest are you about what you truly deserve?

What does the vitality triangle reveal for projects and organisations?

The same principles apply, pretty much. In a work setting, we probably take more time with research and broader thinking about the situation and its context. We are more likely to break the work into sensible bite size pieces, with practically spaced steps, like rungs on a ladder, where the first rung is within reach of the ground.

We probably also prioritise that work more easily, unless we fall prey to the pleas and pressures from colleagues & clients: other people’s apparently acutely urgent (‘my world is about to collapse’) priorities, putting us into that space of constantly reacting with no time to do the things that will make a sustainable difference to that most important work – our work. The antidote to that is to block time in the diary, mark yourself busy, turn up and do the work.

Being kind and helpful people who regularly prioritise others before ourselves, we are probably even less likely to prioritise ourselves in project or organisational development work, instead subsuming ourselves to the performance roles we play, which is why I think the vitality triangle is so important.

Collect the treasure: using the contrast of you in work mode, what have you just noticed about your personal vitality, purpose, capacity and connection? Note any personal and work observations that just popped up (write them down or lose them forever…).

So, how is your vitality triangle?

Is it poised, seemingly effortlessly, on a sharp point of purpose? Or are some of the corners a bit faded and jaded? Perhaps your triangle is a bit obtuse? To be honest, I’m going to be a bit worried about you if your triangle is a perfect equilateral…

There is no shame, blame or hierarchy in this. Everyone has something going on in their lives, and most people have had unwanted challenges in their past, the things that build up a person’s story.

What’s your story and what have your unwanted challenges been? What skills did you learn as you integrated them into your life? Is some of it still a work in progress? Can you see how they may be affecting the corners of your vitality?

How to overcome your unique situation, as you deliver your project

Obviously, we all have differing degrees of ‘stuff’ that we have encountered in life, and most of us are doing our best whilst fighting with cruddy residue on some level. However, rather than resisting it, there are some better ways of being, starting with paying attention to how our responses to past experiences may be holding us back by affecting our way of being in our present lives.

For now, all you need to be doing is noticing the patterns a bit more, so that in the future you can choose to act differently.

Then consider each corner of the triangle: lean into your purpose a little, reminding yourself about the significance of it all and why you like it, how it makes you feel. What connections do you need to make to begin to sustain or expand your capacity? Which aspects of your capacity are just the right size for you, for now? What have you overlooked celebrating? And so on…

I invite you to gently play with the vitality triangle and consider where and how you can stitch aspects of it into your work, life and surroundings.

We are all a glorious, messy, work in progress and I hope my vitality triangle gives you a helpful perspective as you go about your daily life and work to deliver the projects that matter most to you.

About motivation…

smartprospects@btinternet.com (Alison Randle) — Tue, 06 Dec 2022 09:35:33 GMT

...and does effective motivation include accountability?

I think not. Controversial? Let me explain my thinking…

I recently heard intrinsic motivation being discussed online by the productivity coach, Demir Bentley. I’m not even sure what he said, but suddenly things made sense and I was hit by inspiration. I even got an insight into why I resent the concept of accountability. This is resentment to the extent where I get very rebellious indeed, even though I really want to do the thing. Totally Mary, Mary Quite Contrary.

Intrinsic motivation comes from within. When motivated in this way, people can act independently, with a certainty that their efforts matter, especially if the activity builds their skills mastery and they are gaining a sense of satisfaction from the activity. Autonomy, purpose and mastery are all critical elements of intrinsic motivation. The deeper the activity, the greater the motivation. Any external reward such as being paid, getting appreciation from others, growing the organisation and so on, is largely incidental.

Extrinsic motivation, on the other hand, comes from outside and motivates people to either earn somebody else’s reward or to avoid their sanction. If you were educated in a school, this is exactly what doing your homework to avoid detention was all about.

I don’t know how you function best, but personally, I don’t do so well when there is a sense of threat hanging in the air. I have a strong childhood memory:

I am very worried indeed. It is nearly the end of term, and my teacher has got us on one of his catch up days – a day of finishing things we enjoyed starting earlier in the term. The outcome of the day for me is sure to involve missing out on a reward of some sort and being humiliated in front of the rest of my class. I am definitely not in charge of myself, and I cannot think well enough to do anything effectively, even things I usually enjoy. I am deep into the anxiety and paralysis of being overwhelmed. I have a sense of dread… I am temporarily without what little autonomy I ever had at the age of nine or ten.

Even writing about it decades later, I am beginning to feel overwhelmed again. This is the traumatic little place that I get transported back to whenever anyone suggests having some ‘accountability’ to me. I literally cannot function in that space. Worse, to reinstate a sense of autonomy, I begin to get rebellious and avoid doing the thing altogether, even though I have a strong desire to do it. Yes, it is barmy, but one of the responsibilities of being an adult is understanding how you function in specific situations, then using that information to make appropriate and intentional choices. As adults we can make positive choices in order to take responsibility for ourselves. In this spirit, I choose not to engage with the concept of ‘accountability’ because it invariably belongs to somebody else.

This is what extrinsic motivation can do for a person – research by psychologists has shown that it will often negate intrinsic motivation. So the kind (and sustainable) thing to do is to help the other person find their own motivation to do a thing, or to make an informed choice about not doing a thing.

While we’re here, let’s consider that little paradox of deadlines, especially those set by others… They do sharpen performance and help bring forth results. Why is that? I wonder if it is simply that a deadline makes time finite? Is it just a way of conning ourselves into believing we have mastery? And anyway, what gets a task finished? Is it the final bit just before the deadline, or is it the lack of pfaffing to the beginning of the bit in the run up to the deadline? I think it is the latter, and that is why I love a deadline – it gets me to begin an activity in a more purposeful way, with much less pfaffing.

And then there’s the To Do list. How do most people tick things off their to do list? They speed through the action of crossing off the completed thing, before lingering long with the all the very many things that are yet to be begun, creating a constant sense of inadequacy.

In the last 18 months I have discovered coworking, and have done it in a variety of settings. I loved it from the start because of the camaraderie and the difference it makes for getting things done – I find it really suits me, although if the sessions are too long, I find myself overly depleted. Some ideas for effective and productive working don’t get incorporated into coworking and there have been aspects of coworking that I find distracting. So, I decided to design and host virtual coworking spaces with the intention to reduce distraction and emotional burnout: I present to you ‘Co Working Tuesdays’, consisting of three, 45 minute, deep work, sessions.

In these sessions we:

Set intentions in a way that builds intrinsic motivation
Have three solid, non-pfaff beginnings
Actively manage our mental and physical energy by skilful use of breaks
Focus on what things we got done and embody our achievements
Reflect on what we learned about the difference between intention and achievement

This final point is important. Achieving what you intend is based on two things: accurately setting the intention; and creating the right conditions. These are skills we can only master through the trial and error of experience and more effective application next time we set our intentions for getting a specific a thing done.

Let’s be clear, this is a positive and supportive environment. There is no need to pre-book a session, you just turn up, or not. No need to submit apologies for absence, or to feel any sense of shame or guilt for letting other people down. You can stay for as long or as little as you want – if we’re in session when you arrive, just drop your intentions in the chat and join in. If we’re in session when you leave, drop your achievements in the chat, notice how closely it matches your intention, high five yourself, and just leave. I only work with adults; as far as I am concerned, everyone makes their own choices and how any individual chooses to use their time isn’t really anyone else’s business – there are no sanctions for not completing, just shared celebration of what you did get done.

We don’t speak much during the sessions, instead choosing to use the ‘Contributing with Confidence Community Meet up’ time immediately afterwards to ease into discussions. This is where we can share what we’re up to, ask for advice, feedback, and help, share what we’re working on and generally offer one another moral support. This is also the time you can ask me technical questions.

Come and join us! Anyone who wants to get something done is very welcome

A Renewed Sense of Purpose

smartprospects@btinternet.com (Alison Randle) — Tue, 22 Nov 2022 13:32:30 GMT

I wasn't expecting this, but suddenly, I see...

It’s been an odd few months...

Partly because I have been barking up a wrong tree with the way I thought I wanted to work with people and partly because I have been negotiating my re-entry into post lockdown life where everything is different. My internal landscape, external points of reference; everything has shifted. Probably as it always does over a couple of years. It’s just that usually it goes on whilst I am fully integrated into a social society of humans…

Talking to other people, it is clear we have experienced a level of collective trauma, thanks to the disruption of usual socialising with favourite humans. At one point I noted that even in highly stressful business meetings, humans make physical contact when they shake hands.

And then I finally got COVID, and it was not nice. I did well to dodge it for as long as I did, and I am truly grateful for anyone and everyone who made vaccinations possible because I was properly ill there for a while and I cannot imagine how bad it must be without some immunity.

Anyway, the upshot is… quite a gap in my communications. Plus. A development of my personal development, thinking & learning, and a breakthrough for the way I want to support people.

So, I am back, and I have a renewed sense of purpose

How did I get here?

In 2020 I decided I was going to work solely with people in the not-for-profit sector. But that hasn’t turned out how I expected because I put the focus on the wrong thing.

By focusing on 'not-for-profit' , it opens into a place of fixed and scarcity mindsets, and I don’t do well in that mode. In attempting to make progress from that start point, even with what I have to offer from my experience accumulated over a quarter of a century of supporting people who run not-for-profit organisations, I have never come across so many people who already know absolutely everything already! As an illustration of how fixed it all was, even in situations where people were asking for help, they were extremely defensive when responses to their requests for help included actual help… It has been a disheartening time.

The upside of this odd episode has been a lot of learning!

I have gained insight and a sharper awareness about who I prefer to work with – people who are inquisitive and want to learn. The sorts of people who really understand that the people, places of species that they help will benefit when they take the time to work on themselves; learn new skills; or acquire additional knowledge.

These people can be found in non-profit AND for-profit situations – and anyway, it isn’t about that.

What matters is their motivation and how focused they are on their purpose for doing what they do.

In my efforts to learn and grow over the last couple of years I have remembered and realised several other things, including:

Purpose-focused entrepreneurs are supportive, generous with their thoughts & insights, encouraging and keen to learn
Making the time to do the deep work, and to implement what we learn from other people, is difficult
I help people to understand what they need to do to make a thing a reality
I am good at creating and holding space for people who need to get something done
I love organising events!

In short, this whole episode has brought me clarity about the purpose for my work

So now I have a plan, events to arrange, resources to develop, and plenty of ideas to talk about to help you do the thing and get stuff done.

What are you doing next year on 23 ^rd May? I will be having a gathering for my inner circle of people who come together to get stuff done. The programme will be drawn from the community, each sharing their ideas and inspiration. There will be an opportunity to stay on for a three day retreat to do the thing and get stuff done. We will be in a venue in a beautiful place, with really good food. There will be opportunities to stretch into our creativity, with time to be outside in the beautiful place.

Between now and then, I have a vibrant community of supportive and encouraging purpose-focused people to build. They will be able to access monthly training, regular meet ups, and virtual co-working to do the thing and get stuff done, all with support and a sense of camaraderie. We’ve all got reasons for doing what we do, and the focus is very much on creating a greater ripple effect – because when we work on ourselves, the people, places and species benefit too.

The people you are likely to encounter if you choose to engage with me or the Contributing with Confidence community are all purpose focused. They are the sorts of people who are inquisitive & curious and enjoy gathering understanding about situations. They are lifelong learners. They love learning through play and experimentation. They’re probably quite creative. And visionary. These are the sorts of people who often understate their awesomeness and expertise, but they are up front with their kindness, generosity, and support. This is a gang of people happy to work towards being the change they want to see in the world. When they act, there are ripples of benefits.

My community will be a space where you are encouraged to play about with ideas, getting it wrong a bit, so that gradually what you really want will begin to emerge. In my space, it is all about the art of the possible and ‘no’ is a complete sentence.

Are you in?!

Make sure you have joined my email community so that you don’t miss any invitations or announcements – people on my mailing list will always get first dibs on offers.

Co Working Tuesdays - get stuff done!

smartprospects@btinternet.com (Alison Randle) — Mon, 14 Nov 2022 11:16:04 GMT

Commit to making time for YOUR priorities

Tuesdays, 9-12 on Zoom

How do you fancy creating a few hours each week to just get stuff done?

No calls or emails, just uninterrupted time to make headway on the list of things you really want to get to but keep finding other people’s “urgent” things keep getting in the way.

Mark yourself busy on your calendar and join me on Tuesday mornings.

We will do three rounds of deep work sessions, each 45 minutes long, with attention to proper breaks in between. You can come for as much or as little as you want.

Why 45 minutes? Because this is a highly effective way of working (there have been studies). I used to do 50 minutes, but that’s a bit too full on for me and I find I get depleted if I work too long at that pace.

How it works:

We will briefly say hello at 9am, and you can write you intentions in the chat box.

I personally find the word ‘accountability’ a bit of a kryptonite word, but if it is what you need, then you will get it, although I don't do detentions & deprivations if you don't do what you intended...

I prefer to put emphasis on feeling the celebratory endorphins as I get stuff ticked off, so expect a bit of a high five, or raising of the water glasses & mugs of cold tea as people share what they have achieved. If you don't achieve what you intended to do, you can reflect on the reasons why, so that over time you can gain confidence in your ability to set and achieve your intentions.

Timetable:

09:00 Say hello, set intentions

X:10 – X:55 In session – do what you can to stay in place, without interruption.

If you join or leave during the session please do it silently, understanding that nobody will say Hi! or Bye! during a session

X:55 Stand up, shut your eyes, shake the tree & breathe, then step away from the desk for 10 mins

11.55ish Say farewell or stay for the CWC Community weekly Q&A, discussion and networking session - in the same Zoom room

Aren't you worth this?

It's FREE! Come and join us!

Hit the button to sign up - you will get an email with the details and the link

The NEW Vision for Volunteering

smartprospects@btinternet.com (Alison Randle) — Wed, 01 Jun 2022 14:28:36 GMT

Volunteers Week 2022 and the freshly unveiled 10 Year Vision

‘Volunteers strengthen communities and make great things happen’

Ruth Leonard, Chair Association of Volunteer Managers

We are living in disruptive times and disruptive times call for innovation. The response to one of the greatest disruptors experienced so far in the 21 ^st Century was led by local volunteers rolling up their sleeves and doing what they can in the circumstances. New ways of communicating and co-ordinating responses have been developed. It became necessary to take action outside of prescribed government channels. We are seeing this continue with the response to war in Ukraine. What do you do that’s also known as volunteering? It doesn’t have to be about food parcels for people in need or turning in a regular duty at a treasured organisation or charity shop. In addition to running a not-for-profit organisation, you might ‘just’ be being neighbourly or helping out a bit at your sports club. There is no hierarchy of contribution – it all counts.

The definition of volunteering set out on the Vision for Volunteering website

‘Volunteering takes many different forms... whatever form it takes, volunteering is an active, deliberate pursuit. Each volunteer chooses an activity they want to do, motivated by the difference they want to make, and how this shapes the world they want to live in.’

Volunteering is acting deliberately in response to need.

In early May, the NCVO launched a ten-year Vision for Volunteering. At the time, I noted:

I’m at the Volunteer Expo at the NEC and back with the volunteer development crew for the first time in a very long time – and it feels good. In particular, it feels good because the young #iwill ambassadors have been challenging assumptions and long held beliefs: ‘Honesty is Leadership!’ <-- OMG!!! This!!

There is a freshness and spaciousness around this new Vision – it doesn’t feel like the usual trite, hackneyed stuff... It consists of five focus points. Volunteer-centric, it considers what volunteering looks like and how volunteers feel within their volunteering activities:

Awareness & Appreciation
Power
Equity & Inclusion
Collaboration
Experimentation

This vision is hopeful.

It creates space to interpret ‘whose good?’ more inclusively, to create a new shape for volunteering. I am genuinely excited about this shift in perspective. Traditionally, volunteering was often envisioned and shaped by people with power in Society – the people in the flowery hats and white gloves with great intentions, but often driven by ego and appearances. By the way, I find having a mental ‘is this too flowery hat?’ test useful when assessing a proposed set of actions against levels of inclusion. How have the proposed set of actions been derived and decided?

Just before the launch at the NEC on 6 ^th May, three (young) #iwill ambassadors spoke to us – each challenging thinking in a different way. Although mixed, the audience contained many white faces of a certain age range and socio-economic status. In a section led by George Fielding BEM, he got us taking part in an edgy participation exercise, asking us difficult questions against the backdrop of the encouraging and inspiring call:

‘Honesty is Leadership!’

As we go about our lives, interacting with others there are so many questions… What are our assumptions and how have we acquired them? What judgements are we using? Are they ours, or were they learned from others? Who are those ‘others’? (Are they still in our lives?!) Are our working assumptions currently valid? Can we disrupt them? Should we?

Each of the five foci of the Vision for Volunteering give us an opportunity to develop and hone our leadership. The first focus of the Vision for Volunteering is ‘Awareness and Appreciation’ and this week (1 ^st to 7 ^th June) is Volunteers Week. Who will you be celebrating this week, and on into the future?

I have shared my responses and what resonated for me, but don’t just take my word for it! The ‘Vision for Volunteering’ website is a very relatable site and contains a great deal of information, including many relevant reference documents.

What resonates for you?
What are your hard learned lessons; what is your ‘honesty’?
How will you be disrupting your assumptions?
What will you do?
What is your #iwill …?

George argued that we can each choose and demonstrate greater inclusion as we choose and decide our interpretation of ‘good’. The hope and optimism of this new Vision is that it gives us the space and appreciation for each of us to create a way of being the change we want to see in the world. There is space too to make a commitment, to declare your #iwill over on the ‘Take Action’ section of the Vision for Volunteering website .

Small charities rock!

smartprospects@btinternet.com (Alison Randle) — Wed, 25 May 2022 06:32:57 GMT

Why do I love small charities?

It is the passion about the Purpose. That passion and Purpose are present in the action being taken. Even if there are staff, everyone has contact with the people, places or species that they work with.

People care and there is usually a ‘Can Do’ attitude, even if volunteers are still fatigued, following their efforts responding to unanticipated challenges that were thrust upon them in last few years.

There is greater flexibility and nimbleness in the way that the organisation can respond to opportunities, even if resources are limited.

People make things happen – sometimes truly remarkable levels of spinning straw into gold at Rumplestiltskin+ level.

The flipsides?

Sometimes, there is an attitude that everything must be done on a shoestring which can cloud decision making. There is a very important question, which I was reminded of recently when in conversation with a Treasurer of a sports club ‘What is the cost of NOT doing it?’ . For people grappling with the ‘what ifs’ , there’s another Smart Prospects article which digs into this area: ‘Yes, but how do I know that is for the best?’

The most problematical downside is when people care so much that boundaries become eroded, and the work of the charity takes precedence over their own needs. This creates two issues: martyrdom, which makes it difficult for anyone else to step in; and burnout.

The martyr effect is usually in play when one person is doing nearly everything, but banging about, tutting and sighing as they do it. Should anyone be foolhardy enough to help, they are likely to be swiftly criticised for doing it all wrong. So people stop volunteering, resulting in a tighter, deeper spiral away from a healthy and inclusive volunteering model.

The route out? Let’s not muck about… removal of ego and any sense of hierarchy of contribution. Tough conversations may be required too, but the organisation will be a better place for it.

Burnout. This is so sad to see. It is the logical endpoint of failing to prioritise basic personal needs of sleep, physical exercise and downtime. The most valuable resources in any small not-for-profit organisation are time and energy. If the people contributing their skills, expertise, experience, passion and enthusiasm burnout, the charity will suffer.

It isn’t just a matter of loss of a valuable person; if a charity is allowing its people to operate in this way it says a lot about the cultural values and congruence of that organisation. Potential supporters, donors, staff and volunteers usually assess incongruence before getting involved.

If you love your small charity too, you will fiercely prioritise your needs.

Creating Inclusive Meeting Environments

smartprospects@btinternet.com (Alison Randle) — Tue, 17 May 2022 13:30:42 GMT

Unconscious bias and leadership

The man on Zoom is in a quandary – the chat has erupted. He has generously offered to workshop someone’s course example live, focusing on the audience, their needs and how best to serve them.

Many people were excited by this opportunity to have some free specialist consultancy for their business, so hundreds posted as fast as their fingers could type. Selecting a topic from a fast moving Zoom chat feed had been tough. He has decided on one of two, rejecting the first one (supporting menstruating women) as being too difficult and settled instead on something which now has the crowd divided about whether it is sexist.

The niche was someone who supports women who are feeling completely out of sorts after childbirth. That’s OK, and so needed – many of us had difficulty navigating the abrupt life change that a new, highly dependent infant brings. Except it has been couched in terms of ‘women who are depressed and needing to get back in shape after childbirth’. For many on the call, happiness for a woman depends on the size of her clothing. The rest do not agree with that statement.

The coach clearly has great values and his generosity in a pressured situation has got him into this cul-de-sac. He clearly thought that this would be a good topic to workshop, but it has not turned out that way. I have had my head in my hands because of the way the discussion is going (these poor women will be able to ‘play with their children’ and ‘enjoy a healthy sex life’, once they have lost weight…). Now there are debates in the chat about whether it is a sexist topic. There is much ‘enthusiastic’ mansplaining at women who are expressing their unease; ‘this is about helping women in need’ they are saying. Many people are triggered and distracted from the epic (and free) marketing masterclass taking place on the screen adjacent to the chat. People are dropping off the call.

So why is this article about inclusion? This situation is a great example of unconscious bias in action.

This poorly selected topic is far from neutral, and it is upsetting and excluding people.

What was a space that was beautifully set up to feel warm and inclusive, is suddenly intolerable for some.

Yet again, women are being reminded that our ‘Western’ World View is created and driven largely by a male point of view – we live in a masculine paradigm. Women being able to make their own choices about their own bodies is still a point of debate. There is an expectation that women will be attractively presented and largely (no anti-pun intended) unobtrusive. There is the assumption that this is what women want for themselves.

It is interesting that the first niche (supporting women who menstruate) was rejected, along with a bit of displacement behaviour, a school boy style joke and snigger - a further demonstration that the adult female experience of living in a female body is not universally understood. The selected topic has divided the room. Many men in the situation are not seeing this as a problem. They cannot understand why women would be rejecting such wonderful help to support this clear need.

I am a lifelong learner and each day brings fresh opportunities for learning. An integral part of running effective meetings is ensuring that people feel safe enough to speak, and that if they do speak, they will be heard. Lessons on facilitating meetings that I took away from the situation:

When facilitating a live workshop, try to preselect two or three safe topics ahead of time, then watch the chat for live examples that fit those topics

Be an ally. If a discussion is going wrong, call a halt. Explain why the conversation is inappropriate. Apologise. Regroup. Go on with a fresh direction for the discussion.

It is possible to extrapolate this situation and gain some insight into all the inadvertent ways that unconscious bias causes upset – even when the person leading the conversation means well. Glo Atanmo is particularly good at highlighting examples of accidental racism in her Instagram account. The LGBTQ+ community is up against all sorts of unconscious bias too – with more likely to be on display as the Conversion Therapy (Prohibition) Bill makes its way through Parliament during the current session. Humans are designed to learn by listening to stories about things that have happened and with so many people currently telling their stories, there are many opportunities for learning more.

Development management theory says that our views of the world are shaped by our lived experiences and the history & culture that forms our environment. These things are often so ‘normal’ they are hard to discern – even for women in a Society designed by and for men. Then there are ‘Institutions’ – situations and groupings of people where unwritten rules govern norms of behaviour.

Our natural inclination is not to go against these rules, even when those rules create conditions that don’t suit us.

Next time you are running a meeting, here are two top tips to aid your preparation:

Spend time beforehand to consider how you will make sure that everyone present can feel comfortable enough to contribute, and to actively listen. If you have people who will never contribute during a meeting, how can you encourage them to share their views? Do you need to have a break part way through where people can post comments on a board as an alternative to a potentially daunting group discussion? As is often the way when effort is made to be inclusive, the overall experience and benefits are greater – using a post-it board has the benefit of providing an opportunity for more developed views to be added, deepening the conversation beyond what was expressed during the group discussion.
Consider what you can you do to help yourself open up to the possibilities that are coming from this meeting ahead of you. What is the intentional mood you need to be in? What energy do you need to summon? Should you go for a walk, clean something or play with your dog for a bit? Perhaps a little mooch? Something that brings you into that space, better able to contribute and to listen.

Our role as people who facilitate space for dialogue, is to lead in a landscape governed by invisible rules. If we fail to make that space inclusive, then we lose out because we will be missing the thoughtful, high quality contribution from the quieter, more reflective people, the alternative thinkers and the introverts.

As a local Council Community Development Officer in East Cornwall once told me after a particularly fractious Parish Council meeting, 'Hollow vessels make most noise' .

Loneliness - Mental Health Awareness Week 2022

smartprospects@btinternet.com (Alison Randle) — Thu, 12 May 2022 20:44:27 GMT

Alone in a Crowd... reflections on MHAW 2022

The theme for MHAW 2022 is ‘Loneliness’, which is a tricky topic, and not just because people rarely speak of it. Despite what we have collectively survived in the last couple of years, it is still not well understood. People either hide it well, or other people look at someone on their own and judge them to be lonely. Loneliness simply isn’t that obvious.

Looking back to when I was at school, one of the themes for an art ‘O’ level piece was ‘Alone in a Crowd’. It really struck a chord. I can’t recall exactly what enormity my 16 year old self was grappling with then, but I really got how it is possible to be incredibly lonely in a crowded place. The frantic sport changing rooms, for instance…

So, I created a piece of embroidery with a full, rich, well rounded heart in warm tones of red. Around it were a jumble of jagged diamond shapes in cool tones, none of them actually touching the heart which is utterly alone in their midst. It was quite an individual piece. I have barely thought of it in years (I think it is still in my loft) but reading an article that one of my University friends has posted on LinkedIn, I have suddenly been transported to that distant land of being a teenager at school. Observing my children navigating their teenage years, I recall wondering how any of us survive it – it is such a tough set of transitions, even in a supportive setting.

In the years since, I have survived many things and in doing so, found it necessary to learn about meditation and radical selfcare. In one of the many books I have read in the last decade, I learned about the real meaning of this old word ‘alone’. Firstly, the old pronunciation of ‘one’ is ‘own’, so

the actual meaning of ‘alone’ is ‘all one’

We can learn how to become all one – to not strive for the myriad of fractured personas and obligations that we think we’re expected to be. So, we require skills; proper life skills. Being alone, and learning to be alone, is the art of learning to be whole and learning to just be.

So how can we support others in their learning of these skills?

Firstly, we can drop judgements and opinions on whether we think they are lonely, instead listening to the language that they use. Is the ‘I’m fine’ said too swiftly in response to somebody asking how they are? Have they become ‘flaky’ (I detest that judgemental word) and absent, often cancelling plans? They could be quite happy in their solitude, but perhaps some social anxiety is preventing them from joining in? How can you make it easier for them to take part? Can you do something to reduce the amount of decision making and planning they have to do? And what if it is you? What would happen if you were to ask for a little help? Could you nudge past the fear of the fear of asking, and do that little thing for yourself?

Secondly, we can take these concepts and apply them to our organisations, and look – it’s another conversation about inclusion! What can we do slightly differently to reduce feelings of isolation and loneliness? What subtle thresholds and barriers to participation are in play? What could be done to reduce or remove them? Is there something in the style of language in use, or the methods of communication? Is the organisation, and all the people in it, being truly inclusive? How will you know? Create opportunities for conversation. Ask people for their feedback. The people involved with your organisation probably love it very dearly and will be only too glad to help explain any glitchy bits, because of course, promoting positive mental health is a daily activity, and not just for this arbitrary week in May.

Link to some (I found them to be) interesting resources:

Mental Health UK’s Mental Health Awareness Week

The MHAW2022 flyer on opening conversations

The MHAW2021 Flyer on wellbeing

New Economics Foundation report ‘Five ways to wellbeing’

Reflections on Inclusion

smartprospects@btinternet.com (Alison Randle) — Wed, 06 Apr 2022 18:21:57 GMT

What is inclusion, and what does it feel like?

I’m sitting in my local brewery. It’s a B Corp. It has become a community hub venue for a range of people, events and activities. Recently a few of us have been using it for coworking on Wednesdays; ‘Laptop Wednesdays’ because apparently marketing ‘Get Shit Done ’ is problematical, even though that’s exactly what we’re all doing here. Amongst our number today are a herbalist and someone who works for the UN. We’re a happy little bunch, getting lots of shit done, and it’s wonderful to be meeting a wide variety of people over the weeks. Even some of the brewery office staff have been joining in.

As it is a community space, those of us perched about with laptops have come to appreciate sharing the space with a wide range of people. Sometimes there are the (truly raucous) knitters and weavers. Sometimes it is the (cheerful and inquisitive) artistic daubers from a residential home.

Today it is a group of young people, most in school uniform, full of joy, celebrating someone’s birthday. There are a range of people in this group – many have ‘additional’ needs. Except here they don’t. Some are pottering about on their own, quite happily doing and saying whatever they need to. One young chap has music or a video playing loudly on a mobile phone. Others were playing with a small football. Now they’re sitting down and the candles on the cake have just been lit. There are no additional needs at the moment because they’re all covered.

All of us are being looked after in this shared space

The reason that I have just picked up my mouse is that as I am sharing this space, I am reflecting on how kids like these were treated when I was at school. They were marginalised and excluded. They had their own mini-school, in a little building at the edge of the sports field, under a nice tree. Nobody else socialised with them. The possibility of sharing a mainstream space with them was just not an option. But here, today, it is.

Yesterday evening I watched a brilliant BBC documentary presented by Ellie Simmonds OBE, the paralympion swimmer with dwarfism. It investigated the issues around the trial of a new drug that helps eliminate the problems of dwarfism (and there are some painful and difficult medical challenges for some that will benefit from additional support). The programme makers spoke to people of average height who expressed the view that this new drug will help people ‘suffering with disabilities’ to live a ‘normal’ life and ‘experience love’... Dwarves, including those blessed with warm, bubbly and encouraging families, happily married with kids and grandchildren were there aplenty, expressing concern that their dwarf identity was what was being eliminated.

So here I am today, sharing a space where nobody’s needs need to be excluded, or hushed up. Everyone is happy. It feels deeply nourishing to be in a truly inclusive setting.

Inspiration for the 'On Being A Trustee' events

smartprospects@btinternet.com (Alison Randle) — Wed, 09 Feb 2022 13:41:25 GMT

Trustees - do you feel like your charity only loves you for your money?

So I was online, reading posts in a fundraising group... which is rarely a good place to begin…

Someone had posted a question asking for guidance on to how to encourage all their Trustees to donate money. They also wanted to know how to ensure the charity has access to all their Trustees’ networks. The responses to this and what other people were saying got me thinking. I got quite cross. The general attitude seemed to be that the Trustees were only there as a means of opening wallets; theirs, their friends’, and their contacts’ and if they weren’t doing that, then they had no right to be a Trustee. I think that's deeply disrespectful.

However, it did give me some insight into why Trustees may not always receive the right level of support.

We know that when people agree to become a Trustee often it's because of the work that they're doing in another space, or another sector or because of experience and expertise that they have. Yet all too often, the emphasis seems to be purely about fundraising. For too many charities and non-profit organisations the problem is that Trustees, (or Directors or committee members, whatever title the role has for that organisation) are not given the appropriate support to settle into their new role. This leads to gaps, lack of progress, disillusion and ultimately, bitterness. This wastage is something that inspires my work – imagine what our fabulous sector could do if even some of that wastage was reduced. It was interesting to see these assumptions and expectations in action in an online group.

I began to think about what I could do – how could I utilise my experience and expertise to make a difference? I’m always thinking about building community and a big purpose of my work is about bringing people together so that they can network and support one another. We can create a supportive community where people not only learn from one another but also cheerlead for one another. The idea of having a salon conversation emerged. Now I've looked online at the concept of salons and I'm not sure it's exactly what we need, but then I also looked at circles and it came up a lots of links about primary school circle time, and I don't think it's that either! So I’ve settled for ‘ A Conversation’ .

What I'd like to do is to create a space where a bunch of random Trustees can come together and just chat for an hour. I'll be there to help tickle the conversation along and to ask questions, such as:

What are Trustees in early 2022 thinking and feeling?
What is frustrating?
What are you aspirations for 2022, and how might you make these things happen?

Let’s keep it simple – a free get together on Zoom. Just turn up, bring a favourite drink and we'll just have a warm discussion for an hour. We can all meet some people and let’s see what happens from there.

I have a Facebook group which you can join as well, but I am looking at the Circle platform as a place to have to build a community of peers where you can share, but the data is not being harvested, shared and sold by Facebook. It'll be a private space for us to use as we see fit.

My ultimate aim is to create a space where we can support one another and help great things to happen. But first, let's simply create a space where you can talk to other Trustees. It'll be open and supportive but also private, so what gets shared in the space stays in the space.

So that's it that's what I was thinking, thanks to some crass comments... Sign up for your free place on the next free discussion session. You'll also be joining my email list so we can stay in touch. I look forward to meeting you soon!

Stakeholders and Partnership Building

smartprospects@btinternet.com (Alison Randle) — Wed, 02 Feb 2022 21:10:03 GMT

Working well together - a learned skill or some sort of dark art?

Stakeholders. They get mentioned a lot, on the news, in articles and occasionally in general conversation, depending on who you’re talking to, of course. Are you confident that you know what a stakeholder is? If one came up and bit you, would you identify it? Alternatively, do you know when you are being a stakeholder? Are you confident that you know who all your organisation’s stakeholders are?

Let’s start with the definition.

A ‘stakeholder’ is any individual, group or organisation that is affected by, or can influence, decisions or actions taken by your organisation.

Some stakeholders are actively involved, and others are passive.

So what difference can they make? Working well with stakeholders helps to get things done and provides a solid foundation for making a real difference. However, stakeholders can also prevent activity and in the process of delivering a sustainable project, their potential negative influence needs to be identified early. Mapping is helpful for this.

In mapping your stakeholders, just how formal does that process need to be? Do you need to create a convoluted away day scenario, of could you make use of a corner of your favourite coffee shop and just think and scribble for half an hour or so? That’s how I am writing this article and as a formal mapping methodology for development management practitioners, it is perfectly valid. (I will always defend the right to think creatively in lovely locations, especially if it forms part of a daily mooching practice .) It could also be appropriate to gather people together to do it collectively – it just depends on the situation. Again, it doesn’t need to be particularly formal, it can also help create an excuse to get a group of people together to have a different style of conversation to the more usual, habitual and functional conversations.

Suggested method:

Grab a couple of sheets of paper and a nice pen.
Define what part of your work you are working with – is it the whole organisation, or an area of its work, or a project. Is it now, or in the past or future? Write that down – this is your situation of interest (SOI).
Looking back at the stakeholder definition, scribble down everyone and everything that comes to mind.
Organise that list in relation to your situation of interest – which of the stakeholders are active and which are passive. Creating two lists here is often helpful.

Now you (and your group, if you’re doing it collectively) have something to discern. For instance, if it is about a current situation, is it what is needed? Are some of those stakeholders on the wrong list? Perhaps there is a different phase of activity coming up soon, and the lists will need to be differently configured. How will you communicate that, especially to those who will need to disengage? How will you invite participation from the currently passive stakeholders who will need to be engaged in the next phase?

Which eases us into the question of partnerships.

A good partnership arrangement requires a shared understanding of purpose, goals and planned methodology and gives space for both parties to be heard.

Some partnership work arrangements require formal documentation, for instance a Service Level Agreement (SLA), but even these can only work well if there has been a period of consultation, discussion and negotiation so that each party understands its place, function and any expected outcomes.

What do you need to communicate and with whom? Looking back at your list, what information do your various stakeholders need? What would help them? How will you create the space to hear their views about your plans? Or perhaps you need to hear their views about something that has already taken place?

It’s important too to monitor and evaluate as you go along in stakeholder relationships, listening and communicating and devising new solutions together, as required.

Where the relationship is less active, good quality communications are required with the passive stakeholders – why is that thing happening (or not happening)? In a similar way that great art is as much about the spaces between objects as the objects themselves, communicating about the gaps and ‘negative’ spaces helps to define the activity and the definite course of action.

Finally… celebration; marking achievement and the steps of progression; forms a critical part of partnership working. Great quality partnership working is not so focussed on the ‘work’ that collective feeling of progress becomes neglected.

If you have any questions or queries about this, especially if you are in the process of mapping stakeholders and building partnerships, feel free to drop me a line or make contact (scroll down for details). I'll be delighted to hear from you and happy to help.

Mooching as a daily practise

smartprospects@btinternet.com (Alison Randle) — Wed, 02 Feb 2022 20:29:19 GMT

My journey to daily mooching began, I suppose, in late 2012. A traumatic incident which left me with PTS whilst also needing to persist with my role as a self-employed single parent of two teenagers. In between failing to navigate a freeze response to the trauma, I was doing my best to keep looking after the needs of family and clients. In late 2018 I succumbed to pneumonia… It took me five months to recover to some degree of normal health. Less than a year later, we were all sharing the depths of Covid lockdown with all the pressures of the then collective existential stress. As I write this, sitting in a favourite café in early 2022, we should not underrate how deeply tired many people still are from this episode in our lives.

Having begun learning more about meditation in 2010, I had in the interim been fortunate to discover Buddhism, thanks to a search engine algorithm which took me to Alistair Appleton’s Mindsprings website just in time to book up for a weekend course on entry level mindfulness. Since then, fate, coincidence and serendipity have taken me to places where I have been able to sit and learn from some truly great Buddhist teachers. Some of the best opportunities turned up whilst on looooong waiting lists for 'proper' support... More recently, I have become much more interested in personal growth, daily reflection and journaling – this personal practise has helped me to develop deeper resilience and more skilful ways of living and interacting.

In 2017, as part of my Master’s in Development Management, I did a course module about using Systems Thinking to solve real world problems. Did you know that one of the most important aspects of systems thinking in practice is daydreaming? Having previously considered this one of my greatest weaknesses, the day I discovered the true value of dawdling about, pondering abstract stuff was quite a turning point!

Daydreaming is a veritable superpower – it is to be practised regularly

With such encouragements, I have noticed that where I can have time away from my desk, everything works better, especially analysis, writing and communication tasks. It's also great for my mental health.

The umbrella term I have for this is ‘mooching’ and it covers activities such as walking, having a coffee in a favourite café, sitting under a tree, sketching, photography, gawping at the view, playing patience, doing something I used to love doing at the age of seven, drinking tea... anything that doesn’t have much of a purpose in itself, but you may find yourself humming a little tune to yourself as you go – that’s the kind of vibe I’m talking about.

In autumn 2021, I was browsing around in a bookshop and Liz Gilbert’s book ‘Big Magic’ fell off its shelf and landed near me. It is one of my Randle Laws that one should always immediately read books that randomly fall off a nearby shelf. I discovered this Law a few year's back when standing flummoxed in a local bookshop, wondering what to get my Father for Christmas. I had absolutely no idea. Then the perfect book landed on the floor just behind me. Before the thump, I hadn’t heard of Big Magic, or if I had, it hadn't registered. It is brilliant!

'Big Magic' has influenced me to deepen my mooching behaviour

and

to develop it into a fiercely protected daily practice

The practice is simply to get intentional about mooching:

each day, set out to create a deliberate act of mooching
over time, get reflexive and inquisitive about what sort of a difference it is making to your happiness, creative thinking and general productivity

That's it. Not complicated.

Just a little of what you fancy each day to bring you benefit via a little space and ease.

Daily mooching for the win...

Project planning - why bother?

smartprospects@btinternet.com (Alison Randle) — Tue, 04 Jan 2022 19:08:54 GMT

Navigating the 'new' can be a daunting thing

So, this project that you have in mind, how do you know it’ll work?

I mean, obviously, you know your organisation and its activities, and you have a good gut feel about this one, but how do you know? And more to the point, how will you convince anyone else?

Projects can be slippery and stubborn beasties, which is one of the reasons why seeing a completed one flowing and creating benefit, just as it should, can be such a satisfying thing. Obviously, you would like to make a difference and create something tangible from your endeavours, but what else is driving and inspiring you? Is there an element of fear, some sense of scarcity? You probably don’t want to be wasting time and effort, and neither do you want to be wasting valuable organisation resources (time, energy and money). Bid writing is such a numbers game – the process is just so competitive and each ‘No’ adds a certain sort of a dull weight to the group of you who have certainty about the difference that you can make, if only you could get more funders to see that too… It’s not always about the funding, it can also be about running the project and getting enough people to sign up to take part in the activities. There can be a lot of water to push up hill sometimes. Wouldn’t it be good to do it once, and do it right, with reasonable levels of self-assurance that the project itself is going along OK?

With a good project plan, you can.

There are numerous points of potential failure for projects, but the two classics are not enough evidence of need and not enough support for delivery. There is no substitute for groundwork and fundamentally this boils down to investing the necessary time to build relationships and understanding. This is where a good project plan comes in – it helps to focus the mind about what’s required, where the gaps are and to be able to monitor progress. A great project plan has clarity on:

Goals
Measures
Capturing Learning
Communication

Goals

The SMART goals (specific, measurable, appropriate, realistic and timely) are best. What is going to make a difference to the people, places or creatures your organisation works with? What’s the timeframe? It’s not just the purchase of the thing, it is also having enough project activity time to put the thing into action because the new thing is going to enable your organisation to do something it couldn’t do before. What should your project be achieving? What could it achieve? How do you know? Always, it comes back to ‘yes but, how do you know?’

Measures

Well, how are you going to know when you have arrived? How will you know how much progress the project is making as you go along? What’s realistic? What could you measure that represents something less easy to measure? It’s always worth spending time considering the measures and bringing some elegance to it. Elegance in projects is always a valuable commodity.

Capturing learning

This forms the basis for progress and evolution in an organisation’s work. There are always things to be learned in the doing of something. How many times have you thought that you’ll definitely remember that glorious insight that just occurred to you? I find I usually remember the act of remembering, but not the actual detail. It’s quite frustrating. So how about knitting in a deliberate act of recording and remembering these fine details? Then there is the matter of sharing that learning for the benefit of others. How will that happen?

Communication

It is so easy to get your head down and focus on the minutiae of a project. Stopping to talk to other people about it is such a drag… but there is a price to pay. Humans thrive on communication and without it they tend to (selfishly) drift off and get absorbed in their immediate concerns. They need reminding about what is happening, and why. Projects need people to believe in them. Running out of energy three quarters of the way through is a desperate state of affairs. Support needs to be wooed and gauged early. If it isn’t there, pull the plug in the beginning, not near the end. That way lies madness. Literally. (I have that T-shirt. It’s not a pleasant garment.)

A great project plan is compelling. It has a basis in real evidence that demonstrates why the project is needed, with a clear trail to the way the solution has been devised and how it will be delivered. It will also be obvious where the support for the project lies and in what form. In short, a great project looks like a no brainer. Project planning works.

How do I know this? Including my voluntary work, I now have a quarter of a century of experience. Some of these things I know because of the truly disastrous way things went wrong, once (or twice!) upon a time. I’ve also been on grant decision making panels, and it is so obvious when a well thought out, authentic bid comes through, written by the people who do the work. It took me a long time to learn some of these lessons and I have devised a way of creating project plans that have that indefinable energy to them. Nowadays I do what I do to save you from having to spend too long learning these same things…

During 2022 I’ll be running a limited number of in person Project Planning masterclasses, with a hefty emphasis on implementation. The first people to find out about new project planning training will be those on my email list. They are also the people who get the early bird options – sign up now to be sure you don’t miss out!

Meta! Learning matters

smartprospects@btinternet.com (Alison Randle) — Thu, 02 Sep 2021 10:22:22 GMT

As humans, we're always learning stuff, but what did we just learn?!

Learning is so much part of our nature, it’s often difficult to identify individual achievements and useful information that we mop up as we move through our daily lives. You’re doing it now and like me, if you’re taking time to read this you quite possibly also enjoy being a lifelong learner nerd - as a development management practitioner, I take my development seriously. ‘Smart Prospects’ and ‘Contributing with Confidence’ is generally a team of one, but I have a training budget and give specific attention to what I need to be learning to best support the people I work with. In the last year, I’ve joined a couple of expert membership schemes. For one of them, Wednesday lunchtimes means a weekly training session and a chance to catch up with the other people in the group in person via Zoom. We also have a private Facebook group. In both schemes, I’ve met new people and made friends and connections that are now more than just business.

Together we share our experiences and support, cheer or commiserate as appropriate: together we are learning.

If you are a systems thinker or development management nerd you will already have recognised this very human way of learning: ‘social learning system’. This isn’t just a way of learning, it’s a basic human need; a central tenet to survival - it’s still all about where the best fruit, gazelles and healing plants are and how to prepare them for the benefit of others. It’s also part of belonging and how we feel good about ourselves and Life in general.

I’m writing this on a Wednesday afternoon, because today our session focused on groups for people on courses. Someone was talking about a group that they’ll be setting up, what they’ll be doing and the outcomes that participants can expect. I realised there was an unarticulated gap – something that for us, as practitioners, the people we work with need us to do.

We must capture their learning

As we guide people through any learning situation, we need to do the meta work. They need us to observe and capture what they’re learning as they interact with the materials, exercises and one another. They then need us to learn from their learning and stitch it into our future work. They need us to have learnt from previous participants and to have stitched that into our current work, whether that’s delivering a project activity or specific training, we owe it to them to have done this. How do you do it? Do you do it? It doesn’t need to be convoluted – have a few pages in your notebook or journal where you can jot points and notes as you work with the group, listen to their questions and conversations or scan through their posts in your group. It’s insightful. I guarantee you will gain wisdom, because people rarely notice what they’re learning as they go along, one of our many human foibles… and (if you’re still following and your head is still the right way out), one of the advantages of meta work, we get to learn from both levels at once, as we feed into the other level what we learned from the meta level.

Giving specific consideration about capturing this learning is a vital part of successful project planning and gives an edge in the grant funding bunfight. It’s an inherent part of the ‘Project Planning with Confidence’ Masterclass that I run. Check the events page for upcoming dates, or message me about delivering bespoke training for your organisation.

Masterclass : : Project Planning with Confidence

smartprospects@btinternet.com (Alison Randle) — Sun, 04 Jul 2021 15:50:03 GMT

Blend of training & co-working to help you create a cracking project plan, forming the basis for sustainable work with lasting impact

If you are a senior volunteer, Trustee or Committee member, the bid writer or a senior member of staff you probably do what you to because you care and you want to make a difference to the people, places or creatures that your organisation helps. You probably also care about not getting things wrong.

Have you ever found that this concern has slowed you down in some way? Have you not taken action because of being unsure? Or perhaps you weren’t able to distil enough clarity in order to formulate a credible plan? Or perhaps you just find the process of project planning a bit meh… whatever reason you have for getting better at it, I’ve designed something to increase knowledge and get you building a real project plan with confidence. It is a one day masterclass, specifically designed for people like you.

We'll spend 5 hours in a mix of training and co-working, led by Alison Randle. The following week there is an optional 90 minute Q&A session to sweep up questions that come up as you work further on your project plan. £274 includes the training, written materials, support and access to a private group where you can ask questions, share information and network. You also get the option of adding a coaching session with Alison.

By the end of our Masterclass together, the methodology I will share with you will enable you to:

• understand what goes into a compelling plan;

• be able to confidently communicate about the difference your project will make to real people, places or creatures;

• better understand project planning in the context of the voluntary sector;

• know how to make an effective contribution of your skills, knowledge and experience;

• understand how to get clarity on:

• relevant evidence for need

• goals and appropriate ways of measuring progress

• capturing learning

• communication to others

• have gained transferable skills;

• be part of a community group of peers;

• have gained momentum with your real project plan;

Buy Tickets Now

Or watch a video about the masterclass, or read on...

Creating a great project plan that helps secure support and funding, saves time and effort and forms the basis for great communication and leadership whilst also keeping everyone involved feeling part of it. A tall order? No! Especially not when you know how and it can be done by you, even if you don’t think you can.

With a mix of training, group coaching and co-working this masterclass aims to get you developing and making progress with a non-profit project plan in just a few hours.

Whether it is for:

• a specific funding bid

• a standalone project

• funding strategy development

• organisational strategy development

I’ll be teaching you about the key areas that need attention, such as:

• establishing the evidence for the need for the project

• understanding progress: how and what to measure to monitor and evaluate effectively

• capturing learning

• building sustainability

So that you can keep everyone along for the ride by leading and communicating well.

What’s more, this will be a budget and Gantt chart free zone.

Buy Tickets Now

Or watch a video about the masterclass, or read on...

We all love the results, getting the ‘Yes!’ replies to grant applications; introducing the VIP guest at a sunny grand opening event; or (my favourite) seeing a project beneficiary bloom, but do you enjoy the foundation work? I can’t say I’m crazy about it and I’ve been at this game for over 20 years. Even if you have lots of project management experience from outside the voluntary sector, are you sure you know what best to focus on when time, money and energy are finite? Do you worry about getting it wrong, letting people down, or making the right set of decisions that will help your beneficiaries in the best way? People often talk of the ‘Arrive – Survive – Thrive’ journey, but did you know it can take up to two years to feel confident in a new voluntary sector role? Perhaps you aren’t yet very sure of where your responsibility begins and ends, and you’d really appreciate some clarity so that you can see the way forwards. This masterclass is designed to help you with all these areas of uneasiness, so that you can project plan with confidence.

Collectively, small organisations with big purposes lose £millions each year.

Most UK grant funders report massive oversubscription for grant applications, which means that lots of small, non-profit organisations pour valuable resources into unsuccessful bids – it is a numbers game, and securing funding is becoming increasingly competitive. I don’t know many small organisations with big purposes who have spare resources to burn in this way. Even if your project doesn’t require external funding, your organisation probably doesn’t have the resources to fritter on unsuccessful projects. All too often it feels like there is a lot at stake, and that can cause a Board to procrastinate and get indecisive as people worry about doing the wrong thing. The answer is a good quality, practical and relevant project plan that’s been created on a ‘do it once, do it (mainly) right basis’ , so that people in and around the project really understand what it is for, what will happen and the difference it will make.

How to create a cracking project plan that gets results, even if you think you can’t.

Writing a complete project plan can be a dry old task. It is so very easy to cut straight to the fun bit of just making things happen, but this is a short cut which often results in going a longer way round, or even failing altogether. There are many really reliable ways of failing including:

• Not having enough evidence for need

• Not ensuring there is support for project delivery

• Not keeping an eye on progress or checking for necessary adjustments

• Not keeping supporters engaged

• Not understanding timescales

I have experience of grant funding decision making. It is not for the faint hearted – it really is terrible just how many good projects rule themselves out of the race simply by failing to develop a half decent plan.

I don’t want half decent for you, I want you to get to killer level of project plan! With a little extra information and intentional effort you can build high quality, comprehensive project plans. It needn’t take as long as you might think and it doesn’t have to be a drudge.

So, how will we be making your project plans sizzle with relevance?

Firstly, we won’t be focusing on ‘the thing’ that your project will bring into being, we’ll just be assuming that something will be created or bought, or some great activities will happen. We’ll also assume that someone in your organisation can come up with a properly costed way of making it so because persistent ferreting isn’t a particularly unusual skill. The reason we don’t need to focus on those things is because they’re in plain sight. Instead, we’ll be bringing attention to the more subtly essential parts of a project plan:

• the difference the project will make;

• (appropriate) evidence for need;

• monitoring and evaluation;

• project sustainability and capturing learning;

all whilst relating back to The Purpose that underlies everything that your organisation does.

Proper consideration of these aspects is what makes a project plan a great investment, rather than a potential sink of additional costs, ultimately making your project plan stand out from the crowd in funding bid assessments and crowded newsfeeds.

About the Project Planning with Confidence Masterclass Course

The Project Planning with Confidence Masterclass Course has at its heart a five hour (10am-3pm) virtual workshop, with a guide book and work book. I have designed it to be a blend of learning, group coaching and co-working. A week ahead of the workshop, you’ll receive brief information on some foundational topics so that we can really focus on actual project planning when we begin on the day. This is not ‘new shiny thing’ training – there is no point me taking you away from your usual activities if you do not implement what you learn, so in addition to the co-working time on the day, a week later there will be a 90 minute (12noon-1.30pm) group Q&A session with me. Peer learning is important, so there is a private Facebook group for you to network and discuss your work with one another. As part of the package, there is an option to purchase heavily discounted individual coaching sessions with me.

By the end of the training, you will:

• better understand project planning in the context of the voluntary sector;

• understand what goes into a compelling plan;

• know how to make an effective contribution of your skills, knowledge and experience;

• understand how to get clarity on:

• relevant evidence for need

• goals and appropriate ways of measuring progress

• capturing learning

• communication to others

• have gained transferable skills;

• be part of a community group of peers;

• have gained momentum with your real project plan;

• be able to confidently communicate about the difference your project will make to real people, places or creatures;

Why do I do this?

The people I work with care very deeply about their organisations. Whether they are local charities, community groups or sports clubs managing on small budgets, or organisations with larger incomes and paid staff, everyone is here to make a difference. That is what makes our sector so special, and that is what inspires me to support people like you to contribute your skills, knowledge and experience with confidence. I want to see you thriving in your role.

Frankly, in over 20 years of working in development management alongside the many successful funding bids, I have some amassed some truly world class experience in project failure. I have also seen first hand the long term effects of one-dimensional project plans; the disasters resulting from relying on reputation rather than evidence; and the occasionally catastrophic fall out from Trustees taking a route of least resistance and ignoring good governance. I have seen too the missed opportunities from failing to monitor and evaluate a project nor considering how to stitch a project into the longer life of an organisation.

I do not think everyone needs to have personal experience of these failures, and alongside the shocking competition for funding in the first place, I don’t believe that your beneficiaries can afford for you to learn project planning from first principles – they need you to stand on the shoulders of others.

Let me help you to help them

In addition to over two decades in the sector and £millions raised through successful finding bids and community fundraising activities; I have carried out systems thinking research into the funding of this sector as part of my MSc in Development Management. I have held paid and voluntary roles in the sector. I have experience of grant funding decision making. Overall, I have a deep understanding of the way this sector works, the people in it and what brings great outcomes for your beneficiaries. It isn’t difficult, it’s just a different way of thinking.

What others say

'Alison has a wealth of knowledge and useful contacts in the charity sector. Within a few minutes of talking through the issues with me, she was able to unravel complex structures and show me exactly what we needed. Her '100 reasons' technique was really useful to help the committee start to explore the reasons our organisation needs to exist. Alison is friendly, approachable, generous and really knows her stuff - if you want to get a new organisation running or need to fine-tune your trustee practices, I wouldn't hesitate in recommending her!' AC

'I've known Alison a long time so can speak to her depth, insight and general warmth as a person. Recently I've had the privilege of being coached by Alison as I start my charity consultancy business. She has real excitement for drawing out key themes, passions and ideas. She understands people. She connects the dots between people's thoughts, their subconscious thoughts, client behaviour, books that can help, methodologies that can help, people that can help. Alison is full of ideas and recommendations. If you're stuck about where to go next, she will help you find your way.' BM

The investment required for Your Project Planning with Confidence Masterclass is £274

Included:

• 5 hour virtual workshop

• A guidebook and a workbook

• Preparation materials

• 90 minute Q&A session

• Dedicated private Facebook group

Optional extra: discounted one-to-one coaching session @ £120 per hour.

Guarantee

I have some virtual course terms and conditions . Fundamentally I don’t like working with unhappy people, so if you feel you need to discuss a refund for any reason, please let me know at the earliest opportunity so that we can have a reasonable discussion about what has happened and how best to support you.

Are you ready to hone your project planning skills?

Buy tickets now!

In summary

You (yes, YOU!) are perfectly capable of confidently creating smart, effective, implementable project plans. The cost of poor project planning to beneficiaries in lost opportunities is incalculable. Small organisations with big purposes already lose millions of pounds each year through the highly competitive grant funding bid process. By working with me and your fellow participants, this masterclass will help you to project plan with confidence, enabling your organisation to avoid wasting valuable resources, and help you to help the people, places and creatures that your organisation exists to support. Let me help you to help them.

Yes, but how do I know that is for the best?!

smartprospects@btinternet.com (Alison Randle) — Wed, 09 Jun 2021 13:15:35 GMT

Interventions and actions: YBRANII, STiP and why proper washing up beats a dishwasher

What if you do it? What if you don’t? How do you know for sure what’s best?

Sometimes planning feels more like jeopardy than anything else. Perhaps benign neglect would be for the best? However, unless we’re talking about supporting bees with wild herbs in Spring (aka letting those dandelions grow), you are probably savvy enough to be able to take a broader view of things and get those decisions made.

I first came across YBRAN in an antenatal book, NCT I think, where it is a useful little mnemonic to aid decision making in the thick of childbirth. I have added a couple of ‘I’s because everything is friendlier with eyes, but also because it is helpful to add some systems thinking to the exercise.

Start by thinking about an action you are considering – large or small, perhaps part of a project, or maybe an email you need to send. Then run these questions over it:

Y Why do we need to do this?

B What are the benefits?

R What are the risks?

A What are the alternatives?

N What happens if we do nothing?

I What are the implications?

I What else does this influence?

These last two are particularly useful for the bigger picture. I have written before about the anatomy of a system where things influence other things, because we do not operate in a vacuum. Consider now the boundary of the current system that you are working in. Is it in the right place? By that I mean, if you are sending an email, the system boundary is probably not drawn to only include you and the person you are communicating with. It probably isn’t drawn so wide to include the whole sector, but it could be drawn to include the two of you and part, or all, of your organisation, your respective organisations, or the project and beneficiaries.

Once your boundary is in place, take a little time to consider the interactions within that system: the flow of influence, power, time & energy, resources, effort, celebration, and whatever else is pertinent. You may find yourself sketching some of these relationships out to create a little mindmap or spidergram. Let rip with those arrows – it will really help you to understand the dynamics and any lurking bear traps.

Now loop back to re-do the YBRANII then add the single most important aspect of systems thinking in practice: daydreaming. Go for a walk, do the washing up, make the office coffee. Whatever you do, just step away from your desk for a bit and let your subconscious mull on it. Insight will magically dawn – sometimes as thunderbolt, but more usually a feeling of knowing and a gentle ‘Aha’ as you rinse the suds off a mug.

Now you know you are well placed for your next step.

Anatomy of a system and what is STiP?

smartprospects@btinternet.com (Alison Randle) — Wed, 09 Jun 2021 13:06:38 GMT

Dreamers of the world, read on…

We are all one. No man is an island. These are the basic facts of life. I originally trained as an applied biologist, a science where nothing occurs in isolation, yet in my late forties, I selected a Systems Thinking in Practice (STiP) module as part of my MSc in Development Management. It was called ‘Managing Systemic Change: Inquiry, Action and Interaction’. To be honest, I thought it was something else, and despite previously studying a systems science for four years, I had no (conscious level) idea what systems were. It was like a homecoming. I was even happier than I had been studying Institutional Development, which was actually a lot about dynamics and interactions. This was more so. I finally found other people who looked at the world in the way I did.

I particularly enjoyed the ‘in practice’ bit because a lot of what I learned as an undergrad was about the importance of application of knowledge and understanding, as one lecturer so starkly demonstrated as he thumped down the thickest text book known to biologists (one of the Vines & Rees volumes) from a reasonable height onto the lab bench, explaining that this book contained every scrap of knowledge in the Universe. We dumbly looked at it just sitting there. We wondered what he was on about this time – he was our most unpredictable lecturer, having once brought military marching music to a tutorial played so loudly that it brought other lecturers thumping on the walls and doors. It was awful. The torment of the ordeal blocks my memory of what his point was then, but I’ll never forget the lesson he taught us that day with ‘the book of ALL knowledge’ when he quietly said ‘Now ask it to light a Bunsen burner’. Boom! Minds were blown. This principle still threads through much of everything that I value in life, including my work. Later, when returning to pottery, I saw it again in the principles of form AND function – pretty coffee mugs must have lips that work to be pleasant to drink out of. But I digress…

In addition to all the delicious applied aspect of STiP, I discovered I had a super power - something that I have been chastised for for most of my life, and now it had a practical application! Daydreaming. It turns out that daydreaming is an absolutely vital part of systems thinking, where standing back and letting things go a little meta is critical. Have you ever been accused of being a dreamer? If so, you are now in exactly the right place! If you don’t dream enough, why not do more of it? There are serious benefits to be reaped! But perhaps before you do that, you need to know something more about systems so you can begin to think?

The anatomy of a system

What happens when you draw a circle around something? Grab a piece of paper or use a finger to draw an imaginary line on a flat surface wherever you are, right now.

Did you? Go on, humour me, it’ll help the next bit to work…

Looking at your circle what are you focusing on now? Let me guess. The inside. What about everything outside the circle? Does that have any relevance now? Is it more or less relevant than the inside? As soon as you draw a shape, you create an inside AND an outside.

In systems thinking, the line you have just drawn is the ‘boundary’ . Your ‘system of interest’ will fall inside that boundary but will sit within the ‘environment’ beyond the boundary. It can be both influenced by and influence the environment, or there may be minimal influence. It is rare for there to be no influence. The trick with systems thinking is to get interested in what is really going on.

Now you can start to sketch some maps of relationships. There are a variety of ways to ‘map’ the system of interest. I usually start with blob and arrows, trying to work out the relationships between things. It helps to focus on one quality which could be:

• influence;

• power;

• time;

• resources;

• importance/priority

There aren’t any rights or wrongs – you are simply creating a way to gain deeper understanding about what is going on within the system of interest. If you need to communicate the information to someone else later, then obviously your map needs to be understood by someone else. You may want to jot down your thinking and assumptions as you go, but that’s not necessarily necessary.

Mapping can be sketched on the back of a beer mat, or it can take weeks or months, as you build information about beneficiaries, participants, stakeholders and partners. You can even find ways of feeding in information from a SWOT/C analysis (where C = constraints, because it is good practice to understand those). It depends what the purpose is, and how much information you need to gather (you can do a little map of that too). Usually the first iteration is a disaster, but like the first pancake in a batch, you need the first rubbish one to be able to create the pro-pancakes that follow. You may find that it doesn’t make much sense until you move the boundary inwards or outwards – then suddenly clarity will dawn. This is usually easier if you have taken yourself off for a good daydream somewhere away from the map… and that is why daydreaming is a superpower.

Do you feel inspired and now need to talk to someone about this? You could comment below; email Alison ; or go to the Facebook group to comment there.

Volunteering matters, but do all the volunteers feel it?

smartprospects@btinternet.com (Alison Randle) — Thu, 03 Jun 2021 12:06:38 GMT

In celebration of volunteers, and not just for National Volunteers Week

In many organisations there's a unique relationship between the organisation and the volunteer – a sort of symbiotic relationship, especially where the volunteers are the organisation’s beneficiaries. The organisation wouldn't exist without the people, and the people wouldn't be able to volunteer without the organisation. It is so important to celebrate volunteers, their contribution and the richness they bring to our communities.

There are numerous inaccurate ways of assessing the value of that contribution – we don’t even know how many people volunteer in total. Looking at the best guesses, whether from an economic contribution to ‘work’ or from improved wellbeing perspective, nearly every approximation has the figure around or above £100 billion a year. If we look at the ‘good’ of the awesome community response to the pandemic, there is no price we can put on the value of volunteering in the UK. It is genuinely priceless. Back in the early noughties I was working in East Cornwall on a Home Office volunteering project. Results from that project indicated that 70% of volunteers are unhappy, dissatisfied with the way their volunteering is organised. Why? Mainly it’s because they simply haven't been asked to do what they wanted to do, or what they can do. Worse, many feel that their help is not really wanted.

So, if 70% of priceless is unhappy, what are we collectively losing, and couldn't we be doing so much better? It's National Volunteers Week this week. The very fact that it is necessary demonstrates the depth of the problem.

There is little doubt about the importance of celebrating volunteers and their contribution. How do you celebrate your volunteers? Now is the perfect time to be celebrating contribution with stories; thanking people; writing them handwritten notes; taking an interest and acknowledging what they're actually doing (unfortunately not yet common practice) and having something relevant to say about their contribution. Nothing complicated, just basic humanity and leadership qualities. But why wait until the first week in June? Why do we need a National Volunteers Week? Retention begins as soon as someone joins, and honouring contribution shouldn’t just happen with the cake and flowers at the leaving do. How can we look to ways to make gratitude a greater, and more normal, part of our organisations’ culture?

Beyond the obvious ways of celebrating volunteers we need to look at the cultural structure of organisations. Key questions:

• Does volunteer quality of experience feature in the organisation’s impact report?

• Have volunteers got a voice?

• What's the culture?

• What profile do the volunteers have within your organisation?

• What levels of the organisation are they working in?

In a healthy organisation, everyone can contribute to reflexion about the collective work and activities. Stories about experiences are shared and enjoyed – often it is the littlest thing that can make people feel the most, and sharing these experiences builds social glue and organisational resilience. Many grant funders now value projects that are informed and developed by the grass roots of the organisation, recognising that this is the most effective route to sustainability. In short, volunteers enrich.

How will you be celebrating next week and beyond?

Why busyparents are productivity ninjas

smartprospects@btinternet.com (Alison Randle) — Thu, 27 May 2021 09:05:26 GMT

Is it OK that with 19.4 million families in the UK in 2020, busyparents are so often undervalued and overlooked?

I was on a Zoom call yesterday, when a side conversation broke out in the chat panel. Not unusual for our times, but it has haunted me in the hours since because these were top quality people who were being unnecessarily tough on themselves. These were busyparents, typing in unison in their collective notenoughness and their frustrations with not being able to work continuous days like a non-parent. Have you ever attempted to tell an angst ridden teenager that they are beautiful and amazing and they can do anything they want? Me neither; although I came close to uttering the stupidities on several occasions, but fortunately realised the impending futility a split second before I lost all remaining dignity as a parent. Now I am (probably) not speaking to teenagers… so here goes…

If you are a busyparent, you are a productivity ninja.

Busyparents have a superpower. I wish I still had mine. Whilst busy doing all the little things that keep young humans alive and relatively happy, they plan. They prioritise. Ruthlessly. The plans are centred around the next microbreak between all the highly necessary things that fill their days. Do you remember the story about the lecturer filling the jam jar with golf balls and asking their students if it was full yet, then showing them it wasn’t by adding successively smaller things? The analogy is often used in time management but let’s be honest, us non-busyparents tend to leave lots of air gaps in the jam jar of productivity. Busyparents are all about calmly the filling the already full jar with water. They use every scrap of wakefulness for something productive. They know precisely how much time is available, and which thing to do next. They are exceptional when it comes to prioritising, although perhaps with the exception of self-care and fully appreciating their awesomeness, but that’s a whole other topic.

I used to have a friend who ran her own business (you’ll see why I use the past tense in a mo). Around the time that my children were young, but self-dressing and self-feeding, we had a conversation. She said that she would never employ a woman of child bearing age because of the time off required for looking after kids and their various illnesses blah blah blah. Not long before that, I had enjoyed a surreptitious pub lunch as a lunch break with a professional colleague. Our children were a similar age. We discussed this bad reputation that working mums have. At the time, she had just finished covering a colleague’s role whilst they were away. As a busyparent she had cracked on with work like someone who has limited time because *school run* and had got such a hard time when the ‘can work until 5pm quite happily’ non-parent woman returned because my friend had ‘shown her up’. Yes. Quite. And another thing… the busyparent in the workplace usually, depending on the workplace and whether they are unfortunate to work for or with either of two of the women described earlier in the paragraph, really appreciates the break from all those necessary activities around nurturing young humans.

It is my lived experience that busyparents are productivity ninjas. We all need to find our own balance in life. One of the most important life skills to master is living without guilt or shame. I am so sad when I witness wonderful busyparents, giving to others in so many ways, but living with guilt and shame because of the warped way our ‘modern’ Society consistently fails to appreciate their contribution and their wonderful kids. The intense years of bedtime stories and broken nights are a really slim chapter in life – all too soon you’ll be back to air gaps in your jam jar, perhaps failing to even add enough sand, just like most of the rest of us. In many ways, the life of the busyparent is the richest life of all. So live fully in your enoughness, take pride in the matching of the washed socks and really appreciate how you rock your next microbreak, because:

You are awesome

and

You matter

20 years in business!

smartprospects@btinternet.com (Alison Randle) — Wed, 21 Apr 2021 16:20:55 GMT

It all began with an accidental volunteering situation

I was a mother with a one year old. In my life to that point I had already left behind two fledgling careers in scientific research and financial services, neither of which brought much contentment; we had just moved to a village in east Cornwall and my then husband was away at sea. I walked into a village playgroup session and my life changed forever, although I had no idea at the time that I had just stepped over one of life’s ‘next level’ thresholds. At the end of that session, the Playgroup Chair explained how it was the last one ever and the group would be closing as they had not been able to find a new Treasurer. Into that shocked silence I dropped those dangerous, non-returnable words ‘Well… I could… if you’re reeeeally stuck’. ...

I had been brought up with the ethos that you should give back more than you take, but this was getting extreme. However, what followed were several happy years of steep learning curves, pain and joy as together we modernised the playgroup to register with Ofsted and qualify to take nursery vouchers; fundraised for a significant amount of money to refurbish a building in the village for sole use by the group; and project managed the refurbishment to create a setting that was open five days a week, enabling the kids to have a great social life and some parents to return to work. It also gave the rest of us child-free breathing space for walking, chatting and being individual adults in our own right for a few hours a week. By the end of the project four or so years later, everyone on the Committee had had another baby, so we achieved all this with the added frisson of sleep deprivation and volatile hormones. It was worth it though, as one girl aged 4 and 3 months said on her first morning in the new building ‘I think I am dead’ (grownups urgently exchanged looks of alarm). She explained ‘It’s like being in Heaven. It is all white and it is full of my favourite things’ (Grownups murmured in response to the deep wisdom of the four year old). Does feedback ever get better than that? Hurrah for project management friendly huge tins of white emulsion, sourced by someone’s Dad.

A friend of mine pointed out that I was ‘good at this and should set up my own business’. Having taken on the role of Chair part way through the project, I had really enjoyed leading and inspiring activities that enabled a community to create something together, engaging the wider village community as we went. I had learned a wide range of skills covering governance, HR, project planning, project delivery, fundraising, event management, leadership, and communications. Some of the lessons along the way were sharp. A gift; but very sharp. So in April 2001, after being put in touch with my first client by one of my playgroup parent friends, I did just that and rang HMRC to let them know that I was now self-employed.

In the blink of an eye, it is 20 years later and I am still going. I’ve trained hard to secure formal qualifications, including my MSc in Development Management with the Open University, where I specialised in systems thinking and institutional development. I’ve worked hard in both paid and unpaid roles, learning and building practical skills, knowledge and experience. I have breadth and depth, having worked from local to international, and grass roots to national strategic levels. I’ve enjoyed some really bizarre situations, including a meeting in the wood panelled grandeur of The Chancellor’s Office in the HM Treasury building when, whilst waiting for a Minister to come and read a short statement to us, it gradually dawned on me that I was sitting between the (huge!) reps from Rugby Union and Rugby League. It turns out they get on really well in real life! Who knew? There was another time when sharing the celebrations of a client’s significant anniversary and their recent survival from the threat of closure, three of us were quietly paddling a canoe around the wonderful wetlands of Slimbridge when we saw a water vole just a couple of feet away. Or that time when those of us involved with fundraising at Friends of Westonbirt Arboretum were grinning at the sight of the completed car park – as the Head of Fundraising said ‘I didn’t know it was possible to be this excited about a car park’. I have so many cherished memories. Nothing gives me greater pleasure than seeing others thrive. What’s more this work has meant that I have been able to mainly work from home and raise my children as a single parent. I have been so very fortunate; and all because I finally plucked up the courage to go through the door, into that playgroup session, one grey November day in the late 1990s.

If I could sum it up, I suppose I could say that I am an enabler in the voluntary, community and charitable sector. I help charities and voluntary organisations make the most of their time and resources, ensuring that their people work harmoniously together, and that resources are used efficiently and effectively. I don’t ever work with an ‘organisation’, I work with people – the senior volunteers and staff, all of whom initially stepped up because they had something to contribute. I help people like you to step into greater contribution with integrity and confidence to honour your reasons for getting involved in the first place. I am so fortunate to work beyond the possibility point, where actions are amplified, because whoever I am working with and whatever we’re doing, there are many other people, places or animals that are benefitting. Plus I really appreciate the type of people who choose to work and volunteer in this sector – there is purpose, authenticity and heart at the root of people’s motivation. That matters.

One million British Trustees!

smartprospects@btinternet.com (Alison Randle) — Sun, 08 Nov 2020 11:46:59 GMT

Reflections on Trustee Week 2020

According to Trustees’ Week, there are just over one million Trustees in the UK. Now consider their impact on every aspect of British life – whether it is enriching lives through cultural, spiritual, educational and recreational activities or back filling gaps in State provision by running food banks or providing support to the homeless. These one million pack a powerful punch. Are you one of them? Take a bow. You matter!

Trustees week 2020 ran from 2-6 November and it’s been wonderful to read and listen to so many stories and experiences. It’s prompted me to reflect on my time as a Trustee. I’ve been involved with three types of organisation: stepping into the small, established organisation; setting up small community organisations; joining the Board of organisations with significant budgets. For one, I originally stepped up because otherwise the village playgroup would have shut the week after we joined it. I’ve got so much out of volunteering as a Trustee: fun; learning; friends for life; somewhere for my kids to learn through play and make friends for life; a new and fulfilling professional direction of life. There has been the satisfaction of seeing ideas brought into being. I can no longer park my car at Westonbirt Arboretum without getting seriously excited and recalling that time staff and volunteers turned up to a Board meeting grinning and generally getting over excited. The Head of Fundraising summed it up ‘I didn’t know it was possible to be THIS! excited about a car park!’. We were excited because this was the first physical manifestation of years of careful capital fundraising. It culminated in the Treetop Walkway. The bike racks are a particular joy. I get the same sorts of feelings in Plymouth, seeing places where regeneration budget was deployed and knowing that differences have been made to real people.

Of the small community organisations, I’ve set up two and registered two as charities. One organisation needed complete metamorphosis to survive (sound familiar, anyone?!) although ultimately access to public transport to part time jobs and the house prices in the village did for the demographics that supplied the village playgroup with children, so it has since closed. Letting go. That’s a difficult thing. But then, quite a lot about the culture of being an effective Trustee is a bit difficult. I think that’s also part of the attraction.

In the beginning, even with comprehensive orientation, induction and buddy support, finding your voice and feeling confident in contribution is daunting. This lag phase can last for up to two years. However, it helps to understand what you bring to the organisation – your skills and experience. Frankly, in most small and medium charities, time is a scarce commodity and there simply isn’t the spare time to bring on people who aren’t relevant, so tap into your relevance and use that to help inform your value and your contribution.

In the middle, there can be a bit of navigation required around the scope and tasks of your role. If there are paid staff, the line between strategy and delivery can get a bit blurry. I think it is very important to find ways to sit and listen to the staff. They aren’t servants – there is no place for white gloves and flowery hats in a modern charity. The staff concerns are usually spot on, their insight is to be respected and they often have great ideas about solution. The same goes for volunteers who deliver project activities. Plus, getting to know them enriches the volunteering, in my experience.

Leaving. A very good friend of mine who runs a charity in a Scottish inner city community, often remarks on the need to leave well. Often the date of leaving is constituted, but sometimes it becomes necessary to leave. In these times, use the organisation’s governing document to help inform your communications and actions. Leaving well is often easier if you have been diligent about note keeping as you went along and have a well-organised file to handover to the person following along behind you. Ideally there should be an opportunity to eat cake.

Letting go is the most important aspect of leaving well. The life of these organisations can stretch beyond the human lifespan. They have their own way and can even self-heal, thanks to their unwritten norms of behaviour, culture and dynamics. As you leave, active involvement shifts to warm support. Doing this without becoming an interfering nuisance (or a bad fairy godmother), is quite an art and total faith in the future and those left behind is required whilst we calm our emotional involvement.

Volunteering as a Trustee is gratifying, challenging, rewarding and can bring a great sense of accomplishment. To the one million British Trustees, let’s add the unquantifiable numbers of volunteer directors and committee members who run all sorts of voluntary sector organisations – in all the ‘Trustee’ rhetoric they, and the benefits they bring into being, can be all too easy to overlook.

Would you like to discuss your role as a Trustee? Perhaps you’ve still got that ‘newbie’ feeling and want to fast forward to the time when you can contribute with confidence. Or maybe you would like to meet more people like you? I have a free weekly meet up (12-1 on Wednesdays) and a growing community of people who run small organisations with big purposes. Whatever it is, contact me and let’s discuss how I can help you.

Tuesday meetups 12-1pm on Zoom

smartprospects@btinternet.com (Alison Randle) — Wed, 19 Aug 2020 22:22:50 GMT

Weekly surgery and discussion session for purpose focused people

Come and join in with our regular surgery and discussion session. Bring your questions & current gnarly issues into this confidential space - what gets shared here stays here.

A 1 hour discussion / surgery session for people who want to make a difference for people, places or species that you care about. You might be a senior member of staff or on the Board/Committee. You might be a purpose-led business owner. You could also be a development manager, researcher or consultant.

These sessions are also a chance to meet other practitioners. This isn't a selling space, but it is somewhere where you can build your network.

To join the session, you will need to be a member of the ' Contributing with Confidence' email community or the (closed) Facebook group which is where the CWC community is currently based. Alternatives to Facebook are being investigated...

Focus session 9.30-10.30am on 1/9/20

smartprospects@btinternet.com (Alison Randle) — Wed, 19 Aug 2020 22:09:52 GMT

Back to basics: Organisation Purpose - staying true to it in a busy world

Why this back to basics focus session on 'Organisation Purpose'?

It's been a challenging time, these last few months and it's been overwhelming on so many levels. Do you even remember why you started volunteering or working for your organisation? With so many of us in survival mode at the moment, it is all too easy to get distracted away from what the organisation was originally set up to do. 'Getting back to normal' isn't a realistic goal, but it is a great time to go back to basics. Looking at 'Organisation Purpose' seems like a great place to start.

This 1 hour interactive workshop session is for people who manage volunteer-run organisations (charitable/non-profit/community/sports clubs etc) either on the Board/Committee or as a senior member of staff. This will be a confidential space where we can take time out to consider how best to operate under trying conditions.

By the end of the session you will have:

spent time focusing on your organisation's purpose;
looked at what's distracting you;
considered ways to manage those distractions so your efforts bring most benefit to the people, animals and places that you originally stepped up to help; and
some actions and a time frame for implementing them

Included in the price are:

the workshop
support materials
opportunity to network with peers

This is a beta test session with a preferential rate of £27. In return for this I will be seeking feedback. Plus testimonials and referrals, as you see fit.

Exclusive bonuses:

to help you to take action you have the opportunity to book a 30 minute follow up 121 session with Alison, for the special, one-off price of just £17.
You will also have the opportunity to join the 'Your Smart Prospects' Facebook group - a closed community space for practitioners like you to share experiences, learning and insight.

To book your place, go to the Events page.

100 reasons why...

smartprospects@btinternet.com (Alison Randle) — Mon, 20 Jul 2020 11:34:39 GMT

Decision making made easier

Do you know why you do what you do? Do you know why your organisation does what it does? Is there any obvious reason for *that!* decision that got made last year?!

I’ve recently been working on some personal and professional development alongside the business development that has felt a natural thing to do in response to dashed plans and these strange Covid times. After all, staff training is a critical part of sustainable business development.

There was one exercise in particular that feels important to share. It’s very simple. Just write ‘100 reasons why…’ .

OK, maybe it’s not quite that simple, but it almost is.

1. Start with a decision you have made recently. It needs to be something a little meaty, something that requires a bit of commitment and gumption to see through to the end. I hesitate to use the gym membership analogy because everyone does, but it is that sort of thing. It probably requires an outlay of time, energy, money, or perhaps a change in habitual behaviour.
2. Put the kettle on
3. Find a pad of paper, or dig out that nice blank journal book that arrived as a Christmas present in 2015
4. Write the decision, including the related action
5. Number 1-100 every other line
6. Make the hot beverage of your choice
7. Read the decision again, tap into the feeling that the decision gives you
8. Start writing, completing all 100 now or over the next few days

By the end of it, ‘something’ will have happened. For me it was a sudden ‘a-ha!’ moment, an insight that has proved to be enduringly useful in all sorts of ways.

It’s a fabulously simple little process and I realise that it has all sorts of beneficial applications for organisation management. Here are three for a start:

• Board and committee decisions – imagine if everyone writes ‘100 reasons why…’ for a strategic decision? How powerful an exercise would that be? It would also give great insight into how the group overall is thinking. Strategic thinking shouldn’t be done in a rush, so there should be time to take a two meeting approach, with reflection and adjustment at the second meeting. It’s good to take time to listen to one another, especially if individual volume levels vary. Consider shifting things up a little by everyone reading out somebody else’s list. You could just pass them one to the right, or put them in a pile in the middle of the table, without names to take out prejudicial thought. Where is the consensus? What are the areas of difference? What are the surprises? Does that affect the overall decision?

• Bid writing – well the successful bid starts a long time before the application form gets written, but having read a few over the years, the ones that stand out in the pile are the ones that have that intangible authenticity. There’s an added dimension to the words. You can feel the project’s sustainable roots. Writing ‘100 reasons why…’ for the need of a project, or the selected delivery method will make writing the project plan and the subsequent bid writing so much easier.

• The possibilities are endless. However, it won’t work for those interminable committee decisions such as what colour to paint the toilet doors. ‘100 reasons why…’ in those instances could become a test instead. Ask ‘Can we do ‘100 reasons why…’ ?’ and if the answer is ‘No’, then set a timer for making the decision, or get a list of options and move straight to a vote before moving on with life in general.

Be sure to re-visit your reasons list once in a while – affirmations are often invaluable.

Would you like to discuss your organisation’s decision making processes? Or perhaps you would like to discuss your ideas for using ‘100 reasons why…’ before you put them into action? Whatever it is, contact me and let’s discuss how I can help.

Chairing meetings

smartprospects@btinternet.com (Alison Randle) — Tue, 19 May 2020 17:20:36 GMT

How do some people make it look so easy?

How is that for you? Daunting; frustrating; hollow; disappointing – just a few of the responses from people who don't enjoy chairing meetings. Perhaps this is not surprising when we consider that these are a set of skills that are rarely taught. Like so much else, we learn via a mix of watching others and personal trial and error, which can sometimes just feel like a stream of errors and poorly herded cats.

Getting everything right, completing a constructive meeting which leaves participants smiling, happily chatting, and planning their next steps with one another, is highly rewarding. The really effective people make it look easy but the answer, as with so many things, is not mystical powers, it's usually a question of executing some simple steps to prepare well.

When does a successful meeting begin? Is it from when consensus was found between a group of peers to set the meeting’s purpose, time and place? Or is it a process rather than a point in time, the foundation of which lies in the attitudes and the culture of the meeting, a process that builds each time this group of people meet? I think so. What’s more, it isn’t so much about the performance of the Chair during a meeting. It isn’t about you ‘getting everything right’; it is about leadership and ensuring that everyone in the meeting understands a few key things:

The purpose of the meeting
What level of contribution is expected from them
When and where to turn up, and when the meeting will end
What preparation they need to do before the meeting
What information they need to submit for circulation ahead of the meeting
Which actions they agreed to during the meeting

In reality, the relative success of the next meeting is founded during the previous meeting, setting the expectation that progress will be discussed, voices will be heard, and problems can be aired without fear of blame or recrimination. Good quality meetings feel like collaboration between peers, with each participant understanding their role whilst listening to and appreciating the contribution from others. Discussion can be hearty, but should never be personal. It should not in any way feel adversarial.

That said, meetings involve people, and the dynamics between people can be clunky or problematical. This is why setting and managing expectations is so important – it reduces the quantity of potential flashpoints. Often people who mis-communicate in meetings feel under-valued, un-seen or otherwise vulnerable. Sometimes it is necessary to let a person speak, uninterrupted, for (perhaps) three long minutes – even, or especially, if they seem out of step with the rest of the group. Counterintuitively, this potentially infuriating ‘time out’ will probably shorten the meeting. It also raises questions. Why is there a burning need to express their view? Have they been triggered by something? What is that? What is going on? Often these little eddies in the liminal regions of a meeting contain real gems and can provide great insight.

After a meeting, it is important to get the action list tidied up and circulated as soon as possible but first there must be time to decompress and reflect. There may have been subtleties in the interactions during the meeting which are hard to notice in the thick of it, when you are keeping both the discussion and agenda ticking along at the right pace. These reflections may affect the post meeting message that you send as a covering note with the action list.

Finally, what about your personal development? Identify one thing to do better next time; consider what you did well; celebrate something, anything.

Want to brush up your skills? Would you like some training ? Maybe you just want to discuss some ideas? Whatever it is, contact me to find out how you too can become one of those people who make chairing meetings look effortless.

More: some hints and tips...

Things I won’t chair a meeting without: (the longer list)

1. Purpose

2. Ears

3. A sense of humour

4. A clock

5. Something nice to write with

6. Time for a bit of social interaction

7. Time beforehand to collect my thoughts

8. A well planned agenda, with approximate timings for each item

9. Written reports that were circulated with the agenda about a week ago

10. A sheet for noting agreed SMART* actions

11. Someone else to take notes or minutes

12. An agreed finish time

*Specific | Measurable | Appropriate | Realistic | Timely

A note sheet for recording the agreed SMART actions

1. Create a landscape shaped blank grid to fill a sheet of A4, print it out and bring a few copies to the meeting. Fill it in by hand as decisions are made.

2. chose simple headings, such as:

◦ Agenda Item (No)

◦ Topic

◦ Agreed action

◦ Who

◦ By (date)

◦ Progress

◦ Notes

3. At the end of the meeting, run through the agreed actions, to ensure everyone does agree and you haven’t mis-heard, or mis-represented anyone. [Decide whether you want people to snap a copy on their phones, probably depending on the nature of the meeting.]

4. After the meeting, use another version of your blank grid to type up your handwritten notes for circulating to all meeting participants.

5. Before the next meeting circulate a copy, which may have been updated by then, with the agenda to prompt further action.

6. In between times, use it as a basis to check that everyone has what they need to make progress.

Community Development

smartprospects@btinternet.com (Alison Randle) — Sat, 16 May 2020 11:54:36 GMT

The goal of good community development is to get members of the community working together for the good of their community. With the sudden onset of Covid19 lockdown in March 2020, there are many examples where the community identified specific issues, then worked to find solutions, such as sourcing and delivering food to people unable to leave their homes. This is the best form of development, but can be the Achilles heel for non-governmental organisation (NGO) projects, if the project does things for the community. Despite the best intentions, the community becomes disempowered, or worse, dependent on the support. It can require specific (volunteer management) work to build the confidence of individuals to step up and take their rightful places.

In development management, we talk of development ‘of’ an organisation, and ‘through’ the work of an organisation. This might be supporting the committee of a village hall to build their capacity and gain skills such as making funding applications or effective community communication. It could also be working with the village hall committee to run a community consultation, or help them to launch a new type of event. With extensive community development experience, working in the rural communities of East Cornwall, I understand how to engage communities and build dialogue on which community solutions can be based.

The village hall is a classic community group, but communities also form by interest as well as geography, so much of my work over the last several years has been with sports clubs, often working on community development principles.

Sport Development

smartprospects@btinternet.com (Alison Randle) — Sat, 16 May 2020 11:53:15 GMT

Sport is an incredible vehicle for personal and community development. Just a few minutes watching the Paralympics or the Invictus Games demonstrates the power of sport to help give meaning and purpose to someone’s life. Taking exercise outside has proven benefits for creating positive mental health. It is rare for funders to fund sport, preferring instead to fund the progress that taking part in sport brings for groups of individuals, or the benefits that a vibrant sports club brings to a community. A well planned project demonstrates a good understanding of the benefits that the completed project will bring to the people taking part and their communities.

Sport development can be carried out at: sub-club level, for instance working on a project run by a local club to get older people in their community more active; club level, for instance work with the committee to review club policies and governance processes; or at country level, for instance working with a national governing body (NGB) to create a conference for club management volunteers. There are occasions where work with NGBs involves working with Government and Sports Councils on consultations to help shape Government sport strategy. I was an NGB representative on HMRC’s CASC Forum during the Community Amateur Sports Club scheme review from 2013-15, so I have an excellent understanding of how the CASC scheme works.

Charities

smartprospects@btinternet.com (Alison Randle) — Sat, 16 May 2020 11:52:03 GMT

For a relatively small word ‘charities’ covers a vast array of organisations. My favourite type has no more than ten full time staff, and usually fewer. I also include in this bracket local organisations with charitable objectives. For these organisations, there is a real heart at the centre of everything. However, there is a potentially unhealthy flipside manifesting as poor boundary setting and unyielding discussions fuelled by passion, despite shared values and vision.

It isn’t the charitable status that interests me; it is the work of the organisation. Charities differ from other voluntary organisations by their legal status and the need to report to the Charity Commission, and apart from the restrictions the status brings to some operational aspects, such as no political campaigning, there are few differences. Much of my work with charities focuses on the organisation’s work for beneficiaries such as project design and planning, monitoring and evaluation, developing funding strategy, governance, training and so on.

Governance

smartprospects@btinternet.com (Alison Randle) — Sat, 16 May 2020 11:47:11 GMT

An organisation’s governing document is the instruction manual, and the scaffolding within which the organisation operates, together with its committees, working groups policy documents, procedures and the unwritten rules that govern the behavioural norms of members. Combine these with the individual vision and imaginization that each member has for the organisation and even a small organisation is complex cultural entity requiring careful navigation. Understanding the organisation’s governance and operating in a transparent manner is critically important for legal compliance and to ensure member engagement. Simplicity is key. I have extensive governance experience, both technically at organisation administration level and dynamically in terms of engaging and communicating with people.

Organisations benefit from the wealth of experience that their Officers (Directors/Trustees/committee members) bring, often from other sectors. With time limited posts, there is usually a fresh influx of people each year. However, the culture for a voluntary organisation is very different to that of organisations in the private or public sectors, especially in relation to attitudes to risk and funding for survival. There is often a significant lag phase whilst Officers navigate the organisation’s culture and find their feet and their voice in meetings and if there are operational staff, there is a balance to be struck. Work with voluntary organisations often involves training for Officers to swiftly build their understanding and confidence to get them actively participating at an early stage. I offer training sessions and courses on all aspects of managing voluntary, community and charitable organisations.

Volunteer Management

smartprospects@btinternet.com (Alison Randle) — Sat, 16 May 2020 11:41:28 GMT

There are attempts to quantify the value of volunteering in the UK, but with their focus on formal volunteer programmes and charity shops, these figures can only ever be an under estimate. Even so, nearly three-quarters of volunteers are de-motivated because they haven’t been asked how they want to help, and they feel their skills, experience or interests are being underutilised.

Good volunteer management is simply a question of working out who wants to do what, when, making sure they feel that what they’re doing is meaningful and then thanking them for it. Achieving elegant simplicity takes diligent work, but it really can be that simple, all it needs is planning, good admin systems and clear communication. It’s an area that brings great rewards – happy volunteers can achieve so much for the work of the organisation and for the beneficiaries of the organisation (the ‘of and through’ set out in ‘community development’). Plus there are metta benefits, with the volunteers themselves being the beneficiaries both of their work and the work of the organisation. I work with organisations to improve admin processes and communications, including skills audits, as well as to help them define role descriptions and volunteer specifications, plus any training that’s required to help bed in the principles.